It’s been a while since I have had access to my laptop… alone.
It’s been a difficult few days here in… I won’t get into the messy details because nobody likes those. Well… I will share a few otherwise, what’s the point of writing right? Well, my daughter, my beautiful beautiful, beautiful (I could go on) daughter picked up a bug from school and ended up in the hospital, which was beyond terrifying. Then my mother, who I worship, well she too found her way in the hospital the very next day. My father, the stable rock he’s been my whole life… Well, he LOST IT. The time I needed him the most, he lost it. Anyway, long story short, I felt as though my world was falling down around me and there was no one. I read something a while ago, we come into life alone and we leave life alone. That is why we cling onto those we have around us so tightly.
Both mom and daughter are still in hospital but are doing well.
Well today, I hope is a better day.
So far I have been down and not myself and well with load’s on my mind. A lot of things have just been bugging me about a lot of my so-called friends. You would think they would be on my side, but well some aren’t and well I know I shouldn’t care, but I do…….
Till next time.
Ya, I thought having sex with him was worth it.
Like, I thought we felt the same way about each other. But, I guess not. The few seconds of pleasure are not worth the forever pain, depression, feeling of loss, embarrassment, guilt, shame, and regret that it brings. Not to mention the anxiety of “WHAT IF I’M PREGNANT? OR WHAT IF I HAVE A STD?” Well, it’s been a month exactly since that night.
And I am so upset, but I know I’m not pregnant.
Oh my. I’m 7 days delayed.
I was supposed to have my period last Oct. 15, but it didn’t come. Last two weeks. I’ve been really stressed out because of school. But now I’m freaking out because of this delayed menstruation. I don’t want my parents to be hurt. They’re expecting a lot from me. I don’t know what to do. I want to have my menstruation. And there’s a white discharge in my undies. I’m really confused.
I’m still not sure that I’m pregnant. I’m wishing that I’m not. I’m not yet ready with this huge responsibility. I’m just 2nd college student. 🙁
I’m 16 years old and 5 months old with a baby boy pregnant.
I’m all alone and I really need someone to talk to. Is there anyone out there who can relate to me? I’m not with the baby’s father.
I need someone to talk to.
Trust is something people abuse and take for granted every single day.
I, like everyone else, thought that you could trust practically anybody as long as you’ve known them for a while. That’s all it takes, right? Give them a year or two, a few months, a few weeks maybe? It doesn’t really matter cause that’s enough to trust them. You think you’ve known someone for so long only to find out that you were off this whole time. I found out the hard way that you can’t really trust anybody. I trusted someone I knew for ten years. We’ve known each other since we were 4 years old. He was shy, sweet, kind, everything that would describe a nice, trustworthy guy, but I was wrong. I let my guard down because I thought I knew him after all those years in grade school, but I didn’t. I found out his true nature that terrible afternoon when I was 14, an afternoon I would like to erase from my mind forever, an afternoon I am forced to live with for the rest of my life.
Trusting him was the biggest mistake of my life and I am still paying for it today. I tried to forget my past, I tried to bury it in the deepest, darkest part of my mind, but it came back and now it’s plaguing my every footstep. The boy who ruined my life, who made me hate myself, who made me have nightmares for years is now dating one of my closest friends and I have to pretend like everything’s OK, like nothing’s wrong. It’s the punishment I get for trying to run away from my mistakes. If I could go back in time, I would go back and I would tell myself not to trust him, to stay away, but I can’t. I can’t change the past, it’s a part of who I am now. I’m getting better every day, learning to trust people again. There’s even a guy in the picture now. Well, I’m hoping he’s going to be an official part of the picture and I feel great about it. The memories still come back to haunt me when I see or hear something that reminds me of that terrible day, but it’s not as bad as before. I succeeded in confiding to my mother and, later, to one of my best friends. I know that there’s worse out there, but that doesn’t stop the pain. All I can do now is hope and try to look at the rest of my life in a positive way.
Trust is something very important, very delicate, I just hope you don’t take it for granted like I do. Don’t give it to just anyone, give it only to those who really deserve it. I would like to have a chance like you do, but I’m afraid that chance is long gone. So don’t waste it ok? For me?
