Hi, I am a young mom… My baby’s name is Sophie and she is the light of my eyes.
I just can’t imagine life without her. Although she is only a year and three months old, she is a very smart girl. On the month of September, I learned that I was pregnant again and was shocked. The first thing that came to me was that I couldn’t possibly be pregnant again, the second thing was that Sophie was going to suffer because she is too little, and the third thing was that we don’t have the money to have or even afford another baby. There were so many nights where I couldn’t sleep just by thinking about it. My husband was pressuring me to get an abortion and although I wasn’t OK with it, I agreed to it and well, just the thought of it was killing me.
I am 19 years old and had Sophie on my senior year in high school and it was the hardest time of my life. My family turned their back on me and well, I was ashamed. So I moved in with my boyfriend. Graduating and having a baby on the same year was the hardest thing I have done in my life but it only made me stronger. I talked with my family and this time, I have their support. I know that I’m young and that this baby is going to change my plans of going to college or doing anything. I could have done it with just one baby but now two is just too much. But I am confident that I am making the right decision and that I will not have to live with the guilt of an abortion and to me, that matters most than what people always say. People usually see everything wrong and well, I am a young mother, but only God can judge me and knows why. I put my life on his hands and I know that he will help me.
I know that most of you girls out there that just found out that you’re expecting are shocked, but a baby isn’t going to change your life completely. You can still have a life and well, there’s so much help out there.
I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant and was ecstatic. My boyfriend and I had been together a year and a half and were very happy.
We went to the doctor on September 20 and got the confirmation through a blood test, even though we had already done two home tests. We had an appt. on October 11 where they told us there was no baby. We took another blood test which came back negative and confirmed the urine test results we got at the doctor. We were devastated. We then scheduled a follow-up appt. for November 12.
About a week before the appt. I began feeling very nauseated all the time but I didn’t think much of it. We got to the appointment and guess what? I was pregnant. The doctor said it was probably a very new pregnancy. So we go back a week later to have a sonogram done and they said I was 8 weeks pregnant, which seemed impossible considering I had “miscarriaged” 5 weeks earlier. That was the happiest day of my life. Everyone else was mad at the doctors for messing up and putting me through all that but I didn’t care. All I cared about was that I had my baby. She is now 3 1/2 months old and I love her more than anything in this world. (They originally told us she was a boy haha.).
Abortion was never an option for me. I know God would never give me anything I can’t handle and he has a purpose for each and every one of us, so who’s right is it to take that away from an innocent baby. They deserve to be given a chance to live and become whatever they want to be.
So, I am 17 and pregnant.
Life is already hard. What makes it even harder for me is that I live with my grandparents, I go to school still. And I’m not so sure my baby daddy’s gunna stick around. I need some advice.
This baby deserves way better than what I can see coming…
When I was 18, I went to a party with my sister.
She hooks up with this guy, and well, they all told me to just go make out with this one guy. I did for awhile, and when I left the room the guy and my sister was having sex in the room and said just go lay in the room and don’t worry. I went back in the room and drank a little more, and ended up dating this guy that ended up forcing me to have sex with him. It was one of the worst days of my life.
Was I forced to have sex? I did say no. Was I coursed? Was I drunk, or did I really want it like he said? Not really knowing, he seemed nice and maybe I was overreacting, I couldn’t say anything, afraid of being laughed at or looked down on. I went on. He came and saw me work. My sister and her guy wanted me to go out with all of them again. He was 26, and well, I felt I guess maybe he was for me. He came by and seen me. We started dating and at times when I didn’t want to have sex, he would pursue until we did still, even forcing me at times. I was told about a month into dating that his ex was pregnant, and well, I just did not know if I was scared or now crazy. I stayed with him.
After 5 months of dating, I thought I might pregnant. I said nothing, denial set in, not feeling good, tired. My boyfriend wanted me to go out drinking. Coming home, we had sex, often hurting me when I did not want to have sex. I found out he was going out and seeing his ex and other women. I was mad and left. I went to my sister’s, did not say nothing at first, but my sister closest to me had thoughts. I walked to the Abortion Clinic in Vegas and kept walking, so scared. I was 18, my family a mess and while almost everyone of my sisters became moms at 16 and 17, I wanted nothing to do with it, I did not want to be a parent, I hated myself, and I wanted to disappear. I saw a sign saying “Free Pregnancy testing here.”
I don’t know to this day what put me through those doors but I am glad it did, I was given a test, a woman came in and talked to me, told me I was pregnant, She gave me an ultrasound as well. I was 12 weeks pregnant. Stunned, shocked, sad, and a little happy, but thoughts of despair knowing it was part of him inside of me, I was hoping she would say we could arrange an abortion, but she said, do you know your babies has a heartbeat, have you a safe place to stay, please consider looking at these videos, will you? So I sat there. I watched on the stages of life of a life in the womb. I left that day, still unsure of what I was doing. My boyfriend came by and asked me about it and gave me $200.00 for the abortion, and did say he would help in any way. It made me sick, I don’t think he realizes still today, he hurt me. I called the clinic again. I was told with how far along I was, it would be a 2 day procedure, what, scared, upset. I told my closest sister, she cried with me and never really said anything again.
