Well, I’m 17, almost 18, and my bf is 16, and we have been talking about having a baby.
In a way, I want one, but in another way, I don’t cause I am scared that he says he does now, but once the baby gets here, he will change his mind cause he is younger than me. Even though I love him, and have wanted to have children forever! Don’t get me wrong. I love him with all my heart, but men fall out of love so easily.
I really just don’t know what to do. Cause I want a baby but idk if it’s the right thing to do right now. I really want a baby and if I do get pregnant and I have a girl, we’re naming her Moriah Marie. And if I have a boy, Daniel Sidney. I really want a baby. I have thought about it for almost a month. He even talked to his parents about it and they told us both to just sit down and talk about it. And everytime we do it makes me want one even more than before. They said they would support our decision whether we have one or decide to wait!
Another problem is that I have been sexually active before and he has not. I know that to guys losing their virginity isn’t that big of a deal, but to girls, it is. It’s like a part of you is gone and I just want him to be as ready for this as I am!
So my year this year has been one huge rollercoaster…
I got pregnant and was so excited yet scared. I was excited because I had a little wonder growing inside of me and it changes everything. Scared because my life was taking a big step and I didn’t know if I was ready for this step. When I started to tell people, it was either positive comments or cruel ones like “Why don’t you abort?” “You just screwed up your life.” etc… It hurts but didn’t phase me too bad. I mean I couldn’t abort because that’s killing someone that I helped create. Someone that should be able to live. I didn’t feel like I “screwed up my life” because this little person inside me would love me unconditionally forever and it was a step and a learning challenge in life. So throughout the months of my pregnancy, I was losing friends and I slowly started to feel bad, but I always had one good friend helping me out and telling me it’ll work out so I just tried to keep my head high.
So by August, I got kidney stones and found out my baby wasn’t doing so well inside me cuz he and the placenta weren’t working together. So I had to get him out by emergency C-section. I brought this beautiful baby boy. The first time I saw him, I knew I was in love. He had so much of my heart by just looking at me, but they told me he needed to gain weight before he came home. I was ok with that… But then the worst day of my life came along. Monday, they told me if he kept up the good work, I’d have him home by the weekend or sometime next week… Well, the next day, they phoned me in the morning to tell me he had gotten sick and might have gotten the flu or an infection… So I wasn’t too worried till I got to the Orillia hospital and he wasn’t in his bed… They told me it started to get worse and when they brought us to this other room where he was, his tummy was blue. Then one thing led to another, and he was being shipped off to sick kids.
It was the worst feeling in the world to see him cry and not be able to hold him and it was the worst feeling to hear that he was going to sick kids. I know he’s better there, but it was hard to have him in Orillia, let alone Toronto… So we drove to sick kids and they started telling me he got something that some premies and some newborns get that’s called N.E.C. (Necrotizing Enterocolitis) and this is an infection of the intestines that causes inflammation, interior abdominal damage, and tissue death. And that meant they would probably have to do surgery… The next day, I got the call that he needed surgery… It was the scariest and most horrible moment of my life to see my baby so helpless. I wanted to be in his spot to take away all his pain…But it doesn’t work like that, so instead I couldn’t stop crying and holding his little hand till they brought him to the OR.
So waiting for them to take him to the OR. Me and my boyfriend had to stand and wait for the worst to happen. They came and explained how the surgery would work and what would happen. They also had to prepare us for the worst. They told us if there was too much dead tissue to save or whatever, it would pretty much kill him. So hearing this news made me cry hysterically. I couldn’t help but look at his helpless body and feel for him. He wasn’t even two weeks old and he was going through hell and back and might die? How is this fair? It started to get worse when my boyfriend started to cry because it meant it was really serious, but it also made me feel better that I wasn’t the only one crying. So finally they brought him to the OR and we said our good lucks to him through our sobs. Waiting for the surgery to end was the most nerve-racking thing to do. I was very glad that my boyfriend was there with me…
When they told us the surgery went well, we were both so relieved but they told us his recovery will be rough… So the next day when we saw him, he was on more machines and swollen. He had gained 6 pounds in water weight overnight. Again, I couldn’t help but cry because I wanted to just take all the pain and make him better or be in his position so he didn’t have to go through it. But he’s slowly getting better and doing well. I’m hoping it keeps it up, but sick kids’ hospital is an amazing hospital and I am grateful they are taking care of my child and helping him get better. Through all this I went through and am still going through crying fits where I don’t understand why this is happening to my little one. I go through periods where I’m so angry at so many things and people, including myself. I blame myself for this happening. I know I couldn’t have stopped it from happening and it’s not my fault, but it feels like it is. And everytime the nurses or doctors say it happened because he was premature stabs me in the heart because I feel like it’s my fault. He’s getting this because it was my stupid body that made him premature. I also feel like he’s not mine. I feel like he’s partially mine and he’s more the nurses and doctors and it upsets me. I’ve only gotten to hold him 4 times in his whole little life and it’s upsetting me… I hate that I can’t hold him or help him in anyway… 🙁
These are just some shout-outs to people if I didn’t put you on here, it’s not because I don’t cherish our friendship, it’s because I’m lazy and don’t wanna type too much more haha or I think you won’t read it, haha.
