Yeah, you guys, I’m back, and I have major news that I know all of my friends out here want to know.
Well I held my breath and I told my boyfriend. . . . . To all those who have been chatting with me, you know that statement itself deserves a pause. Now let’s take a moment of silence. . . . . . . . Now, back to the story, OK, I told him and we had another argument. He wanted to know how long I had been waiting to tell him and I told him. Then he asked me where I was moving to after I graduated this month. And if I haven’t told you all, I’m moving to HAWAII!! Yes, that’s right, Hawaii to attend a 4-year college. And he’s moving to Florida, like I care. (((((((( SORRY YOU GUYS. I’M KINDA BITTER RIGHT NOW.))))))))) But anyway, the reason why we had another argument was because he doesn’t want to be a real man and talk about the issue of the matter, so I told him don’t worry about it. I’ll just garnish his check (((LMAO<LOL))) WAS THAT FUNNY OR WHAT??? What’s even more funny is that I was serious. Do you think I was WRONG? I mean, if he doesn’t want to be a man on his own and be there for his child, that’s OK. I don’t have a problem with being mommie and daddy. I just want his financial support. . . you know what I mean. . .
What do you think, COMMENT.
I’m 22 years old. I’m 7 weeks pregnant with my first child. I’m a senior in college with one more semester to go and a possible job after I graduate. This pregnancy is supposed to be the greatest moment of my life, but nothing seems to be going right.
My boyfriend, who I’ve been with for 4 years, says he wants nothing to do with a baby. I love him so much and this is tearing me apart. He says he can’t understand why I’m willing to just throw away what we have and everything I’ve worked for. He doesn’t understand that I can’t kill my child, although I did think of it. And every now and then, I go back to that thought because I don’t want him to leave me. I’m afraid of being a single mother. Even though my closest friends who I’ve told say they’ll be there for me, it’s nothing compared to the support he could provide as the father of my child.
I can’t believe he’s acting like this. He tells me that he loves me every day, but ever since I told him I was pregnant, he’s been in his own world. He refuses to even acknowledge the baby. My friends say that I should just leave him alone and he’s no good if when I need him the most, he can’t be a man and stand up to his responsibilities.
I’m crying as I write this, I’ve been crying everyday since I found out I was pregnant. I haven’t told my parents as yet because I know my mom’s going to lose it. I feel so alone and my heart is breaking. I try to avoid stress because I’m clinically depressed and since I got pregnant, I’ve had to come off the meds because I think they’ll harm the
baby. I just don’t know how to get my boyfriend’s support. He said I’ve messed the plan up. Which was to graduate, get married, and have 2 years before we had kids.
I feel awful. This is all my fault. I have no idea what to do.
So a little bit of an update…I finally found a (very very VERY tiny) flat for me and my husband-to-be… Words cannot express the pick-and-mix of emotions I am feeling right now. All good, mind you, but just crazy.
I’m someone who has never really had to be truly independent of my Mum. And while there were times when I stayed at my fiancé’s place when he moved really far away (sometimes for so long my mum ended up yelling at me to come home and get my ass back in school-but that’s another story! (LOL!) That safety net was always there whenever I needed to come home cause things weren’t going perfect. It’s so weird because I have been wanting this for so long but now, it’s definitely happening in a few short weeks (Feb 1st, to be precise). It almost feels like some sort of death… Just like when I left the safety net of my secondary school. Even though it was utter hell for me, I was scared when the time came that I had been yearning for so much because it’s the unknown. It’s not something you can switch your telly over to E!entertaniment and see a preview of.
It’s me and him now. No parents, no handouts, no safety nets. I’m so excited to start my life with my fiancé and incredibly intrigued as to how our lives will shape out and how we will deal with our shared life together. But there was a little droplet of intense, anxious and unrelenting fear inside of me. Especially because us moving in together commences the begging of ‘The Mission’. We won’t have to worry about getting caught, being quiet, waiting till someone’s asleep, finding hotel rooms or any of the other obstacles that have prevented us actively trying to get me with child. It’s just us. I don’t know why that scares me so much but I guess it’s because it’s actually real. Before we knew that, we were unprotected but because we weren’t able to ‘try’ in the true sense of baby-making lingo it wasn’t really a solid fixture in our minds. Almost a blaze’ notion in our young heads.
