Dear Becky,
All of these girls need to know life is not always perfect and things happen for a reason. We may not know why at first, but someday we will know. All teen moms are not bad, even though the media makes it look that way. I got pregnant at 14 and had a beautiful baby boy, that was 18 years ago. It was hard, I’m not going to lie, but I finished school, married his dad and we are still together with not only our boy, but also a beautiful 13 year old girl.
Everyone told me our son would never have a good life because of me being a teen mom and I should give him up. They were wrong! He has always been good in school, he is very smart and has just as much as anyone born to an older parent. He is in the technology honor society and has never been in trouble. I count my blessings everyday and am glad I didn’t listen to all the people that had only bad things to say. He graduates in June and I am so proud of him. He has over come all the odds that I was told were against him, because of me being so young.
My point to this story is, you make your own future!! Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you can’t do it. You may have to work a little harder, but the life of your child can be as good as anyone else’s. Just stay strong and look forward, not back!! Being a young mother doesn’t stop your life from happening. Stay strong!
Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson went viral earlier this year when he talked about his views, asking America about abortion, “What in the world happened to us?”
Robertson said at the time: “Listen, from the time you started inside your mother’s womb, Thomas Jefferson had it right, you have the God-given right to life for crying out loud. You’re this long (pointing to his finger). You’re a week old inside your mother. They suck you out of there when you’re about like that (point to finger again). You wouldn’t be here tonight!”
Now, he and his wife Missy have also put forward an exhortation to practice virginity until marriage.
During the K-Love fan awards this summer, the pair shared about their faith in God and how they’re using their popularity to reach people. They talk about their views in favor of abstinence.
Jase Robertson says: “We were both virgins when we got married until our wedding night. We decided to do it God’s way and basically had a godly agreement that we would help each other get to heaven. A lot of people just think that that’s unreasonable or preposterous. But you know, if everybody chose to do it God’s way, the world would be a lot better off.”
“What attracted us to each other was what we saw in each other in our faith,” Missy, Jase’s wife, said.
“We’ve been very happy for 22 years before the money started coming in,” she added.
Missy said they can now see the same commitment in their children.
“And what an influence we can have on our children with that testimony. Our oldest son has been dating a great girl for over a year and a half and they also have the same commitment,” she said. “So it’s just such a wonderful joyous time as a parent to see that and the commitment they have as children wanting to do that also.”
Jase added the world will benefit if they followed God’s desire. “A lot of people just think that that’s unreasonable or preposterous,” he said. “But you know, if everybody chose to do it God’s way, the world would be a lot better off.”
My daughter is my pride and joy. I think its import to tell you that I am PROUD of my daughter—and I had her when I was 17. I found out I was pregnant two weeks into my senior year of high school. This was not the senior year I had envisioned for myself. I was so scared. I felt alone and was terrified to tell anyone. I was very active in my school and I was well known. I thought everyone would be so disappointed and not want anything to do with me. I thought I would be deserted and left to fend for myself.
The secret became too much to handle on my own so eventually I told my boyfriend and parents. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but after I did, I felt so much better. A huge weight had been taken off my shoulders, but I still had a long way to go. My boyfriend was shocked and so scared. He had dreams and goals for his life and this would change everything. We thought our lives were over. I was depressed; getting out of bed was a struggle every single day. Eventually I realized that my life was not over, it just changed paths. When I changed my attitude, my whole outlook on my pregnancy changed. Every day I would look at myself and say “I can do this.”
Throughout my pregnancy I had my ups and downs: At times I convinced myself that my life was over. At times I told myself I wouldn’t be a good mom. I didn’t think I was good enough, but the second I saw my daughter I knew I did the right thing keeping her. From the moment I laid eyes on that precious little body I couldn’t imagine my life without her. My whole life was turned upside down. Everything changed once I became pregnant, but it was for the better. My boyfriend and I grew so much closer throughout my pregnancy. We got married and are so happy. Being young parents isn’t easy, but we are an extremely happy and blessed family. Even my relationship with my parents improved. Telling my parents I was pregnant was the scariest thing I had ever done. It took them some time to come to terms with my pregnancy but now they couldn’t be happier as grandparents. I’m not saying it will be easy, sometimes it won’t, but choosing life is worth all the struggle. This isn’t what I had originally planned for my life, but now I, my husband, and parents wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dear Becky-
We adopted our one and only boy almost eight years ago. His birth mom chose us out of so many wonderful families. There are no words to describe this amazing, most awesome experience. The birth mom asked if I wanted to watch our son be born. Of course I said, YES. He is absolutely the most amazing little boy, who is growing much to fast.
