Those who know me already or read my blog, know I had a secret abortion at age 18. But for those of you who don’t know me, let me give you a little background.
I became a Christian as a young child. I loved Jesus and grew up in Christian school. My dad is a pastor and my mom was a Christian school teacher. However, in my early years, my parents divorced and my mom married an abusive alcoholic.
My life got turned upside down and I was angry and wounded. In spite of this, I held on to my Christian beliefs.
I wanted to be a virgin when I married and held pro-life views, taking every opportunity to bring awareness to the travesty of abortion by writing papers, giving speeches and participating in local pro-life rallies.
The summer before my junior year of high school I decided to move to Germany with my dad. It was an amazing experience but I made a lot of choices out of my insecurities and hurt instead of my moral compass. I abandoned my virginity commitment my senior year and discovered I was pregnant the summer after graduating. I was scared and afraid to admit I had turned from my purity standard. I took a Greyhound bus from my mom’s house in Ohio to Pennsylvania where my boyfriend’s family had relocated and went with him and his mom to have an abortion. I still remember every detail today, 19 years later. I then went to college in Texas and it wasn’t until I was alone in a new state that I lost it. I entered into a very deep depression. My junior year of college I was introduced to a recovery group at a local Care Pregnancy Center and began the road to healing. God has walked with me through this journey and now I welcome any chance to walk with others who are suffering in pain due to an abortion.
In a post on my blog three weeks ago, I shared my two cents about Planned Parenthood in light of the videos that had come out exposing the money they make illegally selling fetal tissue etc. That post took me an extremely long time to write because I wanted to keep my emotions at bay and truthfully Planned Parenthood can get me emotionally charged unlike any other organization, and I don’t mean in a good way! As CMP (Center for Medical Progress) has now released several other videos since my post, I felt obligated to come back and share some bits of emotion.
My abortion not only violated my moral code as a girl who grew up pro-life but it wounded me. Thanks to a local Care Pregnancy center close to the TCU campus in Fort Worth, I was able to find healing in the midst of my college experience at Texas Christian University. I loved my experience in college and am so grateful for my degree in Communications, but it’s the healing I received in my junior year that is most treasured.
Don’t get me wrong— even though I know today I don’t live with the baggage of that choice, I still face hard emotions at times. Sometimes the most obscure happening to cross my path can easily cause me to mourn my sweet Tyler, the name I knew was his.
It is and always will be my greatest regret!
I am hurt now by the realization that his body may have been further profited on and mutilated for the sake of science after I left that clinic. That thought hurts me and I’m left wondering—am I the only one feeling this way?
Sure, I signed some papers before the procedure, but if you think for a moment I was in any state to do such a thing, you are wrong! You can say all you want that women are giving permission but my guess is (and by guess I mean based on my years of counseling women who have experienced pain due to abortion), that if women really knew the doctor was working in a specific way to protect a kidney or brain matter to later sell to research, they would be running in an effort to protect their child!
These videos bring to light one more thing I must mourn. My poor baby was hurt and I not only let it happen, I agreed to it by signing the paperwork. Be mindful that there is a third of our population that has made this same choice and many of them may be mourning a new level of loss! In my opinion, Planned Parenthood must be stopped and replaced with a new non-profit that actually is pro-woman.
Hello, everyone. I found this site and I wanted to share my story just in case it might be of use to someone.
I was a “victim” of an unexpected pregnancy, but my situation was quite a bit different. I’ll tell you why. I was in a terrible marriage. My husband was incredibly verbally abusive and at times physically abusive. He already had a woman that he was “engaged” to and was going to leave me for and marry, supposedly. For this reason, I chose to seek out my own separate partner and was successful in doing so.
So like my husband, I had a spouse and a boyfriend at the same time. I am not defending my actions, especially now in hindsight, but at the time, considering the duress I was under, the companionship of another guy was a welcome distraction.
I got pregnant by my boyfriend the third time we were “together.” I was going crazy. I was crying my eyes out. Thankfully, I was pro-life at the time so abortion was not going to be an option for me; I knew this logically speaking. But my emotions told a different story. I wanted to get to a crisis pregnancy center to take another test and possibly get some information about adoption. I was still crying heavily when I talked to them on the phone. They said to come on and they would give me another test. I got there and I had calmed down some. The second test gave me the same result. I talked to a very nice lady for a little bit and she did give me a brochure for an adoption agency. She even prayed with me for a little bit before I left.
