It’s weird to think that if I was pregnant, I would be 28 weeks and 2 days along. The due date was March 3rd. I have no regrets about the pregnancy scare, but I thank God each day that I’m not pregnant today.
But I do have regrets about the relationship with my ex. I didn’t deserve to be with him. I was a bragging right to him, to get in my pants. And I know that I may sound mean saying this, but it’s true. After our relationship ended (because of my depression and not wanting it to affect him), he became a total jerk. I tried being friends with him, not wanting to ruin our friendship and childhood together, but he didn’t want to be friends. He told me either we were together or nothing at all, and I said I just wanted to be friends and that there should be a middle choice, but he said no and walked away from everything.
Deep inside, I know it was for the better. We don’t talk at all nowadays. But in November, he texted me and sent me a friend request on Facebook. I replied to neither. It’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? To not be friends? No contact? He asks my friends how I am. They say I’m happy and together with another guy who I’m inseparable with. He says he’s happy for me and that he wants to talk to me more, but I say that’s never going to happen. After being such a jerk to me and not wanting to talk to me, he got what he wanted, and now he wants to talk to me? No, it’s not going to happen. And I’m not going to say sorry either, because there’s nothing to be sorry about at all.
Maybe I shouldn’t have regrets, you know? Cause now, I want to wait to have sex. I want to save myself for the perfect guy, and not have to worry about pregnancy scares when I’m 16 or 17 or 18 and so on. But I’m not saying that I want to save sex for marriage but at the same time I do… I don’t know it’s confusing.
But now, I believe I’ve met the perfect guy. I thought I was in love with Bailey, unconditionally in love with Bailey. But I was wrong. I watched this show about this woman who speaks to schools about sex and she said, “You know you’re in love when that person respects you and your values. And if you were to draw a boundary on how far you want to go in your relationship, they wouldn’t pass it.” And that made me realize things about the past relationship with Bailey. I told him I didn’t want to go far or anything, and he stepped over the line. FAR over the line.
And the guy who I’m with now and who’s the perfect guy, knows I don’t want to go down that road again. It’s like… I had to travel that road with all the bumps and cracks and crappy weather just to lead to the road where the road is smooth and the weather is absolutely perfect. And it’s actually funny too cause he said he wants to save himself for the perfect person too and that the perfect person is me. I replied, “What if I want to die a virgin?” and he said, “Then I will die a virgin too.” He has the same values as I do and respects me. And I respect him and his values.
I’m sure I’m in love with him. 100% sure. Before we started going out, my heart beat with no meaning, just trying to get through the day, you know? And now that we’re going out, He’s the meaning of my life. I can’t picture my life without him, at all. I went to Mexico in November for a week. And I was so homesick without him. It’s like my heart was ripped out of my chest and I had this lonely feeling in my chest. Colors weren’t as bright… Nothing was right. And plus, I couldn’t call him or text him. The only way how we could communicate was through Facebook chat.
But when that Monday came, and when I first saw him after first period… My heart was back in my chest. And when we hugged, time froze. It was just us two in the crowded hallway. Nobody around us; just us. Hand in hand walking down the hallway, with grins stretching across our face and ending at our ears.
I know what some of you might say: “You’re not in love. It’s only puppy love” or “You’re too young to be in love” or something like that. I know I am. I am. I am. I am. This is not me convincing myself that I am. It’s me telling you guys I am. If this isn’t love… then what does love feel like? Is it really that much greater of a feeling? Cause when we kiss.. the world stops. I get butterflies, my heart races. If I’m in the same room or building as him, I have butterflies, blurred vision, I can’t think straight, and I forget things so easily. You can’t tell me this isn’t love. I know it is. I love him unconditionally.
He’s the meaning of my life. <3
Hmm… Where to start…
Well, I’m not pregnant! 🙂 I took a test and it’s official. I feel like I have a big weight lifted off of my shoulders. I didn’t tell my mom about this scare, but I’ll tell her someday when the time is right. Although I got strange looks from people at Target, it was well worth it and I made a friend who works there. She’s a single mom, maybe about 18? She was super nice. She said just to ignore the people who are giving you the weird looks. I stuck around for a while so that when she got off break, she could talk to me a little bit about my decision if I was indeed pregnant. She said that keeping the baby is a tough job, but well worth it. But after telling her how old I was, she said adoption would be my best option if I was pregnant. She was like the big sister I never had. She truly saved my life that day.
And then there’s one other thing. Me and boyfriend aren’t seeing each other anymore. We actually broke up before I took the test, which wasn’t a smart move because I would need him by my side if I was pregnant. I actually did the breaking up part. He was getting so serious, talking about settling down with me someday and having kids, and I’m not ready to be done looking for guys. I’m still only 14 and for all I know he might not be the right one for me. And plus, our relationship was getting too sexual too fast. He wanted to do sexual activity whenever I came over and all I wanted to do was hang out with him and have a good time. Now, I didn’t break up with him just because of those two things, I also didn’t have any feelings left for him. Before we started seeing each other, I worked so hard to get him and then when I finally got him, it was like ‘Oh.. well, I finally have you and I don’t have any feelings left for you now, wtf?’ And he said well we can just take a break and I said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t keep coming back to you. I need to move on and get rid of this security thing I have with you. I need to live life as a teenager and be thinking about settling down with you.” And also, me and him have been off and on for a year and a half, and this year, I’m going to a new school with new people, and if I meet someone I don’t want to cheat.
