It’s that time of year again. But as the whole world seems to be dizzy with decorating, spending and cooking up a storm, there are others who aren’t catching onto the festive spirit. Some are holding themselves back from all the joy floating around in the air. A deep tingling in the hearts of all people, fulfilling a long ago uttered prophecy by the angels to some shepherds during the first noel “On earth, peace and goodwill to all people.”
It seems like the season for dreaming, and hoping, whether it’s for a new pair of stilettos or for an opportunity to mend bridges with family and friends. Maybe the reason why everything seems possible around Christmas is because no matter who we are- or what we believe- the idea that God came down to earth as a little baby for you and me makes anything else possible.
And yet as the whole world seems to be dizzy with decorating, spending and cooking up a storm, there are others who aren’t catching onto the festive spirit. Some are holding themselves back from all the joy floating around in the air – women who feel isolated from the holiday bliss because of an abortion.
As a moderator, I find the “After the choice” forum most heartbreaking to moderate. For so many, their choice has betrayed them, and they desperately wish they could turn back the clock and undo everything.
To so many hurting girls out there, struggling with the guilt and depression of termination, the most wonderful part of Christmas can become a source of shame and hurt. I can only imagine how they feel when they walk past a nativity scene with that perfect baby Jesus and his loving mother. Or, when mourning an aborted child, they go to a Christmas party only to be greeted by friends and relatives showing off growing bumps or new babies. They feel unworthy of God’s love and sacrifice – maybe more acutely than they would at any other time. And instead of the festive season being all the wonderful things it used to be in the past, it hurts.
If you are one of these girls, I want you to know that when God sent his son to be born on earth, it was because he desired to be close to us, no matter how imperfect and flawed we were. He still took the first step towards drawing close to us. And he is the same today. Christmas isn’t the time for you to withdraw into yourself because of shame and hurt. It’s the time to reach out for him. He knows you’re hurting and he doesn’t hate you, he isn’t rejecting you – he is longing to draw near and comfort you. He has even recorded all your tears, because it hurts him when you hurt. You can’t mend your broken heart, but he can. After all, he made your heart.
If you try to carry this burden on your own, it will kill you slowly on the inside. I know it may seem like you can never forgive yourself for what you went through, but if you take the time to let God hold you close in His arms and in His tender, loving forgiveness- there will come a day when you will forgive yourself.
This festive season, accept the gift of His love and forgiveness… You have nothing to lose. And talk to someone else about your pain, too. Send Becky a letter, and she or one of us will help you through this. You don’t have to be alone.
I am a Masters student in Clinical Psychology, at the University of Pretoria, South Africa. As part of my Masters program, I am writing a dissertation on the impact of Post-abortion distress on the relationships of women. I am interested to learn about the experiences of women who have struggled through the ordeal of having to terminate a pregnancy and I need volunteers who would be willing to share their experiences with me. Anyone who has had an abortion within the last 10 years is eligible to partake in the study. If this is you, and you want to share your experience, please contact me on 079 453 9980 or 
for more information. Participation is confidential and interviews will be handled with sensitivity. Alternatively, if you know someone who might be eligible and willing to participate please forward this notice to her.
I appreciated your willingness to help.
Kind Regards
Suné Botha (Researcher)
079 453 9980
I’m not one to get excited by forwarded e-mail. But this one came from a dear friend, so I read it. And right off the bat, I was hooked. I don’t know who originally wrote this, but her words are timeless and true. And so I share them with you, the Stand Up Moms.
*Invisible Mother*…..
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’
(more…)
Every girl, every woman, makes mistakes. It’s inevitable. Unfortunately, we put the spotlight on our mistake allowing ourselves to feel shame or to feel inferior to others. But we should turn off the spotlight and only be concerned with whether or not we started making right decisions after our mistakes. No one can change the past. Not possible. Can’t happen. We live in the now, and can make the future different than the past. It’s never too late to turn a mistake into an opportunity.
