I thought I would get you more information about my kids.
Well, when I was 16 years old, I found I was pregnant with my first child. I was still in high school. I was in grade 10 when I found out. I was with her daddy for 3 years before I was pregnant with her. He left me when I was 3 months pregnant. On May 5, at 1:13 am, I gave birth to my Daughter, Skyler Elizabeth. She weighed 7-11-23 inches. I gave natural birth, painful for sure. A year left, I found out again I was pregnant with my second child. He was born on April 20 at 2:59 am. He weighed 6-9-21 inches, His name is Dylan Andrew. I was with his father for a couple of months before I got pregnant. Now at the age of 20, I’m expecting my 3rd child. I’m having a GIRL-which I’m naming Carson Marie Dawn. I’m due in December, near Christmas.
I am dating a new guy who I love with all my heart. He loves my children. He said that with kids or which out kids, he loves me. (Even when I have a huge beach ball under my shirt when I get bigger). I couldn’t be happier with my life. I now I was really young to have kids as my friends would say, but in the end, I’m happy with my decision to keep my babies.
I am Proud to say I’m a Teen Mom at heart and love being a mom. Seeing my kids happy and smiling, asking silly. Mommy loves you Sklyer-Dylan-Carson with all my heart…
Yesterday, I sat on my bedroom floor for hours, wondering if I should do it or not.
I held the blade closer to my wrist, but I still wasn’t sure. I knew that I was doing this to end the problems that I could not at first, but Why was I doing this? I cut the tip of my fingers to see how much it was going to hurt. My left middle and index fingers bled while I sat there. I began to cut into my wrist, but it hurt too much. There had to be an easier way. I had pills, but I could not find them. I had nowhere in the house to hang myself or any high building to jump from. So I sat there. Another hour passed as I finally came to a conclusion.
I gave myself two options. 1. End it all and never have my problems solved. 2. Go on in life and become someone much bigger. More and more ideas came to mind. Maybe I shouldn’t give up on my dreams just because my parents don’t want me to make my own choices in life. In time, God will make everything better. I went one more day laying around wasting my life away, before I decided to get up and live life to the fullest. I have a changed attitude and a new personality! 🙂
I’m really proud of myself.
Since I am new to this website, I’m not really familiar with where to go, and what to click on. But I clicked on something and saw thousands of pictures of all your babies… I couldn’t help but cry. I want my baby and I think about it every day. I was tricked, and I made a stupid decision. I still can’t believe I had an abortion. I can’t even look or be around babies, little kids or pregnant women… It’s sad. I’m mad at my boyfriend for putting me through this, and tricking me. I thought it would make us stronger…but we are far from strong. I’m mad at myself…
My issues are sort of different. I’ve been in a relationship with the same man off and on for 10 years. We have a 7-year-old child. And we’ve lived together for the last three years. Everything is in our names together. We are what you consider “common law” married. I am not very young, and not in school. I am working full-time.
My home life hasn’t been very happy lately. I guess it comes with being with someone for so long. We had been fighting a lot and decided to separate. During one of our moments of making up, I ended up getting pregnant. We were careful, using condoms. But I still got pregnant. When I first suspected being pregnant, I took a pregnancy test. It was negative. But my cycle never came, so I took another, in fact, 3 tests, all positive. I just sat there and cried. Here I am, preparing to move out on my own, and this happens. I didn’t know what to do and I was afraid to tell him.
I talked to my family who were very happy for me and would support me in my decision. But when I finally told him, things went horrible. It was like I had stolen from him, or raped him. He didn’t understand how it could happen. If it was even his. How he didn’t want more children. How I was just trying to force him to stay with me, that he just wanted me out of his life! He didn’t care at all about me. My son didn’t understand all the fighting, or crying. All he wanted was an abortion and me gone.
Then, a couple of days later, he approached me, telling me about the abortion pill. At that point, I was tired of fighting and just agreed. I looked into it and thought it would be the right choice. My family were even encouraging me to do it so that I could be free of him and have a fresh start. I made my appointment and then went to the clinic ALONE. I was in such a rush to have it done, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. Turns out I was 6 weeks pregnant. The other women there looked scared or nervous. Everyone basically watched the floor, like they were ashamed, including me. Some women didn’t even know about the pill option. But the surgery was not for me. I took the pill, got the rest of the meds to take at home, then left.
Everything happened so fast after that. I came home to have my miscarriage. When I was really giving away a child. The next day, I took the other pills-then the bleeding and cramping started. My very first trip to the restroom, and there was the baby. All I could do was cry. And where was the father? Out celebrating! I never complained about the pain, nausea, or anything else. I didn’t have the right to.
I haven’t been the same since. I chose to end my baby’s life because I was scared to do things alone. Because people encouraged it, because I thought I didn’t have any other options. When that wasn’t the case, and I see that now. But it’s too late. I want my child back. And that will never happen. I have nightmares all the time. Even about losing my son. I did something I didn’t believe in and justified it. I guess that is my punishment. Every day, I hate myself more. Maybe one day, I will be blessed to become a parent again. And I will be just that!
OK, soo now I’m starting to feel excited. This website has really helped me out sooo much.
I really was confused at first. But now, I’m sooo totally excited. I know it’s going to be hard. But hey, I chose to DO IT with my baby daddy and now I’m going to have a baby. It’s not his or her fault. I need to do what’s right for me and my little angel.
Now, I have to start thinking bout names 😀
Dedicated to Sophia Avianna Mona, my baby.
When I knew I had you
It was hard for me to accept the truth
The truth that I’m having an angel soon
And the decision I made in order for you to bloom
I’m scared to be alone in giving you life
But I chose this just to make you mine
My heart sings of joy every time
Cause you know, you’re always on my mind
I never dreamed of having you,
though I dream of you, gorgeous baby, and it feels so true
You might come for an instant
No wonder why others wanted to separate us
But I refused to cause you’re important
Others may think its a mistake
Don’t mind them cause you’re mine and it can never be break
I love you, you know how much cause its too much
Both of us were excited to see you
To touch you and to live with you…
That’s how much we expect you to come out in this world
To see such a gorgeous baby that would be mine for the rest of my life
Hoping of you to have
There, it was a pain, I a rush
Thought it was not serious
Lately, I began to feel nervous
I cried when I felt something come out of me
I saw you. I held you in my palms just to be sure if its really you
Baby, you got your head
You’re bending and you’re dead… :'(
Do you really want to let go?
Cause it really hurts when you say so…
Thought I’d be facing my motherhood..
But you won’t let me so there I stood
Why baby? Why?
I don’t want you to die…
You didn’t even say goodbye…
If you want to, I will let u fly…
Baby goodbye…
I will be missing you…
I love you so much…
