Made a mistake

Alright, so I know that people make mistakes. But are they not supposed to learn from them?

I always thought I did good by not repeating the same mistake twice. I always learned. I have made this mistake once before but I didn’t end up dealing with it. I had unprotected sex once before and I did it because I believed the guy loved me and we would be together forever. Let me tell you, that was a mistake. I recently did the same thing again. Because once again, I thought I would be with the guy forever. Boy, was I wrong. I have never been so upset with myself as to the day he left me. So, he left and we were done. Then a couple weeks ago, my period came. 3 days late and it was very light and only stayed for two days. I have never had a delayed period and it’s always normal-never light, and it always lasts 5-6 days. I started birth control the day after I had unprotected sex…and am now wondering if I’m pregnant. I know it’s not the birth control because I was on it once before and nothing happened. I’ve been crampy and nauseous for the past two weeks. I’m getting even more nervous since my period mishap.

I don’t know what to do…And if I am how do I tell the dad? What about my family?? :'(

Pressure

So, being a teenager is hard. I think everyone on here is experiencing or has experienced the fake friends, the bullying, and the other unfortunate things that any teenage girl has to deal with throughout high school at one point or another.

I, however, am really lucky. Not that I haven’t been teased, or put on the spot, but the nicer half of my graduating class (yes, all 25 of them) threw me a surprise baby shower. It was incredible to see so many people, some close friends, some I hadn’t talked to in months, all come together to support my boyfriend and me, and to celebrate my pregnancy and our little boy.

The older generation of my town, on the other hand, aren’t so nice. The dirty looks, like I’m a terrible person; criticizing my every move as if they could do a better job. I am a “straight-A” student, always thriving in school and attending classes. Why am I suddenly a bad person for making one slip-up? Yeah, it’s going to be life-changing. But when they ask, “Are you dropping out of school?” or “How will you provide for it?”, you can’t help but feel underestimated and unappreciated. Another one of my favorites is “When are you getting married?”. The pressure to meet everyone else’s standard is ridiculous.

I am almost eight months pregnant and happy to say that my baby boy is thriving in my womb. He has been growing steadily and already has every ounce of love that I am capable of giving him. I just want to say, that I’m so proud to be able to call myself a “mom” or sorts. And that I’m proud of everyone of you that decide to keep your babies as well. Motherhood isn’t a time to grieve. It’s a time to learn and experience the miracle of life that only you can provide to that baby.

Best of luck to all of you other teenage mom’s 🙂

Pro-Life

I am seventeen years old, and five months ago I was faced with the decision of abortion, adoption, or continuing an unplanned pregnancy at 16.

I was taking the birth control pill, but despite our “protection plan”, my boyfriend and I took a pregnancy test in early February after my second period was missed. It came back positive, and we wasted no time telling our parents. I actually wrote my parents a letter and gave it to them before school. I explained our situation, told them the results, and clearly defined my wants and beliefs as far as choosing abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. I explained that I am pro-life, and want to take responsibility for our actions, and to keep the baby. He also did the same thing, expressing his similar beliefs. Later that day, I returned home from school, and my parents were waiting to talk to me. They told me that having the baby, either way, was my choice, and expressed their concerns with schooling, and leading a normal 16/17 year old’s life. The choice to keep my baby was never second-guessed.

Six months later, I am now almost eight months pregnant, and I couldn’t be happier with our decision. My boyfriend has stuck by me through everything. We go to weekly prenatal classes,  clinics, and doctor’s appointments as well as scheduled ultrasounds to ensure that our baby is healthy. As of Wednesday, July 13th, we were 31 weeks and five days pregnant, putting us at 33 weeks today. The countdown is on, and we’re ecstatic about having a little boy. I wouldn’t change my decision to keep our baby for the entire world. This experience in itself has been very fulfilling. Schooling in September will be difficult, as we are due three days after regular classes begin, but my teachers and classmates have been very supportive and have agreed to help me as much as possible to make my first semester of my senior year the best that it can be while trying to raise a newborn. I am still living with my parents, who have been more than supportive through everything.

I wish all other teen moms, and other pregnant girls and women on this site and around the world the best of luck. Abortion is never the answer. If you think about it, your fetus has tiny little fingernails after only eleven weeks of being in your uterus. It’s our job to protect and love them as much as possible while they’re so tiny and vulnerable. Abortion is a scarring, unforgettable experience from what I have heard and read. I hope that our story inspires you to keep your babies, and become the best mothers you can become.

Because for nine long months, the only person your baby relies on is you, and it’s your job to keep him or her safe 🙂

The unspoken.

Being a young mother has its hardships and its perks, but what nobody ever really talks about, is the pressure of not looking like your peers afterwards. Of losing the baby fat, the stretch marks, and the well-known no longer perky boobs if you breastfed. It’s something that could drive you plain mad if you let it, a reminder of it everyday as you get dressed everyday. Or when somebody invites you to go swimming, you feel like the only way you can go is to wear a shirt to cover everything up. Well, that’s how I feel some days anyway. I know this probably sounds shallow or maybe even vain, but it’s just a sad thing to me that makes me wonder if this would have ever happened if I had waited till I was older and my body was more ready for this? Or if I was more responsible and took better care of my body.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my son with all my heart and could never bear to lose him, but as I watch all my friends experience life, it makes me wonder if I’m missing out or not? And what would I be doing if I had waited, but I guess we just need to live life as it is, and not dwell on the past. Let depression be pushed away by the love of our child and the love we have for them, and remember to be strong for them and to move on with life. Cherish every day that your baby is happy and healthy, and don’t take anything for granted, because it can all be taken away in a second.

I’m Back

I had my abortion on December 1st. I joined the site and was actively a part of it for a few weeks, but then I believed I was beginning to heal, so I stopped coming back.

Literally only a few days after my abortion, my sister-in-law told us she was pregnant. I talked with a few people about it, including my sister and friends, and we talked about the possibility of reincarnation. Maybe after my baby left me, it found her. If I had stayed pregnant, I would have been having the baby in July, this month. My sister was supposed to be having her baby in September, but he made an early arrival on July 10th at 2:35 in the afternoon. I cannot help, but think that maybe I and this baby will have a special relationship. I don’t know, thinking like that kinda scares me a bit.
I have been thinking about my baby all month. I can’t believe how quickly July came. I thought the pain would go away, but I cannot forget about the life that I took away, and I hope I never will. In April I got a tattoo that says, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always.” I got the tattoo for many reasons, including my baby who I will never forget about.

Hoping for the best for all the girls. <3

One thing about life is, it goes on…

So although my story isn’t complete and things can seem somewhat hazy, life is as always stressful.

After what happened with me, my life has gone downhill. Before I knew exactly who I was and where I wanted to be, I had a path to follow and the steps and goals were thought out and precise. Now everything is unfamiliar and I’m having great difficulty figuring out what I want from ‘my life’. I’m sure everyone has had that moment when things have gone off track and a couple of hours analyzing and having a conversation with yourself helps and puts everything back into perspective. Not me, my life was completely thrown, shaken, turned upside down, and then handed back to me, all in the space of the thirty seconds it took to take the pill. It is strange how one decision can completely change the route your life will take. The problem is I don’t know what the new route is.

Everyone says stuff happens for a reason but the reason hasn’t yet become apparent. Can anyone relate?