Well, I’m glad I have that weight lifted off my shoulders and can live life like a teenager now 🙂
<3
So it’s July 18, yeah? And I still have no clue if I’m pregnant or not. I’ve had 2 signs of possibly being pregnant and that’s it. 1- I’m missing my period and 2- my breasts are a little sensitive. It’s been well over a month and I haven’t done one thing to figure out what the answer is — Well, I mean I’ve done research, but haven’t gotten tested.
I’m scared – we are scared. He said if I am, he’ll start to work and only play one sport. I told him he doesn’t need to go to one sport, but he keeps telling me has to. I’m scared, but both in a good and bad way. The good way: I’ve never had someone this close to me be willing to give up a sport or anything for that matter for me. Well, technically it’s not for me, it’s for the possible baby that could be on the way. The bad way: I could be pregnant and I’m so scared my parents will disown me, no joke. I know people say, “Oh they won’t disown you, sweetie. They’re just going to be disappointed and then they’ll get over the shock and then they’ll be supportive.” But with my luck, they could disown me!
I dunno what I’m gonna do. And when school starts, I’m gonna be screwed because all I can think of is keeping the baby vs adoption, the baby, my life and future, etc. It’s all going downhill. And I feel so alone, even though I have you ladies and my boyfriend to support me. I dunno what I’d do if I didn’t have him. He’s the love of my life. My mom says it’s just puppy love, but I don’t think it is; I think it’s the real deal. Even though I’m Catholic and he’s Mormon which will be a big deal for when the baby comes if we decide to keep it, what we’re going to baptize him/her.
Oh and right now, I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant (July 18).
Thanks ladies, so much.
So, I’m 3 weeks and 4 days pregnant (maybe). My boyfriend’s at camp and I’m making it through, sorta. I’m still trying to decide if I am pregnant. Because this morning, I had soccer training and we ran about 30 lengths of a football field, take or give a few if you will, and I was winded, but I wasn’t in the shape where I couldn’t do it anymore. Can a girl while she’s pregnant exercise intensely? Because I have soccer basically every day, give or take a few days and I’m not in any pain or anything, well pregnancy-wise, but still keep in mind, I’m not officially sure if I am or not.
And as for baby names, we have talked about it and if it’s a boy we’re naming him Bentley Wes, and if it’s a girl: Nevaeh Ivory 🙂 But we aren’t sure if we’re keeping the baby, even though it would be a very wise and mature decision to look into adoption. But, if I enrolled in a maternity high school or whatever they are called, we might be able to raise the baby ourselves. But then again, we’re only 14-year-olds and not parent material.
I still haven’t told my parents, I want to wait awhile and see if I actually am. Because I don’t want to tell them now and then later have it be a false alarm.
I’ll write another blog later 🙂 Tell me what you think about the names, or anything else you think would be a bright idea 🙂
<3
So here’s my story–
In the early part of June, I went on vacation with my boyfriend and his family and a couple of other families to a place in Utah. We had a blast. We were cautious about what we did even though we’ve never been sexually active and we don’t plan to be soon either. But, on June 11, on the ride home, we got a little crazy. He put his fingers on me and I was touching him as well.
The day we got back, I was supposed to start my period, but guess what? It’s about 3 weeks later and I missed my period. We are both scared. We can’t remember if he touched himself while he was ejaculating and then touching me after. I researched on the web that there’s a slight chance you could get pregnant, but with my luck, I could be pregnant right this second.
I’m turning 14 in August. I start high school in August also and there’s a possibility of me being pregnant. Great, now what? My boyfriend tells me to live life until we finally figure out the answer. I don’t dare go to Target and get a pregnancy test because I’m scared of what people will think when they see me go to the checkout stand with a pregnancy test in hand.
I’ve been getting slight pain in my back, like period cramps, but I haven’t gotten any bleeding. I’m sleeping till almost noon every day and I have a feeling my mom has some sort of idea that there’s a possibility that I could be pregnant.
I took the pregnancy calculator on here and I think I am pregnant. Because the day I conceived was June 11th, and that was the day we left and when things got crazy. If I am, I’m 3 weeks and 2 days along. The due date is March 3rd.
On Friday, July 1st, I hung out with him. I told him about all the research that I had done on the web and that there’s a possibility I could be pregnant. My periods have always been irregular, but I’ve never gone this long without one even though I know girls my age miss periods every so often, but I think I’m pregnant.
And I have no clue how to tell my parents, how my relatives will accept me, and how God will accept me now. I’m going to be a disgrace to my parents, I snuck behind their backs doing stuff a 13-year-old girl shouldn’t be doing.
Even though I haven’t been having morning sickness or dizziness, I still don’t know what to think. Some nights, I can’t sleep at night, but when I fall asleep, it’s around 2 and I sleep until noon almost everyday, and all I can think about is me and Bailey’s future. I might be pregnant and I have no clue what the hell I’m supposed to do.
One thing’s for sure, I’m not keeping the baby and I’m not a believer in abortion, so my only choice? Adoption.
I’m about to step into Hell.
Oh boy. If I am, God please send me a sign and help me through this journey of this pregnancy.
