Hi, I’m 18 years old, Me and my ex split up around 5 months ago, and ever since then, I just don’t know what to do with myself.
I could be myself ’round him, and he got on with my family, and I got on with his… We didn’t work out because his parents were too controlling. He was an only child, so it’s understandable… But I just feel like if we moved in together, things would be so much better… Because even though I try to deny it, I do love him. I know some of you may read this and think I’m stupid, but it’s how I feel. I would love to move in with him and have a family of our own. I work part-time and I wish I could afford a flat, but I can’t afford it :/ The past few nights, I’ve been aching for a child :/ I really don’t know why. I know my ex and I would make great parents, and he says it all the time, but I could never see us being happy unless we were living together… When we were together, I used to miss him every second we were away from each other, and he said he felt the same, but I don’t know, his actions didn’t match his words… I’m so sad about us breaking up, and I’ve been in and out of relationships since we split up, but they never work because me and my ex always seem to run into each other’s paths. In a way, it seems like it’s meant to be, but I don’t know what to do. Last year was such a horrible year, and it’s really starting to affect me… My mom and dad split up last January, In July, we lost our dog, then we split up, then I lost my Grandad, and I lost my best friend. Just before Christmas my brother beat me up…It’s starting to affect me really bad. I just sit up all night thinking and I often cry myself to sleep…
I’m hurt… Confused and in need of help.
I would have been the mother of a few-day-old newborn by now.
I lost my baby in May at 9 weeks…. 2 days after I found out that I was pregnant. It was ectopic. It would have been my 3rd baby. I still have the sonogram pictures; this ball of tissue, no heartbeat, sitting in my left tube, with my gynecologist and the sonographer talking about my baby, my BABY, as inhomogeneous tissue, whatever they were saying I suppose. My tube had started tearing so I was rushed into surgery. And when I woke up after the operation, I was told that the piece of my tube that the baby was in, was cut out, so now I cannot conceive a child from my left tube. This might sound bonkers, but I was happy that a piece of me had left with my baby. Sort of a way to say that we will always be together. It was God’s will… and destiny.
When I found out I was pregnant, I started crying. My husband’s company has gone into liquidation and thus rendered him jobless at the time. We live in a small place and I wondered where I would put another baby. But then the words of God made me make peace with it. As a Muslim, we believe that every child is an amaanat (trust) and comes with its own risq (sustenance) and I began to think that maybe this baby is God’s way of making life better for us, for we were in a rough patch at the time. Then I lost the baby. and once again my Faith in the One true Creator saved me. I did not go into a depression. In fact, when I think about the baby, I smile…
A week after the surgery, I had a dream. I dreamt that my gynecologist had put her hand into my tummy and brought out a perfectly formed but extremely tiny baby girl, and the doc said, she is perfect, but she won’t live long. I held her, and she passed away in my arms, smiling…That dream has been all the comfort I need. And it is promised in my religion, that even a 1day old miscarried child is waiting in the hereafter to be reunited with their parents in heaven and that the baby will testify for the parents and save them from punishment.
I will meet her again. I will get to hold her. I will get to kiss her soft skin. I will get to be her mother…. in a better place.
My baby girl, I love you. I think of you often, and I smile knowing that u are playing with the angels in heaven and waiting for me too. Till then my sweet angel…mwah!!!
About 5 days ago, I decided it was a good idea to get a pregnancy test considering the fact I was extremely late on my period. After three tests coming back positive, it was obvious in about 9 months, me and my boyfriend of four and a half years were about to become mommy and daddy!
Right now, it still feels kind of unreal because my belly still looks the same and I haven’t had any morning sickness yet. But tomorrow, I go into Planned Parenthood to get my vitamins and help info so I can set up my first doctor appointment 🙂 I am really scared about the fact that I’m going to be a 19-year-old mommy, but I’m sure the second I hold and see my baby, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
There is a lot I would like to write down to get off my chest right now but I don’t have time at the moment so I’m sure I will be back on in a few hours.
I’m 7 months pregnant. I found out the last week in June that I was 6 weeks pregnant.
