My issues are sort of different. I’ve been in a relationship with the same man off and on for 10 years. We have a 7-year-old child. And we’ve lived together for the last three years. Everything is in our names together. We are what you consider “common law” married. I am not very young, and not in school. I am working full-time.
My home life hasn’t been very happy lately. I guess it comes with being with someone for so long. We had been fighting a lot and decided to separate. During one of our moments of making up, I ended up getting pregnant. We were careful, using condoms. But I still got pregnant. When I first suspected being pregnant, I took a pregnancy test. It was negative. But my cycle never came, so I took another, in fact, 3 tests, all positive. I just sat there and cried. Here I am, preparing to move out on my own, and this happens. I didn’t know what to do and I was afraid to tell him.
I talked to my family who were very happy for me and would support me in my decision. But when I finally told him, things went horrible. It was like I had stolen from him, or raped him. He didn’t understand how it could happen. If it was even his. How he didn’t want more children. How I was just trying to force him to stay with me, that he just wanted me out of his life! He didn’t care at all about me. My son didn’t understand all the fighting, or crying. All he wanted was an abortion and me gone.
Then, a couple of days later, he approached me, telling me about the abortion pill. At that point, I was tired of fighting and just agreed. I looked into it and thought it would be the right choice. My family were even encouraging me to do it so that I could be free of him and have a fresh start. I made my appointment and then went to the clinic ALONE. I was in such a rush to have it done, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. Turns out I was 6 weeks pregnant. The other women there looked scared or nervous. Everyone basically watched the floor, like they were ashamed, including me. Some women didn’t even know about the pill option. But the surgery was not for me. I took the pill, got the rest of the meds to take at home, then left.
Everything happened so fast after that. I came home to have my miscarriage. When I was really giving away a child. The next day, I took the other pills-then the bleeding and cramping started. My very first trip to the restroom, and there was the baby. All I could do was cry. And where was the father? Out celebrating! I never complained about the pain, nausea, or anything else. I didn’t have the right to.
I haven’t been the same since. I chose to end my baby’s life because I was scared to do things alone. Because people encouraged it, because I thought I didn’t have any other options. When that wasn’t the case, and I see that now. But it’s too late. I want my child back. And that will never happen. I have nightmares all the time. Even about losing my son. I did something I didn’t believe in and justified it. I guess that is my punishment. Every day, I hate myself more. Maybe one day, I will be blessed to become a parent again. And I will be just that!
OK, soo now I’m starting to feel excited. This website has really helped me out sooo much.
I really was confused at first. But now, I’m sooo totally excited. I know it’s going to be hard. But hey, I chose to DO IT with my baby daddy and now I’m going to have a baby. It’s not his or her fault. I need to do what’s right for me and my little angel.
Now, I have to start thinking bout names 😀
Hi, i’m megan and i’m 13 years old. I got and abortion 2 weeks ago. I found out i was pregnant on July 5th, 2010 on mine and my boyfriends 1 year and 1 month anniversary. I remember watching the test turn positive right away. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “Great…” My boyfriend always told me how he wanted a baby with me at this age, but 3 days before i found out, he bailed and said he never wanted one. I didnt either. We’ve been having unprotected sex since November of 2009. I called him right away when i found out i was pregnant and we both were speechless. He hung up and right away texted me ABORTION!ABORTION!ABORTION! I was crying hysterically and didnt know what to do. His whole family told me to get an abortion, and my parents told me to put it up for adoption. I was going for adoption, but my boyfriend said if i keep the baby, we’re breaking up and i didnt want to lose him, because i loved him. So me, my mom, his mom and him met at the locas Dairy Queen and my mom called the clinic. I sat there staring into space. I went to the doctor a week before and she told me i was 3-4 weeks pregnant. I knew it wasn;t a real baby yet, so i really didnt have a problem. I thought about all my goals and was ready for the abortion. Me, my mother, my boyfriend and his mother met at the clinic and i filled out paper work. First they called me to a room for an ultra sound. t was my first ultrasound and I felt awkward. Then they called me to take blood from my finger and take my weight. Then they called me into another room and talked about what was going to happen, what i could and couldn’t do; she also told me i was 6 weeks, and 4 days pregnant. Thats when i wanted to run out of the room. All i remember after that was getting dressed and sitting in the operation room starring at a light. It was scary…at first i thought i did the right thing, but now i regret it. Im depressed and angry at myself…please if you’re pregnant and want an abortion make sure you’re 100% positive about it. Abortion is permanent…you cant take it back.