But now real-life begins. In the next couple of months we’ll probably be sharing news of our achievement and spending hours glowing over the fact we are going to be parents in 9 short months from then. But I’m not stupid. I know what an enormous life changing and amazing thing we’re about to do…stepping into adulthood and shaking off our final inches of molly-cuddle fluff . We are our own family now. And even before baby arrives or even is made we are all we have. Sure when the dirt hits the fan and and we are down to the bone we’ll always have our extended families, mothers, fathers, brothers, etc., etc., but, they will be our extended families, an extension of me and him. Family outside our own.
So anyway, being 19 (if your counting years gone by since my birth), young, smart and having never done this before I wanted to scour the internet for wise advice from those who have done this already. As I had just finished my daily check into SUG I was more looking towards things such as articles, blogs, and Yahoo Answers. I wanted to especially find advice given to people doing this or who have done this at the same age as me. Babies and all.
Nothing but nothing but pure negativity…
What is it with this supposedly advanced society we live in ?? It seems that to frolic around sharing bodily fluids and unspeakable actions with whoever is wearing the latest D&G suit or has the cutest dimples or simply takes your fancy on that particular night of nights is more acceptable and encouraged than finding a life partner, sticking with him/her, getting married, having babies and working hard to fulfill your promises of till Death us do part. Now I am not one to advise anyone to rush and marry the first seemingly suitable suitor. But seriously is it so bad that a young woman of 19 and a young man of 21 should find their soulmate, fall truly, madly, deeply and irreversibly in love and love each other till their dying day? Is it so bad if these two young people instead of holding off 15 years to allow them to come to an age where the world sees it fit for them to be capable of undying love, these two people decide to get married and create a family of their own? Is it so wrong that these two young people are not at the very tip top of their carer ladders when they decide to create life? Who decided that children and marriage is an end to your life? Who said that young people can not be capable of being good parents and raising beautiful, healthy, loving, smart, intelligent children that because assets to their society? Who said so? Who said that because I’m not 35, I’m going to be a bad mother or because we’re young, the state will have to pay for our babies?
I got so tired of hearing such horrid negativity and came back home to SUG…in this sea of hideous doubt…SUG was the positive light I needed.
…Special thank you to the SUG team and MAJOR props to the young couples and young parents who smile in the face of adversity….(yeh, I know it’s hard but never is it impossible!)
PEACE OUT! 😀
I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago and thought that abortion was the only option… until I found this site. Now I don’t know what I should do. I’ve always been against abortion, but I guess it’s different when you’re actually put in the situation. I have a totally supportive boyfriend who said will stand by me all the way no matter what decision I make but I’ve only been with the guy for 3 months. We’re in a difficult situation as my boyfriend is Muslim and if his family found out, they would blow a fuse.
Now, I need to make a decision about what I want to do, and I need to do it quick. I have my first consultation at the hospital on Friday. Since finding this site and reading some of the stories, it has become clear that there’s an awful lot of consequences that come with an abortion, and I don’t think I’m goin to be able to handle them emotionally. I haven’t told my family that I am pregnant; only my boyfriend and a close friend know about it.
I now know that I’m going the wrong way about this and need tell the people closest to me maybe it won’t seem as hard if I know that I have the support of my family.
I am so happy now that I can actually make a family with my boyfriend! I am 19 years old and my bf is 30. I love him so much.
We have now started our family and things are finally going right. I just now need to get a job! I am happy but still nervous inside, but I know that everything is going to be alright…
p.s.- I am new 2 this site.
Sorry to everyone who read my blog.
It might have come off as bad, but I’m not necessarily going to have an abortion but I’m just scared coz we’ve only been together for a month and its not that he’s too young, just don’t think he is ready coz he is still at uni and I guess I just feel bad about telling him. But I’m going to go and talk to my GP. I don’t want to “murder” my unborn baby but I’m also worried if I say I’m pregnant, he might run a mile.
I don’t know what to do
