You are craving chocolate ice-cream at two in the night, laughing aloud one moment and feeling completely worthless the next. Your nesting instincts are on an all-time high and you want to scrub those floors sparkly clean and feed everyone some pudding.You don’t even understand why the sunset made you cry and why just the sight of that bagel can start up a session of vomiting.
Today, in the present day, I am faced with the chance of pregnancy again. Once again, to a one night (or four day) stand. We met through my old blog (since deleted) and began emailing back and forth. Not small emails either, lengthy ones that are worthy of being parts of book chapters. We were interested in each other.
Three weeks go by and he tells me that he’s broken up with the girl he was seeing. Well, that was a shock. I didn’t know there was a girl in the first place. I just ruined a relationship, maybe for good. Two days later and he invites me to his house to meet him. I was working seven days a week at that point so I put it off another week, just until my contract ended.
We kept emailing. We added each other on Facebook. We kept talking, more and more frequently. I set a date that I was going to meet him.
I arrived at his house and I didn’t know what to expect. I was in a city that I didn’t know well, about to meet a man who I had met from my blog. This was not your average situation. Still, it felt as natural as breathing. We didn’t rush anything the first couple of hours that I was there…even though we wanted to. It wasn’t until later that night, once we were truly comfortable and I had met everyone else in the house, that we began to pick things up. They were really good. It felt natural. Like a piece of the puzzle was being completed. There was this fire and spark between us that sizzled. I could feel it between us.
That was Wednesday night. I stayed there until late Saturday morning. We didn’t use condoms. He asked me if I was on the pill or injection and I said yes.
I lied.
I’m 100% not. I don’t know what possessed me to say yes. I feel bad for lying to him now but in the moment, I didn’t think anything of it. What were the chances anyway?
Well, that’s what I thought until I started counting back the days. It had been exactly two weeks after my period had finished and I was technically in the “fertile period” of my cycle. Whoops. I lied. Double whoops. I never corrected myself. Triple whoops.
I could say “whoops” all I want but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. Maybe a little part of me even wants to be pregnant, I don’t know. As I wrote that out, I felt something click. I think I’m right. Not a little part, a big, big part of me wants a child. A big, big part of me is also very scared.
It has been fifteen days since I left his house. I am writing this on 23rd February 2014. I know it’s too early for anything but I keep thinking “what if” and that what if has me excited. Immature, I know.
I guess I should let y’all know about the lad situation too.
He’s 26 and from Argentina. I’m nineteen and a resident (by birth) of New Zealand. Although I felt comfortable and like something “clicked” when I was there, there was also something slightly off. I felt like little more than a best friend. He was (and is) a great person. I respect him…but I don’t think I could date him. Not now, anyway. He thinks the same thing. We’re “friends” but I have a feeling we won’t be speaking as much now.
As twisted as it is, despite the circumstances, a small part of me still wishes that I am pregnant. How messed up is that?
When I was 14 I my boyfriend and I decided we should start a family (he was 17), well.. What were we thinking!? Anyways, about 3 months after trying to conceive, I got pregnant! But I was definitely in denial! I missed my period each month and just made myself think nothing of it, then the baby started to move and kick and it started to feel real.
Well, I was 16 and was loving life. I wasn’t the best behaved teenager. I had messed around in school and was left with nothing so was looking to get a job to sort my life out. But what happened next changed me, changed my life and my future –
Well, it was a Friday night and me and all my mates were heading out to the park to get drunk. Whilst out, I met some guys that I never before had met. Them, me, and my friend went back to the lads’ house. While she was with one, I got to know the other. This ended up with me in his bed with no protection. The next morning, we literally ran off to say the least. I just thought that was that. I would never see or speak to him again. How wrong was I!
A few weeks later, I realized I hadn’t come on my period, but thought nothing of it. Two more weeks passed and that’s when me and my mates went to Central Youth Center and I took a pregnancy test. Positive!!!
I am 17 and just found out at my gynecologist office just there to pick up a refill of my birth control on January 15, 2014 that I am pregnant with my almost 20 year old boyfriend’s baby. We have not told our families for different reasons.
When you do take the home pregnancy test, it doesn’t quite seem real. But when you see the baby and the heartbeat on the ultrasound, it’s so incredible!
It just hit me that i am going to be a mother. i have been feeling like i am getting very connected with my son now. he is totally going to be a soccer player. i am glad i get to have this experience and it is amazing.
I have been going through a lot of stuff with the father of my baby. he has not been a part of it. once he found out he decided to accuse me of cheating. He thought is that it is going to get him out of being a dad. How i see it is he will be a dad no matter what. Just because he is not a part of our babies life does not mean it will not come back and bit him in the butt. and it will!!
I feel like i should just be patient with him but another part of me is feeling that i should be preparing my self for raising my son by my self. I hope i wont have to but i probably will start to get that mind set of i am a single mom and i know i will be a lot more protective over my son after he is born.
I am really not prepared to be a mother but I’ve heard that it will come to me. so i hope i am one of the lucky ones and i turn out to be a natural mother. well i hope so.i have a feeling every thing is going to turn out okay.
