Elisabeth22

Hey! I imagine this feeling is quite scary. No matter what method is used to prevent pregnancy, someone may have another plan for us. Your symptoms do fit those of women who are pregnant. You already display an ability to trust yourself and your body by expressing that you feel different and are worried. So as Meg suggested, definitely find your local pregnancy center through optionline.org and they’ll help you with the first step of taking a free pregnancy test. Then I’m sure there are plenty of people there that will offer you support by talking with you about what you are experiencing and what steps you can take, depending on the outcome of the test.

Good luck and please come back if you need anything. And to let us know how you are doing!

Blessings,
Elisabeth

rsmith,

Sounds like you’re on the right track. Those symptoms are the type one may feel when pregnant, but they can mean other things too. You can always take an at home pregnancy test or check out optionline.org and you can find a center that will offer free tests and plenty of helpful people to talk with. But keeping that appt. with your OBGYN is the best thing you could do. So good luck and keep us updated!

Blessings,

Elisabeth

Hey there!

I know so many women know exactly how you are feeling – even being fearful to take a test. It’s understandable that you would want to just put it off and hope it’s another possibility. I remember putting off taking a test for almost 3 weeks, even though I knew I was pregnant. I’m glad you found this site though – we’ll be here to support you no matter the outcome.

The symptoms you mentioned could be related to a pregnancy, but they could also be related to a number of other things as well. At times, after having unprotected sex and then having your cycle be late…this can lead to symptoms of anxiety, which can mimic those of pregnancy. But the cause of what you’re feeling will remain unknown until you find out for sure. It’s scary not knowing; it’s scary buying the test, taking it, waiting…all of it can be scary. But in the end, you have to know for your sake and for the sake of the baby, if it is positive.

http://www.optionline.org is a great website you can go to find a pregnancy center in your area and you can also just call them to ask anything that you’re feeling concerned about. Any of the centers in your area will offer free tests and someone you can talk to.

Please let us know how you are doing and if there is anything else we can help you with! We’ll be thinking of you!

Elisabeth

Hey Shub,

I’ll do my best to keep this short and sweet, but you had a lot of good things to say and there’s a few things I wanted to express with love and respect…and if any of this hits you, I’ll be here…as will all of us. And if doesn’t, know there’s many people thinking of you, whether we know you or not.

First, I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to apologize to us for anything – there are so many girls who are thinking and feeling about and/or make the decision to abort. I personally have no interest in condemning or judging you. All of us have done things that others would deem ‘terrible’ or ‘unforgivable.’ All of us. So know the only way you’re ‘being looked at’ on here is with compassion, understanding, and respect.

Your dreams matter. School matters, traveling and seeing this beautiful world matters. Those things don’t hold any less importance b/c of the situation you’re in. I personally don’t think you’re a bad person for still wanting all that. You’re young – and when you’re young, our dreams are everything. And just like our relationships, tastes in music, values, etc change, our dreams can too. And that’s whats so amazing about dreams – even if we have to take a pit stop, they’re not going anywhere. They’re still right there with us.

Not knowing you – I don’t want to have any preconceived ideas about you, but I noticed you mentioned a few times that you care very much about how you are seen by others. Whether it’s others finding out you’re pregnant or judging you if you decide to have an abortion. I’m a woman…I care. Anyone that doesn’t admit to worrying at some point in their lives about what others think about them, probably aren’t so trustworthy. But what I have personally found to be the most life altering judgement – is what I think of myself. What I see in the mirror – whether I like myself one day, or despise myself the other – that is far more deeper a pain or triumph to endure than worrying about what others THINK they see in you.

You may find a woman who will tell you abortion ‘is no big thing.’ And you will absolutely find that in the clinics that perform them. And you will find many women on here who will say the opposite. That abortion was life altering in a way that words could never suffice. And you’ll find women who had their children and think back to the moment like you are in now – and could not imagine their life without their little one. You will find people on both sides and that’s partly why you’re here and feeling the way you are. How can you know who to trust when it seems like ‘both sides’ have their agendas? I can understand that. I encourage you to take your time to think and FEEL about this. Our hearts can mislead us, but you won’t find too many women in this world that feel their heart misled them when they hold a child they created. Seek the support you said you wanted. There are many people on here and Meg gave you some great links.

So, I’ll just end with this, because my life was forever changed by someone who was in such a similar situation to the one you are in.
I met my most dearest and loved friend through a mutual friend in college – first semester of her sophomore year. She became pregnant and had many dreams, hopes, and enormous talent that could take her so far. She also didn’t want to raise a child with the father, nor did she feel financially equipped to care for her little girl. And she had absolutely no family support. She was afraid to meet me in person, so we spoke on the internet the day before her abortion was scheduled…we talked, I prayed, and I hoped I had made some type of impact. But ultimately, she would either go to the appt. or not. And I heard through our mutual friend that she had gone to the appt. So, I thought that’d be it, and I would just continue to pray for her and hope she was ok.

A few days later, even after knowing I was one of those ‘pro-life freaks,’ as I was lovingly called in school, 🙂 she contacted me out of the blue. And we met in person…and she sat across from me – someone she had met for the first time – crying, and saying that even while laying on the table listening to what the doctor was doing, she was regretting every moment of it in the deepest way. She was desperate to be able to say that and not feel judged. And before her abortion, I did what so many of us are told to do – give out pamphlets, websites, ect. But when we met, she told me she couldn’t look at them. She opened one about fetal development, saw a picture of her child at the age she was at the time, closed it, put it back in the envelope I had mailed her and put in her drawer. And didn’t open it again for a very long time.

She still has that envelope. And she said she wishes everyday since, that she would have just looked and accepted that information in her heart. 10 years later, and after some of the deepest pain I’ve seen someone go through, she’s the most remarkable person I’ve ever known. We talk about those times when she needs to, and every year on March 19, we remember Elisabeth Rose (the name she chose for her little angel).

Everyone has their story – and your story matters. What yours will be regarding this decision is up to you. Just make it one that 10 years down the road, when all of the fear and confusion has passed of this moment, it’s a story you’ll be proud to share. In 10 years, you could either be braiding your daughters hair and talking about boys (if she’s a girl of course), or you could be remembering the day of that appointment.

If you have any questions about ANYTHING, whatever it is, please don’t be afraid to ask. I’m willing to talk with you about anything. Whatever happens, you’ll just want to know you had every bit of information you could have had. I know that for sure, Shub.

Blessings to you!

Elisabeth
elisabeth@standupgirl.com

Hey MotherofTwo! Just checking in to see how you are doing? I know it’s been a few weeks, but wanted to see where you are with things. If you’re still trying to figure things out, we’re here for you, and if you have already made a decision-whatever it is, we’re here for you as well! I imagine things haven’t been easy these past few weeks – I know it’s scary being faced with another pregnancy, and add to that being fearful of disappointing your family – I’m sure it’s been very hard. Update us if you can. Blessings to you!