We wanted to adopt another baby, I am still hoping and praying. I am so extremely grateful to his birth mom for choosing adoption for him. She loved him so much, that she gave him life, and the opportunity for a family like ours to love him so very much. God Bless you birth mom. We love you.
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That is such a beautiful, encouraging story! I would love to include it on our site. Would that be okay with you?
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Yes, of course. I am honored that you want to tell our story, because it is so amazing. What I didn’t tell you, and our son will never know, that his birth mom was thinking of having an abortion with him. She went to to see a doctor for this very thing and she had a councilor talk to her about her choices. At that point she decided she wanted to give birth to him, and allow a family who could not have a baby of their own to adopt him. What an amazing thing to do for her baby, and our family. I’ll never stop telling our story to everyone, and I am the proud mother of three amazing children, and grandmother to one. Thank you for allowing me to share our amazing adoption experience.
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Thank you so much! Your story is just so amazing…what a brave and selfless thing that young lady did. And what a wonderful choice she made to entrust her son to your loving family. It is just so uplifting to hear.
Dear Jewel-
I’m so confused and don’t know what to do. I think I’m a month pregnant as I have been experiencing a lot of pregnancy symptoms. I haven’t told my boyfriend, as we are experiencing major problems and he is with another woman. I’m not ready to be a parent as I’m 19 and in college, but I do believe that kids are a great gift and love them, but actually I don’t how to tell him and my parents. He is with another woman, but I don’t want him to choose me because of the baby.
Hi,
That is a really hard situation to be in. You are not alone, though, okay? I am here to walk through this with you and help you out in any way I can:) Take a deep breath…try not to jump too far ahead. First of all, have you missed your period? If you have, then take a pregnancy test…then at least you’ll know for sure what is going on. And then you can go from there.
Here is a website that you can go to that will help you find a Pregnancy Help Center near you…
Optionline.org/get-help
Go there and type in where you live. A list of places in your area should come up on the screen. Contact one of them and they will be able to give you a FREE and confidential pregnancy test. Please keep in touch and let me know how everything goes with that, okay?
Hi Jewel,
I took a pregnancy test and yes I’m pregnant and this was my worst fear, but then its done…now I’m actually confused and don’t have anyone to talk to , I am just all alone.
Hi again,
Good for you for taking the test. I know it’s scary. It’s almost like you don’t want to know, so you put off taking the test. At least that’s how I was. So how are you doing with everything, now that you know for sure that you are pregnant? Have you told anyone (besides me) yet?
Hi Jewel,
Well I don’t really know for sure how I feel because one minute I’m fine with everything and the next I’m crying about it. Its just that I love my baby in me, but its just gonna put my life on hold as I am supposed to finish my honors degree next year. If I keep the baby I will have one year added to my studies, so I just don’t know if its worth it. I did tell my boyfriend only and he is still in shock, but I just get the feeling that he does not care about this baby or me actually.
How are you doing lately?
Well my boyfriend asked me to do an abortion. I have not been coping well with the situation.
Hi-
Oh how my heart goes out to you…that sounds really hard to deal with. I know what you are going through…at least somewhat. I remember having this really sinking feeling when I missed my period. I had all the pregnancy symptoms. I knew, even before I took the pregnancy test, that I must be pregnant. My periods were usually so regular. I finally got up the nerve to take a test…and sure enough it turned out positive. 🙁
Then I remember lying awake so many nights, trying to figure out what to do. I was terrified to tell anyone. No one was expecting to hear news like this from me. Never in a million years. This definitely wasn’t part of my plan.
Finally I got up the courage to tell my parents. My dad yelled and my mom cried…not sure which reaction was worse. 🙁 Over time, though, they ended up being very supportive, though. When my little girl was born, you should have seen my dad…he seriously was the proudest grandpa ever. It was so amazing to see. Do you think it would be any easier to break the news of your pregnancy by writing your parents a letter?