Hi, I’m 21 years old.
I am now pregnant with my 3rd child and happily married with my husband of 6 years. I’ve been reading the stories on this site and understand these situations and want to thank Becky for her support. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared and not ready to be a mom. I never thought about an abortion, but figured since I was an athlete, I would keep with my sports and hope it would disappear. But it did not turn out that way. Instead, I got sick and was sent to the hospital with my coach, and soon everyone found out I was already 4 months pregnant. I was embarrassed but I figured why should I be? It was with the person I loved the most, my baby Jose. Five months later, I gave birth to my baby girl Yessenia, who looks just like her daddy, Jose. If it wasn’t for my husband, who still stands by my side since day 1, it would have been difficult.
I Love You, babe!
I know girls that it can be a scary thing, but if you can find the support and love, you can do it! Remember, a Baby is an Angel and gift from God!
I tried getting pregnant at 14 but stopped when I broke up with my boyfriend.
From then on, I had a few scares. I went through a hard time but got back on my feet. I never did start trying again but I am now pregnant. My 16th birthday was 8-27. I’m not ashamed at all, it’s a part of life. The thought of abortion never even came to mind. My mom knows and although she doesn’t like it, she is there. As for symptoms; My back hurts, My boobs are sore, I have had cramps (from my uterus stretching), I’m tired and so emotional (I’m not the type to cry) but I have cried for almost everything. I’m about 5 weeks and 4 days. I’m hoping for a little girl but I will be happy with a healthy baby.
The countdown starts with about 35 weeks to go!
I’ve just been sitting here, going through all these over the last two days and it makes me feel so much better to know I’m not alone.
I’m 15, almost 16, and am pregnant. I was two weeks late so I took a test and now I’m pregnant. I’ve made up my mind, and abortion is the route I’m going to take. I’ve just spent the summer doing summer school to catch up so I can start school next week and start my life again. Through middle school, I fell apart and I’ve finally got my life back together, and now I find out I’m pregnant. It’s just not a time in my life where I have the love to care for a baby or the time.
I feel horrible having an abortion but it’s best for the would of been child and for me. I’m just extremely scared to have an abortion and since many of you have I just want to know more about it. What happens? What does it feel like? Does it hurt? I heard also in the future, it can prevent you from having children, and I know one day in my future I do want to be a mother and I don’t want this abortion to get in the way of that. So I just wanted your experiences with abortion.
Thank you.
I am the baby of the family and the only girl. I had my first boyfriend at 12, nothing serious, but I did learn how to kiss. My brothers were very protective of me so my family thought I was safe. I’ve always been a pretty good girl, not getting into much trouble.
I met my ‘first love’ when I was 13. He lived in the next town, school started and we went our separate ways. I turned 14 and went to high school, met another boy, and had a ‘serious’ relationship. I was still a good girl. I think that’s why he broke up with me. When I was 15, I met a 19-year-old boy. He was cool and he liked ME, of all people, ME… I started ditching class and leaving school with him. I let him go a little farther than I did the other boyfriends. One day, he drove me home, sweet-talked me into my room, and things got out of hand. I tried to push him off, tried biting him -but he only told me ‘Yeah, that’s it, bite me if that helps you’- I kept yelling no, stop. He didn’t- he raped me.
