Dear…

Dear Mummy…

I’m so sorry this is happening. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. But I’m going to be a mum soon. I’ll learn a lesson. I’ll understand how hard it must have been for you. Also, thank you so very much for supporting me, being there at every hospital appointment, being there when I’ve been rushed into the hospital, there to rub my belly better when it hurts. Thank you for helping me get ready for my baby, and for helping when my fiancé didn’t care. You are truly the best mum I could ever ask for. You’ve made this experience amazing. You’re always there for me. I’m so lucky to have you. And I promise I’ll manage, I’ll try my best to stay strong for my son. He will love you so much, your precious grandson. Thank you, mummy 🙂

Dear Dad…If only you knew your little girl was having a baby. If only I knew where you were and what you are like. If my fiancé ever turns out like you, I won’t give up. I will always try my best to give my child their father. But you’ve never wanted to know. You didn’t care when mum had me, when she struggled alone. My son will never hear you’re name. Is it not worth it?

Dear Best Friends…Thank you so much, guys. Every single one of you have been here for me. You’ve never doubted me. You’ve stood by me! Already picked out my boy’s godparents: was such a hard choice. Not seeing you all as much is hard, but a pregnant woman needs her rest, hehe.  I’m sorry for messing up school, college, and our weekly nights out…But Baby is going to be the new arrival soon, and he means everything to me. I hope you’ll love him as much as you love me. Thank you for everything!

Dear Fiancé…You’re amazing. After such a short relationship, we made a baby, our baby boy! And you hated me, you hated the fact you were going to be a daddy. But look at us now, we’re so happy. I’m moving in, you’ve got a job. You’ve bought our son the most amazing gear. We’re getting ready for our new arrival. And you once didn’t want him. So much has changed. I’m happy though, I’m so happy knowing we’re going to be fine. We’re going to get through this. I’m proud to say I wouldn’t have got this far without you. Our son is going to have such an amazing daddy. You should be proud of yourself…You’ve changed your whole life around for us! Thank you for helping me with everything. I love you, man 🙂

Dear my precious unborn…Not long now, sweetie. Only a few more weeks. You’re going to be early, I know, poorly, weak. But I’ll be there watching over you, making sure you’re getting stronger each day. I won’t ever leave you. You’re already my fighting little soldier. I’m so proud of you, you’ve made me such a proud mummy. I’m young, but you wanted to come, so i took you as a gift and I’ll never throw you away! I cant believe you’re really mine, my shining star. You’re going to be so spoilt baby. You’ll have everything you want, I promise! Your mummy, daddy, and your whole family love you so much! See you soon little man. Stay strong for Mumma 🙂

Dear Me…Well done. You should be proud of yourself 🙂

help

Hey everyone, I’ve been reading everyone’s stories here looking for advice.

I am 19, going on 20 in three months, and I found out five days ago that I am 6 weeks pregnant. And I’m scared. One moment I want to keep it and the next, I don’t. My boyfriend wants to keep it and he says he can take care of us, but I’m still scared. I guess I’m looking for some guidance here. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision…

Help

My Story

Hi everyone, I felt like it was time to share my story because just reading that someone else went through what you are going through really helped me to feel more comfortable. I’m currently 19 turning 20 in November, my precious baby boy is turning 3 months old on the 1st of April, and I feel soooo blessed to have him in my life. I can’t imagine life without him.

Since I was 15, we have moved around a lot. I lived in South Africa in a small town known as Secunda in South Africa until I was 15 when we moved to Saudi Arabia. I turned into a real rebel and started drinking (which is illegal in Saudi Arabia), smoking more than usual, and doing drugs (which is also illegal). I was out every night on the weekends even when my parents banned me from going out. I would climb out of my window to go hang out with friends. I was a real rebel and didn’t care what anyone said or thought. After two years in Saudi, we moved to South Korea and we lived in Seoul. I went to an American International Christian school. I changed my whole lifestyle and got my path right with Jesus. The year in Korea did me good. I got my life back on track; didn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I really thought I was ready to face anything life could throw my way, but I was wrong.

After a year in Korea, we moved back to Saudi and everything went back to the way it was the first two years in Saudi. I went back to doing drugs, drinking, and smoking. I was out every night till 5 in the morning when I would sneak back into my room. My first weekend back, my friends threw me a welcome-back party and I went crazy, I drank more than I ever did and soon I was in the arms of a guy I didn’t even know. The guy was really sweet and helped me get back home. We started hanging out more and getting to know each other and soon we were together. On the night he asked me out (1st of April), we unknowingly conceived our son. We thought nothing of it and we slept together every time we saw each other. I was still doing drugs and still drinking and smoking like crazy. Life was a party every night. Soon my fiancé went back to South Africa for vacation. Every day, he would tell me that I might be pregnant and I kept telling him it can’t be. I can’t be pregnant. I have one more year of school left. So before I went to South Africa to join him, I was still out every night doing crazy stuff. I kept telling him I couldn’t be pregnant. I had my period, and I don’t know if I’m late because I have always had irregular periods (at that time I didn’t know it was spotting). I didn’t have morning sickness. I was tired, but it was because I was working myself crazy at school with exams and cheerleading and cross country. And my breast was swollen, but that always happens before I get my period. So I didn’t think anything about being pregnant.

