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[b] Well, I chose to continue my pregnancy and have my child as a single mother. I gave birth to my son just two months after I turned 18, with no support from my son’s father at all. Any man that would ask you to kill your own child is no man. Life for me is completely different than I ever pictured it to be. I never expected myself to be a teen mom. My family had a very hard time accepting the fact that I was going to have a baby and I was not going to get rid of my child by abortion or adoption. I decided while pregnant with him that I was NOT going to be any more of a statistic than I actually had to be. I started nursing school at the age of 18, and became a LPN at 19. I’m now 23yrs old, just gave birth to my fourth child, am happily married to a wonderful man I met when my son was only 5mnths old. I wouldnt have my life any other way. I am so glad I didnt listen to everyone around me that told me to abort. My wonderful 5yr old is such a joy, and I love him to death. While making this decision, and getting ready to go on a very rollercoaster adventure, please remember these two things: Nothing melts the heart of family like a grandchild, and I have yet to meet anyone that regreted having their baby and becoming a mother, but everyone I have ever met that had an abortion regrets it deeply to this day.
Good luck.
Christina
[b] Have either of you considered retesting? With my second child, I did not get a positive urine pregnancy test till I was 8wks along. My friend was 22wks along before she got a positive test. The reasons the tests sometimes dont register positive when you are actually pregnant is because the more dilute your urine is, the less the pregnancy hormone. Most insurance companies pay for blood tests. If you call your doctor and tell them you’ve missed a period and got a negative pregnancy test but feel you are pregnant, most will issue paperwork for a blood test. All I can say is good luck, and I hope you both get the outcome you are looking for. Good job for playing things "safe" until you know for sure.
Christina
[b] I completely understand what you are going through. When I got pregnant with my oldest child, I was only 17yrs old, and his father walked out on me the day I told him I was pregnant. I was also told to get rid of my baby. I decided that I was not going to let him make choices for me. Men have no guilt over a miscarriage because they are not the ones that have to submit to them physically or mentally. Its solely on the woman. And with that also comes the great power to tell them to shove it, because this is your body and your baby! If you had a 2yr old child, would you randomly choose to have your child killed? Of course not! If you want my advice, either raise the baby on your own, like I did, or place it for adoption if you dont think you can be a mother. There is no shame in that. Its a very selfless act and one I completely admire. I have had 3 miscarraiges myself, and unless you have lost a baby, you can’t understand the physical and emotional toll it has on your body to have a baby die. Its something I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Just rememeber, there are so many women out there that cant have children. Consider yourself lucky and special. Whatever you choose to do, make sure its because you WANT to, not because someone pressured you. That is your child, and that baby is depending on you. Please consider life. I promise you as a mother of four, that you wont regret it 🙂
Christina
[b] Only another parent of a preemie can truely understand what that was like for you. I am the mother of 2 preemies, and 2 full term children. My preemies were born at 35 and 36wk gestations. My 36wker is only 3mnths old and while I was spared the NICU with him, we still have problems with him forgetting to breathe. My 35wker almost died at delivery. I had a severe infection called Chorioamnioitis, which is a uterine infection, which caused PROM. She had to be induced for me to deliver her, and crashed shortly after birth. The first 2 days of her life, they couldnt even tell me if she would make it, she was so deathly ill. All I could do besides cry, was sit and rub her arm and legs and pray. I never prayed more in my life than I did while waiting for the news about my daughter’s health. Watching her endure test after test, including a spinal tap to check for menigitis when she was only 3hrs old, left me exhausted and heartbroken. I was so grateful for the other preemie moms in the NICU to talk to. They helped me through so much and they will always be in my hearts. We formed bonds you can only form in the NICU. I am so happy that your preemie is doing well. Mine too is doing awesome. My lil angel baby that almost died is 23mnths old and will celebrate her 2nd birthday Jan 2nd. She has no ill effects from her rocky start and surprisingly is the healthiest of any of my children. Just proves God still does miracles.
Christina
[b] Reading this message broke my heart. I am a 23yr old mother of 4, and I have also experienced 3 miscarriages. I can completely understand the utter feeling of being overwhelmed by an unplanned pregnancy because I’ve had several. I’m one of the "special" girls that gets pregnant even while using birth control. When I conceived my second child, the thought of abortion did cross my mind, but of course, I could not go through with it. Having lost 3 babies to miscarriages, it breaks my heart to know people feel this is the only choice. I grieved the loss of all my children, and still mourn their deaths to this day. There are so many more options out there besides abortion. And unless you have lost a child, you cant understand the significant heart wrenching emotions you experience. Although I am so grateful for the four living children I have with my husband, my heart still aches every mothers day and christmas and my due dates for my angels that did not make it to this world. I would never wish it upon another mother to experience the death of her child, especially if she knows she deliberately caused it. I thank God for places now like Safe Havens where mothers can safely abandon their child with no reprocussions. I know some people find this system heartless, but to me, its very heart felt; to choose to let your child live even when you know you cant mother him or her.
Christina
