Hey Dad, I’m Late!

Hi Jewel,

I was 19 years old when I got pregnant. My mom and sister already got their menstrual period so I was thinking maybe I’m just delayed or something. But then again thoughts came to my mind.

We just moved in Canada. Before we left the Philippines I had sex with my boyfriend. I was thinking maybe I’m just so stressed about living in another country, a new home, new environment, everything, that I was late.

I kept fighting the feeling that “maybe I am pregnant”.

Then I searched the symptoms of pregnancy.. and as days passed by.. these symptoms are starting to appear.. I was afraid to go to the doctor because of my negative thoughts.. the doctor might say that “You’re so young and pregnant”.. I was afraid to face the truth and what people with think of me.. 5 months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. so I’m wondering.. maybe I should  get a pregancy test kit.. so I went to the pharmacy and got one.. I came home and tried it.. in my shock “I AM PREGNANT!”..

Oh my gosh! I didn’t know what to do.. My parents expect a lot from me.. I’m in college.. still adjusting to this new country.. and my family are still adjusting.. We have money problems and we have a lot of problems.. and I called my boyfriend and we thought of abortion..I really don’t want to abort my child.. but thinking of my father hot headedness.. my mother budgeting the expenses.. I’m still in college.. no money.. and my ambitions to have a healthy and wealthy life before I have a child and to be married first before having a child.. This was soo unexpected.. So I searched the net for abortion.. and I found this clinic where they do abortion.. They put me first for counselling.. and you know what.. While I was talking to the counsellor.. I wanted to cry.. but I kept on saying to myself..

“Don’t cry.. Don’t let them see that you’re weak.. that  deep inside of me.. I really don’t want to abort this baby..”.. I am a Catholic.. and in our religion.. an abortion is a big NO!.. never to be done.. so I said to myself while crying.. “This is final! I’m going to abort my baby!”.. but you know what.. every time I’m thinking of abortion.. my baby kept on kicking.. like she wants to say “Mommy please don’t do this!”.. Days and nights have passed.. and still I’m crying inside.. if there is only no choice not to do this abortion.. and guess what! God made a miracle..

I’m 20 weeks pregnant.. and they can’t do abortion in this place! They only do abortion for 19 weeks of pregnancy! Oh thank God!! So I said to myself! I will keep this baby and never ever thought of aborting it again! Whatever happens.. this is my baby.. if my dad can’t accept it.. so what! This is not his baby! It’s mine! It’s made with my own flesh!!

Then months passed and my tummy is getting bigger.. and I wear loose clothes so that they will not notice.. but  my mom noticed it.. and kept on asking me if I was pregnant.. but then again.. I kept on denying it.. until the day.. she and I went out to have lunch.. and she asked me again if I was pregnant.. then I said to myself.. “Tell now! this is the time! You can’t keep this forever!”.. so I told her.. she didn’t get mad… instead she was asking me.. Did I go to a doctor to have a prenatal check-up?! TShe told me.. “This is life on your womb!”.. and I said “Yes!”.. and to my surprise my younger sister was the first one to found put the I was preggy.. she run through my things and saw my appointment for an ultrasound.. and my sister was the one that told my mom that I was pregnant.. They are just waiting for me to confirm it.. but as you all know.. my family is not a happy family.. my mom and dad is not in a good condition… my dad is a very hot headed person.. so me.. my sister and my mom kept my pregnancy from my dad.. Everyone know except my dad.. so I kept on praying to God..  “Please God! Hear my prayer! please lighten my dad when the time comes!” and everyone was helping me through their prayers.. and I cried to virgin Mary to ask God to grant my wish.. My pregnancy due date is January.. and months passed.. then December came.. My mom kept on telling me to tell my dad that I’m pregnant.. Ok! may you’re wondering I’m 8 month pregnant.. and my dad haven’t noticed it.. Well.. I’m 8 month and my tummy is not that big yet.. I wear very loose clothes to hide it.. and I’m good at it..

It was December 24th that I decided to tell my dad.. I wrote him a letter and slipped it in his jacket.. when he got home.. to my surprise.. he didn’t get angry.. instead.. he told me that this baby is a gift from God.. it is a blessing.. but deep inside I know my parents are hurt.. but when the baby came out.. everyone just lightens up.. my family got closer.. my dad hot headedness was lessen.. everyone was happy.. yah! there are still complications in my family.. but  the baby is here to bring happiness.. so I called my baby “A miracle from God!”.. My baby’s name meaning is “My father is God!”.. she is a happy baby that loves to smile.. she brings happiness.. Babies are cute! Right! So guys! don’t abort your baby! Whatever it takes.. Whatever fear you have.. it will pass away as years or months go by! Just think “THIS IS MY BABY AND IT’S NOT YOURS! THIS IS GOD’S BABY! WHATEVER IT TAKES! WHATEVER THEY SAY! I DON’T CARE! THIS IS MY BABY! IT CAME FROM MY FLESH! I MADE HER!”.. as you all know.. “EVERY BABY IS A MIRACLE FROM GOD”..=)

Hello Nathalie,

My name is Rachel and I work with Becky here at Stand Up Girl. Your story is so inspiring! It really touched my heart. You are a true Stand Up Girl! I have a daughter too, and they really are miracles from God. The feeling you have when you become a mother is one that will stay with you for the rest of your life. It is amazing.

