I’m scared. And alone.

The guy (baby’s father, football player, my (sorta) ex, whatever you want to call him) found out about me being pregnant. Well, I told him. Over the past few months, we’d really begun to be good together, and this just all crumbled. I guess I was stupid to think that a smart, good-looking football player would just give up his life and dreams of scholarships and college to stay with me and raise a baby. Heck, maybe I just wished a little too hard he might just be like Nathan Scott on One Tree Hill. Nope. Sucks right? I still like him, I think I love him, and I want this to work, I want my baby to have a dad, unlike me. I want them to have everything; a mom and dad who love each other, a home, everything else they should have.

I’m beginning to feel lost without him. I try and tell myself that I don’t need him. He’s a waste of space, but he genuinely isn’t. I think he’s just confused or whatever. I hope he comes around. He didn’t say ‘get an abortion’ or ‘It’s not mine’; he just said ‘I can’t deal with this now ‘ and walked away from me.

I hope he turns around and walks back.