I did not have the abortion. About 6 months in, I was over feeling like I was a victim and made my choice, a choice that has made me think everyday, hurt once a year and happy when I SEE PHOTOS OF MY SON WITH HIS GIVEN FAMILY. A family that I chose, two people that some friends of family knew of that have never been able to get pregnant, I wanted to not end life but give happiness to two people even if I was going through hell with the decision. You see, I struggled with the choice of the abortion that I knew was wrong and the choice of adoption that I knew was right. My friendship with the future mother of my child grew. We were friends but still I did not want to hurt when I gave up my child. When the time came, my son, a blessing not only to them but to me, birthed new life for both of us. You see, they picked him to be their child. I gave my child the best I could, parents that loved him, a home, I did not have even love of myself at that time. After I came home, I hurt. I cried at night, missing him, wanting to go and get him, but he was promised to them. I knew it was the best place for him. He was wanted, people who prayed for a child now were given one, but me, all my pain once again came to a head when not one person said Is this what you really want?
I held it all in, the pain, the hurt, the wanting to die, to disappear. I was to be better than all this. I started working again. I worked 3 jobs, just to not think about it. I was mad at everyone, at me, and well, blamed it all on me. Now years latter, I know choice started when I started drinking, going to parties with older men and listening to people, and not leaving. I am not excusing what my one sister did, or her friend, or my ex or the other people there, but me. I did not stop to think of the consequences to my actions, at the time, and through my teenage years trying to fit in with my friends, and family, I had put myself at risk. I hope this story help girls and women know sex does not mean you’re grown up and if a boy or a man was to read this than having sex does not make you a man, and forcing a girl or a woman to have sex when thy don’t know if they want to, or say no means you should stop, even when the boys club says a girl wants to. Even when the choice of giving life to my baby and giving him up hurt to the deepest sea, the loss has lightened over the years since. But at the time on his birthday, I pray God will heal all. I never want him to know what his father was like and one day, I do keep in touch and get reports on him, one day I hope I can tell him who his father is without the fear of telling him everything about his father.
For now, I live with the thought he has two great parents who love him, pray for him, and take care of all his needs. God placed all them into motion, before so my life would change, to move to a new beginning, with new steps and start away from all of them.
Well, I’m sixteen and I’m stuck with pregnancy.
I didn’t really want this to happen. It just did. The baby’s father is a drug addict. And he’s always smoking around me. I’ve been thinking about killing it somehow cause it seems like no one really wants this baby in the world.
I’m going up to a school in Dallas for girls like me so I can get away from him and maybe that will change my mind about all this.
I feel that I need to tell my storey so that no one will make the mistake that I did.
I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. Six months ago, I discovered that I hadn’t had my period. This was odd for me because I was on the pill. When I started to take the sugar pills, nothing happened. A week went by, still nothing. 2 weeks went by and I decided that I should probably tell my boyfriend. He was 3 years older than me so I thought he would have been able to handle it. But he freaked out and just kept saying I had to go and have a test. On my way to work the next morning, I went to a chemist by myself and picked up a pregnancy test. I thought I could do it sneakily at work and get a rough idea. I didn’t read the instructions too well and after the first test thought it was negative. I decided to do the second one just in case, this was more clear. Two red lines = pregnant! I felt scared and happy all at the same time. A million feelings rushed over me.
I told my boyfriend who freaked out even more. That night, I think we did about 8 different test from different chemists all with the same thing PREGNANT.
I didn’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he wanted me to get an abortion, that I didn’t have any other way. “He’d be there for me” but was still pushing for an abortion. I hadn’t told my parents. I didn’t want to till I knew what I was doing. A week later, I went to the doctors and had it confirmed. My boyfriend came with me and tried to be supportive as he could.
I told my mum one morning before work. I just blurted it out. There was no perfect time to tell them that their baby girl was pregnant. She freaked out too, “You’re not keeping it” were her words.
I felt no support from anyone. My friends were all for my decision. Everyone said it was my decision. How could I keep my baby with no help and no support!! I wanted to. I really wanted to. I told my boy this but he wouldn’t take me seriously!!
I decided not to ruin everyone else’s lives. I booked an abortion. I didn’t realise I would be ruining my life by killing my innocent baby.
I went through with the procedure. It was horrible for one reason. But the people there were lovely. It hurt even though I was heavily sedated. It didn’t effect me much when it first happened, maybe because it didn’t feel real. But its been 6 months now and I would be 8 months along. It breaks my heart everyday thinking about what I did. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t cry. That I didn’t wish I could change my decision. But I can’t, I’ll never be able to.
I hope by reading this, girls who were in my position will consider keeping their baby like I wish I had of. Don’t think about anyone but you and your baby.
I will have to go through my whole life living with what I did. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why I still cry myself to sleep at night. Men have it easy.
