Well, everyone makes mistakes, right?
I was dating a pastor’s son … And he broke up with me because he said he lost love for me. He ended up dating another girl which turned out to soon be over. He told me that he couldn’t forget me because I was his first love. We are getting baptized soon, which means forgiveness of all our sins and starting fresh. Well on Tuesday, we had an interview at work for new improvements and so on. After the meeting, we decided to hang out. At his old elementary school. We ended up having unprotected sex. :'(
Today I’m supposed to go to the CLSC with my mother. Yes, I told my mom. She is my best friend. She wasn’t mad, but just surprised. I’m wondering, if I am pregnant, what should I do? I can’t keep it because I live with my aunt, and because he is a pastor’s son. He’s not even allowed to be doing this kind of stuff…I’m so confused ….. I want to keep it, but I’m so troubled. I… don’t know. I don’t want an abortion if it takes too long for me to decide anything. But I don’t want to make a mistake.
Please can someone help me?
I thought I was pregnant… Turns out I’m not…I’m not sure how I should feel.
I feel relieved but disappointed. I think I wanted this pregnancy more than I let myself believe… I’m a little crushed.
Is it normal to feel this way?
It’s about midnight now… I can’t sleep. I’ve had trouble sleeping since my abortion.
I was only sixteen at the time… and the dad was a total jerk… I feel completely alone. None of my friends are talking to me right now and neither is the person who promised to take care of me… This is so hard… All the time, I think about the clinic and the place I was… and the feel of my baby boy and how I couldn’t keep him. And that my other friend is so happy with their baby girl… and no one cares. I feel completely and utterly alone… and I hate this feeling. I’ve been getting ignored for two days now. I don’t understand what I did to deserve anything like this, I didn’t do anything this horrible… I miss my baby. I was seventeen weeks… and I only wanted to protect him… but maybe he’s watching me, angered by what I did… Maybe he hates me… Those are the only things I can ever think about… He seems to watch over his dad just fine… but lets me suffer constantly… I don’t want my baby to hate me for trying to protect him… Protect him from the irresponsible dad he could’ve had… Or the separation from me that he would have suffered… It’s not fair… My boyfriend didn’t want to protect him and he’s completely fine, and I did…
And now I’m upset all night and I can’t sleep…
I started talking to this boy I met in January. We used to hang out every single day so we decided to go on a date to catch up. I told him I had a baby now, and told him about my ex and everything else that had happened since we stopped talking.
He was shocked that I had a baby, but he wanted to meet her so I brought him back to my house. He absolutely loved her.
We started hanging out all the time and he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I asked him if it would be weird since I had a baby and he said that he doesn’t care if it was his or not. He would treat her like she was his, no matter what.
She loves him. Every time she sees him, she giggles and smiles the whole time.
A few months later, he proposed and I said Yes!
About a week ago, he was talking about when he left for basic training and was joking about me being pregnant and he said that he would be happy if I was… I was like well, squish that thought because it’s not gonna happen!
The very next morning… I got sick. He looked at me, laughed, and said “Told you”. I said I’m not pregnant, I’m just sick. But then I realized my boobs had been hurting too. I told him I was going to get food and got 2 tests. I took 1 when I got home and it was negative. I threw it at him and said told you…
4th of July, we were going to have a HUGE party. (I never party. I’m ALWAYS with my daughter. I haven’t had a night without her since she was born.) So I was going to drink. She was going to be with his mom and sisters so I knew she would be safe. I woke up 4th of July and went to the bathroom and there was a light red/pink color blood in my panties. So just for the hell of it, I took the other test to be safe since I was going to be drinking that night…POSITIVE!
So, for the first 4 months of this pregnancy, I’ll be alone! 🙁
So, I’m 3 weeks and 4 days pregnant (maybe). My boyfriend’s at camp and I’m making it through, sorta. I’m still trying to decide if I am pregnant. Because this morning, I had soccer training and we ran about 30 lengths of a football field, take or give a few if you will, and I was winded, but I wasn’t in the shape where I couldn’t do it anymore. Can a girl while she’s pregnant exercise intensely? Because I have soccer basically every day, give or take a few days and I’m not in any pain or anything, well pregnancy-wise, but still keep in mind, I’m not officially sure if I am or not.
And as for baby names, we have talked about it and if it’s a boy we’re naming him Bentley Wes, and if it’s a girl: Nevaeh Ivory 🙂 But we aren’t sure if we’re keeping the baby, even though it would be a very wise and mature decision to look into adoption. But, if I enrolled in a maternity high school or whatever they are called, we might be able to raise the baby ourselves. But then again, we’re only 14-year-olds and not parent material.
I still haven’t told my parents, I want to wait awhile and see if I actually am. Because I don’t want to tell them now and then later have it be a false alarm.
I’ll write another blog later 🙂 Tell me what you think about the names, or anything else you think would be a bright idea 🙂
<3
I’m 16 years old and I’m a senior.
Me and my bf (now ex) started dating on January 15th. He was a year younger than me, 4 grades behind me, and soo immature. He cheated on me a few times and I kept letting it go (not sure why). In August, I started getting really depressed and cutting myself (because of family issues). My dad died on November 24th and my mom died on March 13th, two years later. So I was forced to live with my sister, her 3 kids, my little brother, and her husband… He hit me all the time and pretty much made me hate myself. In September, I was put in a mental hospital. They had to do all kinds of tests when I first got there just to check everything… One of them was a pregnancy test… It was positive.
I went home 3 days later. I wasn’t going to tell my boyfriend about the baby…I wasn’t getting an abortion. I guess I was just planning on telling him it wasn’t his because I knew he wouldn’t want it and wouldn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t tell my sister because they would’ve kicked me out. In December, I turned 16, started partying a lot, skipping school, sneaking out, and spending a lot of time with boys. My friend made me meet her ex because she thought we would be perfect together. We liked each other and spent almost every day together, I was going to dump my boyfriend for him, but my friend decided to lie to both of us. She told me he had a gf and he didn’t really want me and was telling him lies about me… We ended up going our separate ways and I stayed with my baby’s dad, In February, I found out what I was having (at first I didn’t want to know) and I decided to tell my boyfriend that I was pregnant… I was barely showing. I didn’t actually look pregnant till about 7 1/2 weeks. I had her a few months later. We stayed together for a few more months then he cheated on me so I left him.
Read part 2 if you want to know the more recent story!
