February 6, 2007. I was 14, and happier than I ever could be. I went with some friends to a party for my birthday. There, I was raped. I was ashamed and didn’t want anyone to know. So I acted like everything was so perfect.
March came around and I still hadn’t had a period since before that night. I started to get a little worried, but if I had said anything, I would have to admit that I had gone to the party and that I wasn’t strong enough to keep a guy off of me. I still kept it a secret.
April. Morning sickness kicks in and my mom thinks it’s the stomach flu. She has no clue. I knew I was pregnant. There was no doubt in my mind at this point, but still, I told no one.
May. The secret was getting harder to keep. Everytime I was in view of people, I would suck in my gut to keep hiding it. At first, this wasn’t hard. It was mostly to keep people admiring how “skinny” I was. The middle of this month, I felt the baby move.
June. People started asking if i was pregnant, but I kept denying it. I told them I had not had sex yet, so it was impossible. My friends and I joked a lot about my “pregnant belly” and me bein a fatty because I ate more, but still I was the only one who knew.
July. I went on with life as if nothing was happening. It was harder to hide my belly, especially with swim suits, but I managed. Until the Sunday, July 15, 2007, the day my parents found out I was pregnant. My mom asked me if I wanted to get on birth control. I told her I wasn’t having sex so I didn’t need to, because I knew it could hurt my baby if I would take it. She kept insisting and said well, I just want to make sure you don’t get caught in the moment and get pregnant. I told her I thought I already was. She was surprisingly calm and didn’t ever yell at me. She got a home pregnancy test and about 6:30 that night, we confirmed with a big plus sign that I was no doubt pregnant. I went to the doctor and told my friends. The hardest person to tell was “Kody.” He has been my best friend since we were nine and I love him with all my heart. He took it hard and didn’t know what to say. I told him about the rape, and I think that put him over the edge. He started to shy away from me. The Secret changed our relationship, in both good and bad ways.
August. School started and I was scared to death! I didn’t want people thinking I was a whore. I didn’t want to tell people I was raped either. So I came up with the story. The Story was that I had met a guy at the party and things got kinda outta control and that’s how I got pregnant. I told everyone that he didn’t want to be a part of our lives. Every one believes it. Everyone at school was a lot more supportive than I thought they were going to be; at least to my face. People still talked and would spread rumors, but that was to be expected. I wasn’t the only one at my school. There were three of us, and we all started to talk and become closer. The school guidance teacher started a group where all of us would get out of class and just talk about what was going on and who was saying what about us. It was soooo helpful. I found out I was having a girl.
September. I couldn’t be a cheerleader which kinda disappointed me, but I got over it. I was happy and not ashamed at all that I was pregnant at only 15.
October. I was tired all the time and plans started to be set up with the school about maternity leave. I decided I was going to go to school up until the day I went into labor, and then stay out until I felt ready to go back to school. I got out of PE, because my PE teacher didn’t want me going into labor in his class. I got to leave every class right in the middle to pee, and was excused if I was late because I was in the bathroom. Everyone wanted to know when I was going to go into labor, and if they could touch my belly, and if I would let the school know when i had her, and if they could get me presents. I was bombarded with questions, and getting bigger by the day.
November 14, 2007 was my due date. Gracelynn, however, had different plans.
I went into labor October 29th at 9:28 pm. That was my first hard contraction. I was in labor for 5 hours and 17 minutes. Gracelynn Jean was born October 30, 2007. I had an easy delivery, and Grace was really healthy. She weighed 6 lbs 13oz and was 21 in. long. She is perfect in every way.
