OK, soo now I’m starting to feel excited. This website has really helped me out sooo much.
I really was confused at first. But now, I’m sooo totally excited. I know it’s going to be hard. But hey, I chose to DO IT with my baby daddy and now I’m going to have a baby. It’s not his or her fault. I need to do what’s right for me and my little angel.
Now, I have to start thinking bout names 😀
Hi, i’m megan and i’m 13 years old. I got and abortion 2 weeks ago. I found out i was pregnant on July 5th, 2010 on mine and my boyfriends 1 year and 1 month anniversary. I remember watching the test turn positive right away. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “Great…” My boyfriend always told me how he wanted a baby with me at this age, but 3 days before i found out, he bailed and said he never wanted one. I didnt either. We’ve been having unprotected sex since November of 2009. I called him right away when i found out i was pregnant and we both were speechless. He hung up and right away texted me ABORTION!ABORTION!ABORTION! I was crying hysterically and didnt know what to do. His whole family told me to get an abortion, and my parents told me to put it up for adoption. I was going for adoption, but my boyfriend said if i keep the baby, we’re breaking up and i didnt want to lose him, because i loved him. So me, my mom, his mom and him met at the locas Dairy Queen and my mom called the clinic. I sat there staring into space. I went to the doctor a week before and she told me i was 3-4 weeks pregnant. I knew it wasn;t a real baby yet, so i really didnt have a problem. I thought about all my goals and was ready for the abortion. Me, my mother, my boyfriend and his mother met at the clinic and i filled out paper work. First they called me to a room for an ultra sound. t was my first ultrasound and I felt awkward. Then they called me to take blood from my finger and take my weight. Then they called me into another room and talked about what was going to happen, what i could and couldn’t do; she also told me i was 6 weeks, and 4 days pregnant. Thats when i wanted to run out of the room. All i remember after that was getting dressed and sitting in the operation room starring at a light. It was scary…at first i thought i did the right thing, but now i regret it. Im depressed and angry at myself…please if you’re pregnant and want an abortion make sure you’re 100% positive about it. Abortion is permanent…you cant take it back.
dedicated to sophia avianna mona ..my baby.
when i knew i have u
its hard for me to accept the truth
the truth that im having an angel soon
and the decision i made in order for u to bloom
im scared to be alone in giving u life
but i chose this just to make u mine
my heart sings of joy everytime
cause u know,ur always on my mind
i never dreamed of having u,
though u dream i gorgeous baby and it feels so true
u might came for an instant
no wonder why others want to separate us
but i refused to cause ur important
others make think its a mistake
dont mind them cause ur mine and it can never be break
i love u,u know how much cause its too much
both of us were excited to see u
to touch u and to live with u..
thats how much we expect u to come out in this world
to see such a gorgeous baby that would be mine for the rest of my life
hoping of u to have
there it was a pain i a rush
thought it was not serious
lately i began to feel nervous
i cried when i felt something went out of me
i saw u,i held u in my palms just to be sure if its really u
baby,u got ur head
ur bending and ur dead..:'(
do u really want to let go?
cause it really hurts when u say so..
thought i’ll be facing my motherhood..
but u wont let me so there i stood
why baby ? why?
i dont want u to die..
u didnt even say goodbye..
if u want to,i will let u fly…
baby goodbye..
i will be missing u…
ilove u so much…
Dedicated to Sophia Avianna Mona, my baby.
When I knew I had you
It was hard for me to accept the truth
The truth that I’m having an angel soon
And the decision I made in order for you to bloom
I’m scared to be alone in giving you life
But I chose this just to make you mine
My heart sings of joy every time
Cause you know, you’re always on my mind
I never dreamed of having you,
though I dream of you, gorgeous baby, and it feels so true
You might come for an instant
No wonder why others wanted to separate us
But I refused to cause you’re important
Others may think its a mistake
Don’t mind them cause you’re mine and it can never be break
I love you, you know how much cause its too much
Both of us were excited to see you
To touch you and to live with you…
That’s how much we expect you to come out in this world
To see such a gorgeous baby that would be mine for the rest of my life
Hoping of you to have
There, it was a pain, I a rush
Thought it was not serious
Lately, I began to feel nervous
I cried when I felt something come out of me
I saw you. I held you in my palms just to be sure if its really you
Baby, you got your head
You’re bending and you’re dead… :'(
Do you really want to let go?
