I’m 17 years old.
About a month ago, I found out that I am pregnant. 9 weeks this week. (19 May). My boyfriend is 20 years old & we’ve been together for nearly a year. As soon as I thought I was pregnant, I went straight to my mom & told her. We have a very close relationship & thank God that we do. Otherwise, I’d have no idea how I would tell her. I also told my boyfriend. We bought a home pregnancy test & did it together. It came out negative. I was very confused because my period was 2 weeks late by then. A week later, my mom bought me another test, supposed to be the best home pregnancy test out there & my mom, my boyfriend & I did the test & it again. Came out negative. Still, we were all very confused with no period. My mom & I went to the clinic a few days later & they did a test & straight away it said positive. The three of us sat down & spoke about what was going to happen. Our first agreement was to have an abortion. It all happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to think about what i was really about to do. We went to the clinic the next day & they said that I’m too early to have an abortion, I have to be at least 9 weeks. Of course now having this time to actually let it set n has started to change my mind.
This decision is eating me away. My family have said that they are behind me all the way no matter what my decision is, but my boyfriend doesn’t want to keep this baby. He says he doesn’t want his child to grow up the same way he did. He lived with his uncle & then grandparents until he matriculated. He’s just concerned that we are not financially stable to have this baby, which is understandable. Neither is my mom. She’s a single mom even though my sister & I are grown up. My sister’s 21. I just cant imagine doing this to my baby & to myself. I do not go to school, due to personal reasons to do with step father not paying school fees so i do not have my matric certificate. Which we have made a plan to work around. I was working, but at the moment I’m jobless, besides working for my mom. My plan is to go & do my hair care & cosmetology course next year.
I’m in such a difficult position & just wish this could get easier.
I’d really appreciate any advise. Or help.
(:
It was November 24th. I was 16, and I was out at my friends after exams party,
I was talking to my ex-boyfriend and he said to me, “I have never stopped liking you and I will always love you, you mean the world to me.” At this point, I had a few drinks, so of course, I believed him. I hugged him and told him that I still loved him.
My friends saw me hugging him and pulled me aside and made me remember why we broke up in the first place. (He cheated on me for the whole 10 months we were going out). I remember I wanted to hit him. I walked up to him. He could tell I was angry and I was determined to do it, but he gave me the same look as he used to. It made me melt and remember how happy I was with him. Instead of hitting him, I kissed him and told him I missed him.
After that, I spent the whole night with him. I wouldn’t leave his side. I looked at the time and saw it was 3:20 am and I told mum i would be home by 4am at the latest. I told him that I had to go. He offered to walk me home because he didn’t want me to walk alone. At this point, I was quite drunk and accepted his offer.
I remember walking and spinning around, then I fell. He came over to me. I thought he was going to help me up, but instead he pined me down and wouldn’t let me go. I knew what he wanted and I said no. He got off me although he was angry. We walked in silence for over an hour. I started to feel bad for him, he looked so upset. I looked at him and he looked back at me. We stopped walking. I asked if he was okay and he said, “No, I can’t even have the girl I love.” I remember seeing tears in his eye and he looked down to the ground. I cried and told him that he could have had me, but he hurt me. Then we fought about it. He pushed me and said that he only did it because I didn’t want to have sex with him so i asked him if that was all he wanted from me then he yelled out “NO” as loud as he could and started crying. He sat down with his hands over his eyes. I sat next to him and hugged him. I thought that it was my fault so I thought it would make it better if I gave him what he wanted…. I told him that I would…
It had been 3 weeks since we had sex. We became closer to each other. It didn’t feel like it had been 3 weeks and I remembered that I was suppose to get my period 2 weeks ago. I got worried and told him about it. We went to buy 2 pregnancy tests that day. I told him I would do them at home once he had gone and when my parents were out. It was 5:30ish when he left. My parents were out doing the shopping so I drank about 2 liters of water and took the test… It came up positive… I drank more water and did the other one to make sure…. it came up positive as well. I started to freak out. I wanted to call him, so I did. He asked what the results were, I got scared and said negative… He sounded so relieved. I thought what I was doing was the right thing…. Then I had to think it through. There were so many questions in my head like “Can I keep it?” “What would I tell?” “Can I afford it?” “What can I do?” What should I do?”
I went to the G.P soon after I decided that getting an abortion would be the best option because I couldn’t afford it. I had to finish my education. I was way too young. The G.P asked if I was sure I wanted to do it. I remember my head shouting “NO!” yet the word yes came out of my mouth. I went though with it.
It took me a month to tell him that it really came up positive, and that I got an abortion. I was surprised he didn’t get angry or upset at me. All he said was “In a way, I wish that you did tell me, but I am happy you didn’t because i wouldn’t of been able to handle it” that made me cry because I thought about how I was handling it and I couldn’t think of how.
Now its May 19th. I am back in school i am still 16. He and I have broken up and I still regret having that abortion. My baby would have been due in August… I don’t know how I am going to get though that month with a smile on my face knowing that I could have had my baby in my arms…
This is my first baby. And I’m a little bit scared because they say delivering a baby is so very painful, I don’t know if I can do it…but I will try my best to do it…All I can do is to pray…
I don’t know. Also, I don’t know my exact due date because my period doesn’t come on exact dates…maybe May 30 or the week of June 1st??…All I wanna do is to be ready always. I already packed my things,
Help me to pray, guys…Hope I can do it!!… Thanks a lot…
I am thirteen weeks and one day pregnant with baby number two! My husband and I call this baby, Baby A. We are hoping for a girl. We find out what we are having in June. I am so excited. Although I realize it is going to be hard since I already have a fourteen-month-old son. This baby is due in November, and by then my son will be twenty months old.
I love my babies and husband! <3
So today I just found out that I’m pregnant.
I have thousands of things running through my head and I’m so confused. My boyfriend said he would only support me if I had an abortion which makes this that much harder. I know that in the end, it is my decision but I don’t know what I should do. But I do know that no matter what decision I make my family and friends are behind me. Only my sister and aunt and two friends know and my boyfriend. It’s heartbreaking to know that this is happening to me. Although I do know there’s a reason. I’m only 18 years old and will be done high school in a month. I have already been accepted to police foundations for September which makes this that much more difficult. My sister and aunt want me to have the baby. But I’m sooooo confused and still in shock. I needed some people’s thoughts on abortion, adoption, and keeping the baby.
Thanks sooo much for everyone’s help.
I think I am going to keep my baby, but I don’t know if I should give it up or raise her myself.
I haven’t told my parents yet and I don’t want to I think that if I told them they would try to make me get an abortion and if I went through that I couldn’t live with myself. We have been discussing telling my parents well when I say discussing I mean him saying he wants to and me crying. I feel so stressed out and so confused I just don’t think I would make a great mum. It is breaking my heart though to think that my parents might not be in my baby’s life. I just feel so sad and alone and I need to talk so this is why I am talking to you guys because you know what I am going through.
Bye