It was a Sunday. I told my boyfriend of 3 months, and my brother’s best friend of 6+ years. I knew he wouldn’t be happy, but I knew he’d never leave me. I was actually so sure of it that when he did leave me three days later, I didn’t fully understand what had happened. Not only did I not see him for those three days after spending every day together for the entire 3 months we were dating, but he broke up with me through a text message while he was cheating on me with his ex.
I was devastated. I had never told a guy that I loved them before and I had told him which I know sounds stupid because we only dated for 3 months, but when I say I was so sure and confident in ‘us’, I mean it. For the first time in my life, I saw my whole life clearly laid out with this person for better or worse and that was OK with me. The next month, I was a wreck. The fact that I had to raise a child on my own and how he left me killed me day by day as I looked into the mirror and saw just how not OK with either fact I was. Then one day, it just clicked. I loved my baby, even if I had never wanted to have children before. This child was mine and mine alone, and all the confidence I had in my relationship with the father pooled over to our child.
I regulated my schedule. I cooked 3 meals a day at my house for my sister’s kids. I read baby books and looked up preschools and daycares. I was prepared to raise this baby on my own, and if one day he chose to come back and be a part of our child’s life, then he could do that as long as he knew that he couldn’t come in and out as he pleased. Instability like that is not good for kids. After that first month apart, we didn’t speak again until November. I got a random text one day demanding when he was going to get to see and hear about his baby and I ignored it. Then I got one from his mom saying we needed to work this out and I couldn’t refuse her. She will probably never get another grandchild and she loves children. No matter how stupid her son is, she’s a good woman and deserves this. Well, that meeting went well and the father wanted to spend time just hanging out playing black ops since we used to play modern warfare together (mostly for zombies). Well, I ended up spending the night but we didn’t sleep together though we did wake up in each other’s arms. After a few days of hanging out and another sleepover without sex, we started sleeping together again and he was telling me he loved me again and that he wanted to be here for the baby and me and do the right thing….Three days of him telling me this and I gave in and started telling him how much I love him and how much I had missed him.
For a month, we lived together and had a few fights that we worked out. Then out of nowhere, he wanted a night alone aka without me so he could have his buddies over so they could smoke and drink without me ruining his fun. I agreed because I figured he deserved a bit of a break after trying so hard and doing so well on such short notice. I’ve only seen him once since then and that was two and a half weeks ago. For the first week, I was understanding if not a little paranoid and overly attached to him. We got into more fights that he kept walking away from which is so easily done when we’re fighting through texts and IMs. I’m not convinced he loves me anymore. It was so easy to believe him when he told me what I wanted to hear. So a week ago, I sent him a message telling him exactly how I feel and that he doesn’t have to be with me to be the father, but if he wants to be with me, he has to do a lot better then he’s been doing in the trying department and making me feel secure in our relationship. We continued to speak regularly all week, but he was doing the same things and when I had finally gotten him into a real conversation where he was telling me things, he stops our conversation mid topic and says I’m getting into the car and can’t talk and drive (it’s 1am btw) and I don’t hear from him for 4 hours. And one of the first things he said to me was I’m tired and going to bed soon, just so you know. So I just said goodnight and the next night when I asked him about it, he just ignored me so I told him I was done waiting for him and I haven’t spoken to him in two days. Except once in a moment of weakness where I wanted to share something with him, knowing he’d appreciate it and hoping he’d respond, and to reply to his happy New Year that came a noon the next day…..
Now I’m stuck in love with him again. My sleeping cycle is all messed up, and since he never got the information for the hall from his father for the baby shower next month (Forgot to mention all week he was supposed to get the dates the hall was available and the address from his father so I could make out the baby shower invitations and even after seeing his father twice, he got nothing), I don’t know what I’m going to do because I fear I’m going to fall for him over and over again and things will never change. We’re going to ruin our child’s life if I can’t be strong enough to continue to tell him no, and I’m having a hard enough time trying not to talk to him at the moment, let alone denying him anything. It’s seriously pathetic and I know this, but I keep hoping in my head if I just ignore him long enough, maybe he’ll miss me and come back. At the same time, if he doesn’t, it’ll give me the time I need to get over him again. I love my baby more then him, but I can let myself be weak in front of him where I can’t with my baby.