Cause it really hurts when you say so…
Thought I’d be facing my motherhood..
But you won’t let me so there I stood
Why baby? Why?
I don’t want you to die…
You didn’t even say goodbye…
If you want to, I will let u fly…
Baby goodbye…
I will be missing you…
I love you so much…
It’s 11:55 pm and I’m just on this website because I don’t know where else to go. I keep writing blogs. none of my friends know what I’m going through. I just finished writing a blog maybe 4 hours ago and now I’m writing another one. I was just thinking about soo many things. I’ve been doing so much thinking that I’m starting to question many things. I wrote my baby a letter in a blog here and I was happy. I am happy. But I don’t know. I’m confused. I live in a hard area of Los Angeles to be pregnant. I live in a nice neighborhood where everything is well taken care of and I have a lot of friends and my parents have a lot of friends. But with having friends means gossip. I still haven’t told my parents, but I’ve been hearing people talk bout me and saying how much weight I gained. I’m sitting in my bed thinking. Like I said a million times. I’ve been thinking.
1) How can I have a child if I sometimes can’t even take care of myself
2) If I do adoption, could that be a good idea? But when I think bout adopting, I’m just imagining bout it and I don’t think I could really do it. And I can’t do it and the baby isn’t even born yet.
3) Am I being selfish for not putting my little angel in good hands? But how do I know that they’re really in good hands? What if I’m a better mother than the adopted parents? What if my daughter would be happier with me than her adopted parents?
4) What is the best thing for me to do? Drop out of school and actually raise my child? Well, I don’t think so thinking bout it. I really don’t want to be at school though and I want to stay with my child, but I know that I need schooling too.
5) Am I thinking too much? Am I being too dramatic?
God help me
Hey baby,
Hi, I just wanted to write something to you. So here it goes. I really don’t know what to write, but by the time I finish this letter, it’ll probably be a pretty long letter. So I’m going to say that I’m sooo happy that you’re my baby girl or baby boy. I still don’t know how I’m going to raise you or how life’s going to turn out for the BOTH of us. But what I do know is that I love you with all my heart and that I never know how powerful love really is until you love someone that you can’t stop loving no matter what.
I don’t even know your gender, but I could feel you inside me growing and growing. Or maybe I think I’m feeling you but I’m almost positive that it’s you growing. I can’t wait to see your little angel face, touch your little toes, and play with you one little piggie. I also can’t wait to sing to you and to hold you. Also, I hope that since I’m only 14, you’ll learn from my big mistake because I’m soo young and I wanted to do soo many things, but now I have something else to worry about. I have to worry bout you. And worrying bout you is more important to me than worrying bout school. I know I have to try my hardest in school. While most girls my age go to parties and hang out after school at Starbucks or Jamba Juice or Barnes and Noble’s, I have to go home and feed you, give you a bath, and change your clothes, and make you happy. I think that’s going to be the hardest thing for you because I want to give you soo much and I know I can’t give you half of what I want. I want you to know your real dad and I know I can’t do that. I want you to have a home to call your own and not have to be with grandma and grandpa and aunt and uncle 24/7. I want a place of our own and I can’t give that to you. I want to be with you when you’re little 24/7 and I can’t do that either I have to be at school. I want to be there with you when you give your first steps and I don’t know if I am going to be there because I have to be at school. I want me to take care of you, not grandma. Grandma already had to take care of me and she already had her time to take care of her children. And you’re her granddaughter or grandson. You’re my son or daughter and I want to take care of you. I want sooo many things for you and I can’t. But I do promise you this. I’ll try.
With love,
Your Mommy
