Oh, where do I begin? The journey from three years ago to today is such a dramatic and life changing one that I can only barely remember where I started, but everyday I am reminded of God’s incredible grace. Before I begin, I should mention that, no… I did not have an abortion. However… “no one would blame me”… or so I kept being told.
Alright, I suppose my name is as good a starting point as any. My name is Megan, though my mom likes to call me Nutmeg. I am 23 and have a wonderful blonde-haired, blue-eyed wonder for a son, despite being dark-haired and brown-eyed, myself. He’s 2 and a half and though somedays do leave me sad over how he came to be, I’ve never regretted having him once, but I suppose I should elaborate a little…
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okay so here is my story i need advice on what to do and if im making the right choices : I am 17. I been on the depo shot for 3 years and i have been off now 6 months or so and i had a one day period on Aug 16th and that was all and then on September 3rd i had what some people told me was ovulation and had unprotected sex and then the next day i starting spotting for 4 days off and on and the next week afterwards i started having real bad headaches and nausea and still have them same symptoms. please help !!! (:
Okay, so here is my story. I need advice on what to do and if I’m making the right choices:
I am 17. I have been on the depo shot for 3 years. I have been off now 6 months or so and I had a one-day period on Aug 16th and that was all. Then on September 3rd, I had what some people told me was ovulation and had unprotected sex. Then the next day, I started spotting for 4 days off and on and the next week. Afterward, I started having real bad headaches and nausea. I still have those same symptoms. Please help !!! (:
Girl:
Things sure have changed fast! Just three weeks ago, I was wishing to be back with him… I trusted him! He betrayed me.
I’m negative; he’s positive. We broke up three weeks ago. On the 31st of August, I found out. I couldn’t keep it down. I started to tear up because I knew the truth…
Though he accused me of ‘overreacting’, “Are you serious!? So you actually think I cheated on you? Seriously though, you don’t care anymore either? What, no I did not cheat on you. But believe whatever you want. She’s whispering into your ear still. For one thing, those tests can be inaccurate. For another thing, this whole time, this stuff was going through your head and you didn’t think about talking about it with me, but whatever. You wanna be through with me, fine!” That hurt my feelings, it really did.
I never did anything besides love and respect you. Never once did I see another woman. So no, I can’t tell you the answers you’re looking for, but whatever we’re over, right?
You told me not to message you when I’m drinking. Why would you do that to me then? You may go to university, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot and don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to this. You’re breaking my f-ckin heart when I did NOTHING.
Boy:
I’m not the type to cheat. I don’t care what she tells you or what you think you know cuz of some stupid test. You hurt me, you really did…
My mom’s family, all my friends, know that I would never do that to anyone, let alone you. And you haven’t figured that out yet? After how long?
Oh, and my mom’s boss just stopped by. She said it’s possible you could have had a falsified test. Thank you very much for jumping the Gun on me. STDs can stay in your system for up to six months which I’ve told you before and an STD test has about what was it a 78% chance of being correct … I can’t believe this. You get a negative and immediately assume I was cheating then dumped me.
I felt like I begged him to take me back, he said he needed time, the more time he took the more I let go.
I can’t do it anymore, I can’t trust him. I try, I’ve tried so much I have nothing left to give him!
I’m broken, yet I’m trying again to love… Can I? Or when I get back to Canada this Christmas, will he get to me again, confuse me, make me unsure?
All I know is the woman I talk to is sincere, she means something to me, and that something grows every week we talk…
Every week he fades away. Please don’t come back. Just stay away until we are able to just be friends again….
Please stop me from breaking. I don’t want to use her as a crutch, so I keep a distance, but every conversation we get closer!
I’m scared and excited…
So I pour everything I have into my work and my education, so pretty soon there will be nothing to give, no reason to either. Or is that mentality worse than hanging on?
Dear me,
It’s been a year since I miscarried. Wow, has a lot happened…
Let’s start with how messed up I have had to become to realize how hypocritical I’ve been, and how hypocritical I was. I’ve been intimate with 5 different guys, and it’s taken me being in 13 different relationships to realize this, as well as having met someone I truly feel is worth my time, attention, and whole-hearted affection.
I’m telling people not to smoke, either weed or cigarettes. I’m advising them against drinking. I’m telling them not to be me.
This whole time, I’ve been tainting myself, feeling more and more like I’m worthless. Why would God even have bothered to create a royal mess like me?
Let me bear it all on my sleeve. I was a spoiled child that made my mom’s PTSD worse when I was with her. While the rest of my family was in Germany. I wallowed in self-pity because I wasn’t strong enough to tell about when I was sexually assaulted twice. Though when I was strong enough, people rejected my pain and acted as though it didn’t exist.
After that, I went into relationships trying to feel, even if it was the cold touch of another. When that didn’t help I threw myself into smokes and pot, rebelling and getting worse. I was constantly taking one step forward, and two steps back.
It was two years ago when I went over the top. After he left, I went to three others’ touch. I started dating one and fell pregnant. I was only two months along. Most think that’s not enough.
It was enough for me. I looked at that little being that passed right through me, it had caused me so much pain. It was probably nothing compared to what I had done to it and I have never been able to forgive myself.
I kept what happened a secret for months, even from its father, because he had already had a child with another girl.
My friend told me she knew what happened, I looked at her shocked thinking ‘How? I never told anyone!’. I burst into tears and told my then boyfriend.
Fast forward to today, I’m talking to someone who’s actually worthy, but how? How do you mention something so tragic without them thinking something awful about you?
It’s bad enough I can’t forgive myself, and it’s even worse that it would have been 1 year this august. I try not to imagine what my child would have looked like.
Though how do you Not?
Dear me,
Why? Why was I so ignorant and stupid?