I have not once regretted my decision to have my baby and raise her. She has brought more joy into my life…and into this world than I ever could have imagined. Yes, I’ve been through many ups and downs through it all..but it has been SO ENTIRELY WORTH IT. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Seriously. I’ll never forget the moment when I got to hold my little girl in my arms for the very first time. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I just stared and stared at her. She was so perfect, so tiny…so beautiful.
You CAN do this, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t…even your baby’s father. Definitely don’t make the decision based on what he thinks. Make the decision for you and your baby. I have talked to so many girls who have deep, deep regrets after choosing to abort their baby. And you what’s really sad? Often times the guy leaves her anyway, even if she does go through with the abortion. You don’t want to be there.
You feel a love for your baby already, and that love is only going to grow. 🙂 And you can still go on to achieve all your dreams. You really can. I have talked to so many girls who say they actually went on to do even MORE than they had planned because they had someone else to do it for…their child.
Stand strong…be true to yourself. And you will have a deep peace, knowing that you are doing something so worthwhile…so worth doing.
Please keep in touch, okay? You are not alone…I am here anytime you need someone to talk to.
Hi Becky,
Its been difficult but I have managed and I decided to keep my baby even though the father is not happy and not supportive about my decision, but I have accepted that I am gonna raise my baby as a single parent. I have also told my friends and they have been so supportive ever since the first day, but then I have not told my parents yet… but plan to do so after my exams in a months time. I am actually so excited about having this baby and I have had this feeling I have never felt before and now I am 3 months and 3 weeks. I am just taking one day at a time, but I’m so happy about my decision and would not wish to change it. I can just say that I am enjoying my pregnancy so far…
Wow! I am so happy to hear that you decided to keep your baby.:) Good for you for following your heart… for standing strong. 🙂 I’m sorry to heart that your baby’s father has not been there for you. That is so sad. Sad for him, because he won’t get to share in the joy of parenting this new little baby. I’m glad to hear that your friends are being supportive. That is so great. It will make a huge difference to have them by your side through everything. Have you been to see a doctor yet? It would be a good idea to go and see one, just to get a check up, and all the info on health and nutrition for you and your baby. Thanks for writing back to me. I’m just so happy for you!! Keep in touch, okay? I would love to hear how everything is going along the way. 🙂
Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I was 31 when i became pregnant. It was an unplanned pregnancy as I had been saving myself for my husband, but that person was not to be my husband and I have a beautiful baby girl. This pregnancy was through rape..this hurt me so so much at the time, I was told to take the morning after pill. Being pro life I knew that would kill my baby if there was to be a life there.
The person I trusted, just broke my life in two. He is not sorry and to this day he isn’t even aware that he did anything wrong.
My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I felt like ending my life so many times, through my pregnancy. But to kill me, that would kill my baby. I saw my baby at 9wks..what a change to my life..she was a survivor full of life, I couldn’t believe my eyes! I always wanted the family, hubby, house etc..now its just me and my baby..tough going but worth it! She is my reason for living..she didn’t destroy my life she gave my life, new life..girls it’s tough but when you’re given this chance grab it, to me my daughter is a hug in pink from God!!
I believed her dad would change, but no, it was not to be. If any body is in a relationship where abuse is taking place, read this book called the “Broken Vow”. Read the back pages as there is a list to help you decide to keep a guy around. I decided this person isn’t someone I want in my daughter’s life. because he is not a good person. He is controlling and manipulating. Sometimes when we are in so deep we can’t see it, but I thank God for the insight into this now.
Before I let my daughter be the next victim of his dangerous ways, I am trying hard to forgive myself for letting him into our life after the 9 months on my own, I should have kept walking, but I felt this was the right thing to do. We would be a family and when he saw our daughter he would want to change, how silly was I. I only wanted us to be a family so that I would feel better for what happened because he took away the one beautiful thing I was so looking forward to.
The only thing today that keeps me sane is knowing that God is the creator and we are his instruments and he chose ME to be a Mother. He knows I can do it..we all can, that is what women do best! I have my baby now to comfort me, if I had aborted her I would be left with a void..we do it all together..go to the park, play games, read stories. She is amazing…Abortion is never the answer and always seek proper help if you are ever in a dilemma. You are not alone, knowing that kept me alive. Hope, we all have hope.
