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sweetheart, i’m 19 yrs, and i’d love to talk if youd like.
was there someone that held your hand as you went through all of that a year ago (maybe not literally, but helped you)? If so, talk to them, maybe they will hold your hand now..You also have me : )
The abortion happened. The thing now is to get through it…and that doesnt involve the guilt of rehashing the experience in your mind. You made a decision, and regardless of the repurcussions of that action, what makes life so wonderful is that we separate ourselves from previous indescretions with every new decision we make. Everytime you smile at someone, you are one happy act further from what happened a year ago. Everytime you do something good and loving, you are one loving act further from the one that is haunting you. Those new actions– they redefine you. build on each smile, get strength from each new one.In the early stages of the first trimester, everytime i had a stressful conversation I would cramp and have extreme nausea. It was really weird but proved the stress factor for me. Whenever I distanced myself from the father and learned to temporarily shut him out of my mind I would feel tremendously better. My back would loosen up and the nausea would stop etc. BUT, as soon as i spoke to the baby’s father again I would get worked up and ill. It was REALLY weird.
Try to learn how to make the boyfriend an ‘out of site, out of mind’ thing, so that you only have to feel the stress when he is actually around…then you are in more control, and YOU and YOUR stress levels are THE most important thing 🙂good luck 🙂
wow so many responses! every one of your responses have been unbelievably helpful, . Thank you all.
One really hard thing is that im a freshman in college, and as soon as this pregnant business happened…well to say my schoolwork has suffered would be the understatement of the year. My dad, as soon as he found out about the pregnancy…ever since then, the only thing he will say to me is how important my schoolwork is. "I cant stress enough how important school is right now…that is your JOB. It is the most important thing.." etc.. But it’s NOT!!!! And to have him say those things makes me feel hopeless and without options. This is so freaking hard to cope with without his crap!!
K. That was my rant. Thank you 🙂i dont have any answers…because i’m in a similar situation. my parents are making me feel financially trapped into making the decisions they want me to make. just know you’re not alone, and both of us will make it to the other side of this 🙂
..i believe the line "You will not be allowed to drag us into the poor house" was used by my father. sound familiar? It’s hard to love people so much, then have them say things that make our situation seem so hopeless. Things are NOT hopeless— I will be checking up on this thread to see if someone has a solution for us!!!
all children are a blessing. no exceptions, period. you are that child’s mother, and it is up to you to love your baby unconditionaly. 🙂 Youre rape was a tragedy, but your baby isnt. Just because sex is supposed to be a consensual act doesnt make your baby an abomination. it will take a certain level of maturity to stand up to those people and tell them that this baby is a JOY, just as all babies are. Stand up for that child; it will be years before he will be able to stand up for himself!
my heart is with you through this hard time. even though i chose to have sex, my family cant look at this pregnancy without sadness. That’s actually part of the reason I have chosen adoption– this baby deserves to be treated like a joy and blessing by everyone around him/her. I dont blame them though, just as you shouldnt. this is a hard adjustment for all that love you and hate what was done to you.
youre in my prayers.