dedicated to sophia avianna mona ..my baby.
when i knew i have u
its hard for me to accept the truth
the truth that im having an angel soon
and the decision i made in order for u to bloom
im scared to be alone in giving u life
but i chose this just to make u mine
my heart sings of joy everytime
cause u know,ur always on my mind
i never dreamed of having u,
though u dream i gorgeous baby and it feels so true
u might came for an instant
no wonder why others want to separate us
but i refused to cause ur important
others make think its a mistake
dont mind them cause ur mine and it can never be break
i love u,u know how much cause its too much
both of us were excited to see u
to touch u and to live with u..
thats how much we expect u to come out in this world
to see such a gorgeous baby that would be mine for the rest of my life
hoping of u to have
there it was a pain i a rush
thought it was not serious
lately i began to feel nervous
i cried when i felt something went out of me
i saw u,i held u in my palms just to be sure if its really u
baby,u got ur head
ur bending and ur dead..:'(
do u really want to let go?
cause it really hurts when u say so..
thought i’ll be facing my motherhood..
but u wont let me so there i stood
why baby ? why?
i dont want u to die..
u didnt even say goodbye..
if u want to,i will let u fly…
baby goodbye..
i will be missing u…
ilove u so much…
Dedicated to Sophia Avianna Mona, my baby.
When I knew I had you
It was hard for me to accept the truth
The truth that I’m having an angel soon
And the decision I made in order for you to bloom
I’m scared to be alone in giving you life
But I chose this just to make you mine
My heart sings of joy every time
Cause you know, you’re always on my mind
I never dreamed of having you,
though I dream of you, gorgeous baby, and it feels so true
You might come for an instant
No wonder why others wanted to separate us
But I refused to cause you’re important
Others may think its a mistake
Don’t mind them cause you’re mine and it can never be break
I love you, you know how much cause its too much
Both of us were excited to see you
To touch you and to live with you…
That’s how much we expect you to come out in this world
To see such a gorgeous baby that would be mine for the rest of my life
Hoping of you to have
There, it was a pain, I a rush
Thought it was not serious
Lately, I began to feel nervous
I cried when I felt something come out of me
I saw you. I held you in my palms just to be sure if its really you
Baby, you got your head
You’re bending and you’re dead… :'(
Do you really want to let go?
Cause it really hurts when you say so…
Thought I’d be facing my motherhood..
But you won’t let me so there I stood
Why baby? Why?
I don’t want you to die…
You didn’t even say goodbye…
If you want to, I will let u fly…
Baby goodbye…
I will be missing you…
I love you so much…
It’s 11:55 pm and I’m just on this website because I don’t know where else to go. I keep writing blogs. none of my friends know what I’m going through. I just finished writing a blog maybe 4 hours ago and now I’m writing another one. I was just thinking about soo many things. I’ve been doing so much thinking that I’m starting to question many things. I wrote my baby a letter in a blog here and I was happy. I am happy. But I don’t know. I’m confused. I live in a hard area of Los Angeles to be pregnant. I live in a nice neighborhood where everything is well taken care of and I have a lot of friends and my parents have a lot of friends. But with having friends means gossip. I still haven’t told my parents, but I’ve been hearing people talk bout me and saying how much weight I gained. I’m sitting in my bed thinking. Like I said a million times. I’ve been thinking.
1) How can I have a child if I sometimes can’t even take care of myself
2) If I do adoption, could that be a good idea? But when I think bout adopting, I’m just imagining bout it and I don’t think I could really do it. And I can’t do it and the baby isn’t even born yet.
3) Am I being selfish for not putting my little angel in good hands? But how do I know that they’re really in good hands? What if I’m a better mother than the adopted parents? What if my daughter would be happier with me than her adopted parents?
4) What is the best thing for me to do? Drop out of school and actually raise my child? Well, I don’t think so thinking bout it. I really don’t want to be at school though and I want to stay with my child, but I know that I need schooling too.
5) Am I thinking too much? Am I being too dramatic?
God help me