I am so thankful that you chose to not have an abortion. Just think about how different your life would be today! I can’t imagine now not having my daughter. Going to school and working, and trying to be the best mom that I can be is hard work, but it is all worth it. I would do it all over and over again just for my daughter, as I’m sure you would too.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!  🙂

Love, Rachel

Pretty Pregnant

When I was young I’ve always ask my mom what’s the feeling of pregnant, she always says, “It’s very hard because I couldn’t do what I’ve ever wanted. Like drinking soda, eating my favorite junk foods. But in the other side of my mind, it’s very good feeling in a mom’s heart. When the time for me to give birth of to my child, I would feel happiness. During childbirth, I saw in my mom’s face the pain, that’s when I promised to myself that I will never be a mother because I think that it is very painful. But now that I am giving birth to a child I understand what my mom told me before, it is very good in feeling to be a mother but it is hard being pregnant.

Regret at 18

I was 18 years old when I’d only been dating my then – boyfriend for a year. We’d used condoms each time we had sex, until one night he asked me one question; “Are you afraid to go without one?” In the heat of the moment, already in position, I said “no.” Ever since then, he never wanted to wear them again; he said he couldn’t feel anything with it. Sometimes I didn’t want to be intimate in that matter, but somehow he persuaded me and I wasn’t on birth control. One day, my period was late and I called him. I’d never been late before so all I told him is that I needed to tell him something when I saw him. When we were together face to face, I told him that I’d missed my period. He said he thought I might call him and then asked me if I thought I was pregnant. I told him that I didn’t know. We went to a local drugstore and picked up a pregnancy test. As I took the test awaiting the results, the display read, “positive.” I was numb and couldn’t process the reality. He asked me what I wanted to do. My numbness turning into confusion and thinking about how disappointed my mother would be, I told him that I couldn’t have the baby. We took a drive to see my cousin, which was his friend and he told him that I was pregnant. The first thing he asked me was if I was 18 and if I wanted to get rid of it. My emotions were drastically changing and fear was rushing in. I told him yes.

I kept thinking about my babies and praying for forgiveness. I kept thinking that I was a horrible person as I replayed the thought in my head that I killed my children. I took my mother’s grand babies away. There are women who can’t even have children. I had no peace. I still couldn’t forgive myself even though God had. I’d repented of my sin as I was on my knees in tears for God to forgive me. Yet, memories were still there. Several years later, I felt like I needed to share my story with another close relative, afterward, I felt more relief. I almost felt free. I joined a Christian group to prepare for future marriage and did a challenge developed to break cycles. I decided to break the cycle of feeling guilt and shame for my abortions. The 1st day I did a fast and each day of the challenge I was able to overcome a new thing. I kept praying and by a certain date, I was freed.

More to read:

My abortion story at 17

Sophmore in College

StandUpGirl More Real Stories

12 Years Old – My story

My story starts when I was 11. I was being raped by someone I knew. The day after I turned 12 I found out I was about 6 1/2 months pregnant. I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. They had to tell my father he was so sad.

We hid it from my mother as long as we could but when she found out she took me away from my father. Shortly after my father almost died, he slipped into a coma and the doctors said he wouldn’t make it. I had so much to think about, possibly losing my father and also adoption or keeping my child… I was so confused I looked into adoption and even found a family but they knew I wasn’t sure on my decision.

I decided to keep my child and on 12/25/16 my son Joaquin was born. On 12/23/16 my father woke up from a coma able to talk and had his memory. We stayed in the hospital for 5 days before we were able to go home. Within 8 months I was in foster care because my mom didn’t want me and soon after my son went in to. I went through the system for a few years they tried sending me home to my mothers it just didn’t work out. Eventually a judge sent me to my father I was so happy! My father fought with everything he had to get me. My son lived with my mom and I saw him everyday he even stayed some nights with us.

In may of 2017 my father passed away I forced to go back to my moms house. I was in and out of her house because she didn’t want me there and on July 25 of 2017 I went back into foster care and am now living in a transitional living program, my son still lives with my mom. I’m currently working on the process to do a 3rd party guardianship till I’m able to get my own place and do it all on my own. I talk to my son everyday and see him every weekend Friday to Monday when I go home to visit. I am currently in college about to finish my first quarter. There is so much more to my story but its just so much to write.

Pregnant & Nervous

Hi. I’m 17. And a few days ago I found out I was pregnant. I’m nervous, I don’t know how to tell my mom. I’m scared of how she will react. And the money isn’t the best right now. I don’t want her to hate me, we have problems anyways. I am just so scared to tell her and see how she will react. We fight a lot anyways. Can anyone give advice on how to bring it out and tell her, like what should I say? anything would help right now..

More Resources:

Podcast – How to tell my parents I am pregnant

 

My Sister Had an Abortion

Hi my sister had an abortion when she was around 15 or 16 and I have no one I talk to. The baby wasn’t growing right and likely wouldn’t survive. My friend found out somehow and told my other friend.

I am still not allowed to talk to them about it even thought they know. The boy who got my sister pregnant was emotionally abusive and she lost almost all of her friends because of it.

She goes to therapy every two weeks but she never talks about what happens there or what they talk about. She usually wants to be alone after. She wasn’t sure if she would still go to heaven.

It’s been one year since she had an abortion and she is still mad at the boy understandably. I just wanted to say something because I’ve never told anyone. Thanks for your time. Have a blessed day.