This began the long and arduous road from conception to adoption for me. I could talk about the process here, but I want this particular post to be relatively short. I chose adoption because 1.) I was getting a divorce soon. I did not want to raise a child without a father if I had any control over that situation at all. I already had one daughter who was 3/4 at the time. I did not want to make things harder for myself than I knew they were going to be. 2.) I was 33 years old at the time of my son’s conception. Some people have children at 35 and they are just fine with that, but that was not my preference – especially without the help of a husband, as I mentioned earlier. 3.) The birth father was not married to the mother of his three girls, so that was not a situation I felt comfortable leaving my child in, if I had anything to do with it. I guess you could say I had very high standards for parenting – even for myself.
My whole point in writing this post for everyone is that being pro-life is for everyone. No matter how terrible the situation, adoption is ALWAYS, ALWAYS an option and it is ALWAYS a better option than abortion, without exception. If you want to know more about the in’s and out’s of adoption as I know it, you can ask me and I’ll answer your questions as best I know how. Thanks for reading and thanks for being pro-life!
Ashley
*Name changed to protect privacy. For now, anyway.
I’m a jr in high school and Well its 30 weeks and I’m about ready to *pop!* I just want meet my baby boy already. He’s always moving and has the hiccups. I just wanna hear him laugh and see his eyes. As for high school.. well I’m struggling.
I only have 9 days left though so it’ll all be good at the end. I’ll do online after the baby is born but I’m not gonna let him down I’m gonna get my high school degree.
School it self is hard. Its a struggle to just get up in the mornings. Its a struggle to find something comfy to wear. Its a struggle to sit in the stupid desks for 8 hours. That is the reason I’m doing online and to save money on a babysitter.
As for the dad.. well we are still together and going strong. He’s doing a lot in helping and I couldn’t ask for a better man to help me. well its been a long day tootles.
My name is Lyndsey and I’m 15 years old. I met my boyfriend Braxton (16 years old) at a party a few years ago. We’ve been together ever since. I became sexually active about a month ago. We used protection and made sure we were as careful as possible.
I’m pregnant… I told my parents and they talked to me about abortion and adoption, they have been really supportive, and so have Braxton’s parents and I am super happy. But not so happy that I am pregnant:( One night, Braxton had realized that the condom broke after we were done.
I was scared and I kept a very close eye. My next period didn’t come. I had irregular periods so I wasn’t concerned at that point, then the next one didn’t come. I was scared, so I told my mom, and she understood. She had me at a very young age, and I told her my concern and she took me to the drug store, and we bought 10 pregnancy tests. All of them came out positive.
I cried for day’s The day before my first appointment, I invited Braxton over to tell him. By then my dad already knew and he was very supportive. He came over and I sat him on the couch and I told him. He thought it was a prank at first. I started to cry and he knew it wasn’t a joke. He started to tear up and we just sat there and cried. I asked him about his thoughts on abortion. He didn’t like the idea at all. I didn’t like it either. He wanted to keep the baby.
The next day, we told his parents. His parents were shocked, but they were very supportive. All 6 of us went to my first appointment. I am beginning to feel nauseous and I just needed to find a support group to help me cope.
I have a small bump, and that god Braxton is sticking by my side. We decided we are going to keep the baby, and me being pregnant is hard. I go to an online school. Braxton works a lot. Braxton’s friends are also really supportive and my friends are also.
For the pregnancy, everything is going well. Like I said, I have a little nausea, and I am still in shock. 8 months more to go!!
I’m a junior in High School. Me and my ex were dating 1 year and 2 months before we broke up recently because i told him i might be pregnant. I’m 16 and will turn 17 next month and he’s 19 and will turn 20 in August.
He has changed his number and blocked me from everything (which is crazy ) but im under the impression he’s scared that if i am my dad will send him to jail (but still isn’t an excuse).
We had unprotected sex and a few day later i started feeling weird. Brownish and pinkish blood started to appear 10-12 days later and then maybe 3 days later it got way heavier and 2 days later stops.
I’m so confused and don’t know what to do a logical answer would be to take a PT but my dad monitors my money and my bank account so it’s very hard to buy one with out anyone knowing. What to do ??