That was basically the last I saw of him. After that, I thought I had to find someone who loved me. I got back with the boy I met when I was 13 on and off again for a few years. When I was 16, I got pregnant. I turned 17 and had a little boy. We broke up 2 months after. He went to jail. I moved to another town, met another boy- still looking for someone to love me, to fill that void- met another boy, fell in love, got pregnant, had a miscarriage. He left me because he blamed me for the death of our baby- then claimed that he wasn’t sure it was even his! There were others in between that I didn’t mention, too many to go into, we’d be here all day.. Baby’s daddy got out of jail and came to stay with me. I got pregnant that day, 3/12. I gave birth to a little boy 6 weeks early, in November. He had found out about the guy I was seeing while he was in jail and claimed that the baby wasn’t his. That relationship ended.
I continued to look for love, met another guy or two or three. I moved back to my parents’ house. One day, some friends of mine came to pick me up and took me to lunch. When we got home, there was a note from the guy who cooked our food with his number to call him. Still seeking love, I called him. 3 months later, I was pregnant. He said clear as can be “I don’t want to be a dad, I’m too young. I’m not going to stay with you. Have an abortion. If you don’t, I’m not staying with you either. You’re just another girl to me.” My mom found out and talked me into having an abortion, the conversation I don’t remember, it’s something I have blocked out.
Well, I went through with it. It was horrible, We were herded into a room with about 8 dressing rooms, cold, white. It was like waiting your turn at the meat counter. They wheeled me in. I saw all the machines and a big blue door on the other side of the room. Next thing I remember is the doctor telling me to take a deep breath, then I’m waking up in a cold room full of girls- some crying, some sobbing, some screaming, more than one asking ‘what did I do?’- the girl next to me was throwing up violently. I woke up and started sobbing, telling the nurse I wanted out of there and I needed someone to hold me. For a brief moment, she was human, and did hold me, but it seemed she had to shake it off before she let it get to her.
My mom pulled up to the back, and drove me home, where my neighbor was watching my son. My mom put me on the couch, gave me some Tylenol, and let me sleep. When I woke up crying from the pain, she’d say “oh well, get over it- your problem could be worse” I was in awful pain the next two days and bleeding chunks. We called the doctor. He told us to meet him at the clinic at 10 pm through the back door. They did an ultrasound and found out that they had left ’tissue’ behind, and if I didn’t pass anything, had a fever, or the pain got worse, to go to the hospital- then with a sneer on his face said, ‘You’re a big girl now, go home and ride it out’
Time passed, I healed. I found another boyfriend, and another, and in between, messed around with ‘friend’s’ boyfriend because someone was going to love me for me.
August, I was at the County Fair with my friend looking for a group of boys we were supposed to be meeting up with. As I was walking, I literally ran into this guy I had met a few years earlier. He was the friend of the boy that I got pregnant by and had a miscarriage- He used to come by the house and pick him up to go fishing, leaving me there by myself for hours. He was also the brother of my friend’s boyfriend. He was with his friends. I knew they were just out getting numbers, but I gave him mine. 2 weeks later, I’m in my apartment, packing to move back with my parents and the phone rings, it was him. We got together, fell in love, and moved in together. I had found love so I stopped looking for it, but I was now looking for something to cover the shame of my promiscuous life- I turned to drugs. I also was trying to block out the shame of my abortion. He knew everything about my life, I skipped details about my sexcapades because he asked me to.
We had rough times, fights- huge nasty ones. He would leave for days at a time, but he was raising my boys as his own. 2 years into our relationship, we got pregnant and had a baby boy, then we had a miscarriage right after that. More rough years, more drugs- 3 years later, another baby, our little girl. She was born with spina bifida. My moms says ‘we are being punished for what we did,’ meaning the abortion. I lived with the guilt of that and the guilt of not knowing if my drug use caused her illness. She was 3 and we almost lost her to kidney failure. A year later, an old friend popped back into my life and started taking my kids to church. I was happy for that, that meant I could get as high as I wanted without having to hide it from them. A year later, she got sick again, the children’s pastor went to visit her at the hospital. I went to her church out of respect and thanks, and have not left since.
That was 7 years ago. I found healing. I was able to forgive myself and realized that my daughter’s illness was not a punishment. I found healing from the torment of the abortion and God has restored my life and that of my family. We now serve the Lord and work with teenagers, guiding them and lending support when we can. My oldest son is now 20 and living on his own, my 2nd son is 16 and a senior, my 3rd son just started high school… and my daughter is 11 and is a living miracle.. Oh.. and the love of my life and I got married.
There is more, but I will elaborate in other blogs… Sorry this was so long. If you read this, thank you for finding my story interesting enough to stick through it. I hope there is some bit of hope for you in it.
God’s blessings.