The day I landed in South Africa, he took me to the doctor to do a blood test, just because I refused to take a pregnancy test because I believed I wasn’t pregnant. I told the doctor I had my period (spotting) and he told me I might have had a miscarriage. We did the blood test and the doctor told me to call back after a week. So in that week, we went to clubs and drunk and smoked and did drugs like I always do. I called the doctor on the 28th of June and the receptions told me that I’m between 7 and 8 weeks pregnant and she made me an appointment for the next week. (That next week I found out I was actually 12 weeks pregnant and didn’t even know that I missed the first three months). At that exact moment, I rubbed my tummy and thanked the Lord that I was pregnant. I was excited and so happy that I was pregnant. There was no shock, no sadness, nothing at all. We went to his house in South Africa and told his parents and to my surprise, they were all sooooo excited and supported us a hundred percent. That same night ,we decided to tell my parents so it could be out of the way. My parents were still in Saudi so we had to Skype them. I was sitting in the chair, shaking, not knowing what their reaction would be. I told my parents I have big news to share with them and immediately my mom said, “You’re pregnant.” Shocked, I said yes. I’m pregnant and I’m keeping the baby and taking full responsibility for the baby. My dad was all quiet and only said “as long as you take responsibility and take care of the baby and love the baby and never neglect the baby, I will support you.” My mom, on the other hand, freaked out and didn’t want to talk to me. But the next morning, I got an email from her saying sorry for her reaction and she supports us and will help me with anything I will need, but she is upset and sad because we had so much hopes and dreams together, but we will love this child because it is a blessing.

So he had to go back to Saudi that Wednesday for work. And a few weeks after that, I went back to pack up my things and to hang out with my parents before I finally had to return back to South Africa because in Saudi, they would lock me, my dad, and my fiancé in a prison because the baby was made out of wedlock and it is illegal for men and women to be together when they are not married. So after a few weeks, I came back to South Africa, moved into an apartment, and stayed on my own during my pregnancy. My parents came to visit on the 22nd of December and my dad stayed until the 12th of January. My mom and brother left on the 22nd of February. My boyfriend landed in South Africa on the 31st of January and on the 1st of January, my baby was born (but that is a story for a different day, my next blog). My fiancé had to go back on the 25th of January and after my mom and brother left, I have been alone with baby ever since.

So this is my story of my pregnancy (everything in short), so if anyone has any questions about anything you can just ask, I love to help out where I can and I’m not ashamed of any dirty details. I’m a open person and if it would help someone, I won’t mind. So be free to ask me anything!!

Lots of Love

7 weeks to go!! ..

So I’m finally 33 weeks, thinking back to when we took the pregnancy test in August. Time has flown. Seriously, this sounds a bit harsh, but I’m now fed up with being pregnant. Nothing fits and sleeping is a complete nightmare! I can’t seem to get comfy at all.

However, I always seem to smile when I see my baby girl move in my belly. It’s like she’s saying, ‘Hey, I’m in here… Remember’

So anyway, my mum’s organized my baby shower and it’s this upcoming Saturday (24th of March). She’s done an amazing job setting up all the decorations and the centre piece and I can’t wait to see what happens. Words can’t describe how supportive my parents are and I’m so incredibly grateful that I have them for when times get tough.

I went down to Essex (near London) to see [redacted’s] mum. For those who don’t know who Jason is, he is my fiancé 🙂 anyways… His mum was diagnosed with breast cancer before Christmas and has been going back and forth to the hospital. I’ve already met his dad and he’s been so supportive of our choice in having our baby, I just thought it would be better if I traveled down to see her before the baby’s born. She is lovely and seems happy about the baby. I came back on Tuesday after being there from Sunday early morning, ready so my fiancé and I could make our midwife appointment on Wednesday.

It’s now Sunday again (Mother’s Day) and trying to get around with this belly is like trying to do an obstacle course! My fiancé’s gone back to Essex to see his parents and while I’m stuck here, it’s back to being on my own again. It’s so hard because I sort of feel I’m doing this by myself as he is hardly ever here. I just hope he sticks to his word and gets us a place to live because I don’t want to always depend on my mum and dad. The cots are now up and her wardrobe is ready and now the room is TIDYY!! I’ve got half of my hospital bag ready and now am making a start on the baby’s bag.

Anyway, that’s all for now I’ll update soon 🙂