Everyone needs to accept that they are not perfect; therefore, in their past there are going to be blunders. Everyone has these blunders – even the best of us. When you make a mistake the first thing you have to do is accept it, but after that, you have to make the decision to not let the mistake define you. If you make a mistake that you regret you are in good company. There is nothing new under the sun and there is no mistake that you have made that someone else has not already made.
(more…)
I recently had a bout with Lyme disease. I was visiting my best friend in California and we decided to go hiking in the woods. Later that night I discovered that I had been bitten by a tick. About two weeks later I came down with some really weird symptoms so I went to see the doctor right away. He put me on heavy doses of medication and referred me to see a specialist. When I saw the specialist he asked me if there was a possibility that I could have syphilis. He was asking because Lyme disease and syphilis look very similar.
(more…)
Former supermodel Kathy Ireland, who became famous in the 1980s and 90s for her appearances on the cover of Sports Illustrated, is not holding back.
Ireland has publicly opposed abortion since at least 1998, when she argued that the beginning of life at conception is a medically established fact as a guest on Politically Incorrect. However, she says, her views are becoming better known, and she has suffered some retaliation.
“I mean it’s been interesting, on this book tour this week there have been shows that have canceled me, speeches that have canceled. In my first book Powerful Inspirations: Eight Lessons that Will Change Your Life, I talk in depth about the life issue and how I came to that, and as people have learned that, it’s very interesting,” she told Mike Huckabee on Fox.
“From the moment of conception a new life comes into being, the DNA, the genetic blueprint is there, the sex is determined, the blood type is determined, the unique set of fingerprints is there,” Ireland told Huckabee.
“According to the law of biogenesis, all life comes from preexisting life, and each species reproduces after its own kind, therefore human beings can only reproduce other human beings, so it doesn’t start out as one species and suddenly become a human being somewhere along the way,” she said.
Noting that she began with the “pro-choice” position, even while a Christian, Ireland says that she changed her mind after researching the topic using her husband’s medical manuals.
However, Ireland said she didn’t want to believe what she was seeing, so she called Planned Parenthood to get their response.
“And I picked up the phone, I called Planned Parenthood. ‘Help me out here, give me your best arguments’. And the best arguments were, ‘Well, it’s just a clump of cells. If you get it early enough it doesn’t even look like a baby.'”
However, noted Ireland, “We’re clumps of cells, and that unborn human being does not look like a baby the same way a baby does not look like a teenager, a teenager does not look like a senior, but that unborn human being looks exactly the way human beings are supposed to look at that stage of development, and that human life continues to grow and change.”
In a later interview with Fox’s Pop Tarts, Ireland compared abortion to child abuse, and said that it should be illegal in all cases except saving the life of the mother.
“If we’re about to demolish a building we make absolute certain there are no human beings in there before we take a wrecking ball to it, but the unborn doesn’t have a voice so it’s up to us to speak for them,” Ireland told Pop Tarts. “If I see someone abusing a child I am going to stand up against that, and that’s how I feel about abortion. Women are not given all the facts, they’re told it is a harmless procedure and now it has turned into such a political football.”
Ireland is on a tour to promote her book, Real Solutions for Busy Moms, which reportedly contains a chapter on her religious beliefs. She says she experienced a conversion to Christianity at the age of 18 while reading a Bible her mother packed for her during a trip to Europe on a modeling job.
In addition to reversing her former pro-abortion stance, Ireland also expressed regrets in 2002 for some of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition photos that helped to establish her fame as a
“supermodel.”
“There were many suits I did not feel comfortable wearing and simply wouldn’t,” she said. “There were certain times there would be images that I’d look at in retrospect and I was not pleased with how they turned out. I would think, ‘Oh, that looks different than I had hoped.'”
Asked if the photos were too revealing, Ireland said that “some of them did come across that way, but my goal is that as I mature in my faith, my actions would be more and more according to God’s will.”