I’m due in 2 months and I’m at a loss as to what to do…
Hey. I have been through a lot in life.
My parents… Never there… I have been with my grandma since I was almost one. She is very sick and I hate to say this, but probably doesn’t have much time until she goes home. Me and my fiancée are in deep love, but he still lives with his mom. We are only 15 though. My baby is due September 23 and it is really hard being how I lost our last baby. I am always depressed and blaming myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy about this new baby. I can’t wait for him/her to get here, but what did the last do to deserve to not make it? I keep thinking back trying to figure out what I did wrong with the last one and trying not to make the same mistakes…. I will die if I lose another baby. Everyone keeps telling me “Just stay positive.” I can only be positive for so long….. I ain’t the type to keep things bottled up inside….. I love this baby with all my heart and I am going to do everything I know to do to be able to control not being able to lose it. It can be hard, I know. I have three nieces and two nephews. I helped raise all of them. I know I can do it and I know my fiancée can, but does it have to hurt so bad? Will I ever get over it? I hope so. But for now, I am going to keep this little miracle as safe as possible and so will my fiancée!!
I will keep everyone updated. Thanks for your time! :))
So, in the beginning, him and I were great.
We got along and we didn’t fight, often. It felt like a dream come true…But now…Everything seems to be coming down with a crash! I am 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow ( Saturday, January 1st ) and it’s supposed to be another happy day in my pregnancy, but how can I be happy? What with everything that is going wrong in my relationship? This baby was planned and I know it seems foolish to plan a child at 19 years old, but I feel it’s what I long for. And the baby is not what we fight about. Well, not the fact she’s on her way at least. We fight now, because well…He is 25 years old and still doesn’t have a job. He claims he’ll get one when he’s ready and feels comfortable, but … life doesn’t wait till you’re ready. This baby will be here May 28th and that’s not too far away. But it’s far enough away that he still has time to get a job and keep it.
I’m so worried right now that our baby will not live the life she deserves. My fiance has ADHD and minor Autism, but that does not stop me from loving him at all. He is on medication to help control his anger and to help him concentrate on things he needs to do. Yet, the one thing he seems to lack in concentration…is me. We wake up around 8:30 am and when he wakes up, he goes for his smoke; comes back upstairs to the living room, and goes on the computer allllll day long. I ask him to help me out because I’ve been sick and he will – making me food and stuff – but when I ask to spend time with him, he’ll brush it off and say he’s busy. So I’ve stopped asking, because clearly it’s doing nothing to help anything. I lay in bed all day – because I’ve been ordered to by my OBGYN – and when I fall asleep and am out for the night, he THEN comes to bed … and it repeats every day. There are times where he’ll rub my back with oil for me … but that is once every two weeks. We don’t have sex – not that I care about that and not that I want it – because honestly, I don’t want our time together to only consist of sex. You know? And even if we do have sex … he goes right back to the computer afterward – we don’t spend time together at all afterward. On Wednesday – the one that just passed – we went to get an ultrasound done and planned to spend the afternoon together, watching movies and just…being a couple who is supposed to be in love. But it never happened. It never happens. Then I get upset, because of the fact that I’m sitting here alone…unable to work…or do anything really…Unable to move around and clean up and stuff because it hurts, and he sits on his butt all day, sitting on the computer doing crap that isn’t as important as supporting his fiancé and future child. We are on ODSP and only make enough to pay the rent and the bills. Any kind of money that he makes, he spends on stuff we don’t need. I get upset…because when I was working, we were bringing in an extra $400 a month which honestly, went a LONG way. Now .. it’s his time. I worked for four months, sick and dealing with three hyper kids…and I would NEVER give that up. But because I had to, he now needs to step up and start working for me.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m depressed and don’t know how to get outta it. Any suggestions?
More to come…
