alot on my mind

Bleh… It feels like everyday when I go to school, I’m miserably exhausted. I just pull through each day because I know I NEED to get through school. I don’t want to be tempted to drop out. I’m hoping to go to this school close to my town for pregnant teens. It’s at Rockville Hospital and they give you two months off for having your baby, and then after you have it, you can bring your baby to school, and they take care of it while you’re in your classes.

My little problem here is that I HATE the school I’m in right now. It seems like every school I go to never works out. But for the first time in a while, I’m getting good grades. So my mom thinks I should stick it out until the end of the year, but I have my baby in May (May 20th), so I definitely don’t want to be going to a mixed-up school with 6th- 8th graders and having them ask me questions. I’m supposed to be graduating this year. I was stupid and didn’t want to do my work for two years so I stayed back twice.

So I’m in tenth grade. Next year I’ll be 11th, but it’s taking soo long and it feels like I’m going to be in school forever. Now in addition to going to school, I work two jobs to save up money. My boyfriend is 19, so he already graduated from high school but he doesn’t have a job.

Well in addition, I have to deal with court issues. I still have like a hundred hours to complete, by May 18th.

sixteen,pregnant,confused/happy?

Well, as you can tell, sixteen and pregnant. The only people that know are my boyfriend, his sister, and my best friend.

We are kind of happy about it, but also terrified of what our parents will do. My family is hard-core catholic and his congregationalist. We will both probably get kicked out, but we both want this baby.

Any suggestions??

Back on track?!

So were trying again… We decided we can’t wait…

Well, I say trying, but those of you who I’ve started speaking to will know we don’t really get to ”try” very often at all, so I know when it happens. It was supposed to happen because for now, me getting pregnant will be an off-chance sorta thing…

Oh, and good news…well…kinda… My cousin’s pregnant! Yeah… We were talking yesterday and she seems to be better coming around to the idea. So I’m happy for her. What’s strange is I had a dream ages ago that she came over here to have a baby and she had a girl and I was pregnant with a boy… So fingers crossed…I get a boy…I know she probably wants a girl. Plus, what’s cool is that in the dream, it was summer and her baby’s due on July 1! How amazing is that!?

But yah, so happy news all around really and we’ll just have to wait a couple weeks to see if we’ve ben successful… If not, then maybe next time… Wish me luck!

🙂

So sick

I’m 3 weeks preggers with my 2nd child.

I have been getting horrible morning sickness. It’s been hard doin’ it alone. I stay home with my son while my boyfriend is at work. He doesn’t come home until 11:30 every night. So I get to deal with the regular things (laundry, cleaning, cooking, my son….the pregnancy).

It’s all a little overwhelming. But we’ll make it through.

Story of mah life

I was 18 when my whole world turned downside up.

It all happened after I lost control of my life. I was 17 and started my freedom as an adult in college. I made a lot of bad choices doing drugs and drinking a lot. To the point where I woke up in the hospital. Hours later, I was being kicked out, and I had only been in college for only 2 months. Then I turned 18. When I went back home, I was very angry and still out of control from the drugs. Me and my mom fought a lot, so I ran away.

Then I met LC, who I met through a friend. Even though he was a little older than me (14 years old), I felt drawn to him. He let me stay with him. A few weeks later, SURPRISE, I was pregnant. So I continued living with LC but I missed my mom so I went back home. My mom was very happy to have me back. Then I had her… It took 2 weeks to tell her but It finally got out. LC and I broke up when I was 4 months pregnant. Then we got back together when I was 6 months. It stuck and I was so happy that he and my mom were there when I had my 7 lb 3 oz little boy.

LC and I are still together going on 4 years. I just turned 22 and our son will be 3 soon. And I’m 3 weeks pregnant with my 2nd who got a long time to go. I thank God for my son. He has really brought my head out of the gutter and made me a completely different person….a person with meaning.