On the 18th of August I found out that I was 4-5 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby was my best friend and was already in a relationship with another girl, who is also pregnant and due in September. After we found out, I immediately told my parents (which I now feel was a huge mistake). My dad was very accepting and supportive as he always is. My mom reacted in a calm manner but felt that I shouldn’t go through with my pregnancy and my best friend’s mother felt the same.
They pushed me to make a decision very quickly, and I was made to feel that I was incapable of raising a child on my own… As this went on, I grew more and more confused everyday, but I knew that I had to make a decision.
They promised that they would support me if I went through with the abortion and I felt that they would, surely for a week and then everyone would go on with their lives and I would be left to live with the fact that I had, had an abortion.
After a couple of days, I convinced myself that doing what my mum said would be best because she knew what it was to raise children as a single parent. So I decided to have an abortion, despite the fact that I felt that I could be a mother (I sometimes got excited).
On the 26th August, I went in to the clinic with my mum. The wait was long, but I was okay because I had convinced myself that what I was doing was right for me. As the nurse did my ultrasound, I saw this tiny little thing on the monitor and I knew that, that was my little baby. It’s size was 1,73cm and I was 5 weeks and a day…
I went in to have the abortion and when I woke up from the procedure, I had so much pain, and I knew that it wasn’t just physical… It was far more than that, but I didn’t say anything.
When I got home, I just focused on healing and felt absolutely nothing about what I had done. I felt okay for 2 days afterwards. On the 3rd day, I started feeling alone and so empty.
I had promised my mum that whatever I felt, I would tell her. But I somehow feel that I can’t because I don’t think she would understand the pain I feel emotionally.
I’m afraid to look at baby products in stores, on brochures, on the television… I would quickly turn and hide from the way I feel.
I now know that I should have listened to the inner me and kept my baby. But I realise that it’s too late and I don’t know how to live with that. As I bleed everyday since then, I feel more and more hurt, and angry with myself, my family, my best friend, and my dad. I just wish my dad had done more to convince me… I got this email too late. Had I gotten it before my procedure, I don’t think I would have gone through with my abortion…
It’s so hard to live, knowing that I was too selfish to give my child life…
Yours Sincerely
Lyndall (South Africa)
Dear Lyndall,
I’m Julie from standupgirl.com. I’m so sorry to hear the pain in your heart! I know you are angry with yourself, and feel despair. Did you know that many women who have had abortions feel the same way? It is called post-abortion syndrome, and is pretty common. I don’t say that to make you feel it is no big deal – it is. I just want you know you aren’t alone in this experience.
I haven’t had an abortion, but friends have. And they tell me that a support group was a big part of their healing process. I don’t know if there are groups in South Africa, but I assume there are. You can get more information about post-abortion syndrome and recovery from http://www.abortionrecoverydirectory.org and http://www.ramahinternational.org.
I was a freshman in high school when I dated a guy who graduated 2 years ago. I Was Only 16 and he was 19. Before we started dating, he would talk to me nice and treat me like a princess. Months passed and I started liking him more then a friend.
One time, when we were talking on the phone, I told him that I liked him more then a friend. He said he also liked me too. After that phone call, he texted me and he told me that if I wanted something with him we had to chill first. So, I agreed and we chilled at the mall.
That day in the mall when I met him, it was really cool to chill with him and also I felt like I was going to get raped. I went with a group of friends. They let me go with the guy and they went to the other side of the mall. Every store we went to, he would always tell me to try on sweatpants or a dress. I’m a shy type of person so I didn’t agree with him. He would beg me to do it and I knew how much I liked him so I did it.
We went to Macy’s and he told me to try this dress on. Once I got in, I locked the door. When I turned around, I saw him sitting down in the fitting room I was in. He really scared me. He got close to me, he hugged me, held me from my waist, and then kissed me. I felt weird and good at the same time because I got to be close to the guy I liked. Then we went to another store once I got to the fitting room, he did it again. Now I felt kinda weird. I told him not to do that again and he apologized but he held me from my waist and kissed me.
That same night, he texted me and told me he wished we could have spent more time together. Weeks and month passed, and we would chill all the time. A year passed and we were together at a party. Everything in the party was nice, spent time with friends. Throughout the party, I would always see him staring at me. So then I stood up and went to the bathroom. When I got out, I saw him standing right in front of the door and he got my hand and took me upstairs. We went inside his friend’s room and he sat me down in his friend’s bed and he sat right next to me. He told me how much he loved me and that he would never leave me. Also, we were dating for 1 year. So he kissed me and laid me down. We Had Sex.
A week later, I felt strange. I would throw up every morning feel dizzy and etc. So I planned on doing a pregnancy test. I called my best friend to come over. I waited to get the results of the pregnancy test and it came out positive. I was shocked and stood paralyzed. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to tell my best friend because I didn’t know if the test was wrong or not. I went to an ob/gyn doctor and asked if I could do a pregnancy test. The doctor called me in and told me that the results came out positive.
I was crying because I didn’t know what to do or say. Once I got out, I called my boyfriend. I told him that I was pregnant. He was so mad that he was screaming through the phone. Days passed and he wouldn’t reply to any of my messages. A week later, he called me and he told me that if I wanted to be with him for the longest, I would have to abort the baby. Hearing that made me cry. I told him that i would never kill a baby’s life and asked him why doesn’t he want a baby with me. He hanged up.
3 Months passed and I tried hiding my belly. One morning, I wore a loose shirt so nobody would see my belly. As I walk to the kitchen, I see my mom making breakfast. She told me, “I got you new clothes. Go measure them and show me. “I felt nervous because I didn’t want nobody to see my belly. I got the bag and went to my room. All the shirts were Bodycon. I wanted to cry but I held the tears.
I went downstairs and i told my mom that they didn’t fit. She look surprised and said that’s weird, but that’s your size. Out of nowhere, she pulls up my loose shirt and sees my belly and she asked me are you pregnant. I started to cry and said yes mom, I am. She got so mad and kicked me out of her house. I had nowhere to go. I called my best friend and explained the situation to her and she let me stay at her house.
That same night, I called my supposedly boyfriend and explained the situation to him and he told me that if I wanted to live with him, I will have to abort the baby and hanged up on me again.
8 Months passed and I didn’t receive any call or text from him. So my friend and I went to the mall. I only had one month left before my baby was born. Btw, they’re going to be girl twins.
Throughout those 4 months that passed, I have worked in a restaurant as a host. I haven’t been to school. Every time a student saw me they would judge or make fun of me.
I went to the Macy’s store and when I turn around, I saw my supposedly boyfriend. He stared at me with a surprised face. He came close to me and said Wow, look at you, haven’t seen you in the longest. I said haven’t seen me in the longest, you say. You never called me or texted me these past 8 months and you have the guts to tell me this. While we were talking, this girl of my age comes up and says baby, let’s go to Hollister. I stood surprised and sad hearing that. She asked him who are you talking to. He said oh, this is my friend. I almost burst out crying. I got mad and I told the girl that I’m his supposedly girlfriend and he got me pregnant and he told me that if I want to still be with him, I will have to abort them. She looked at him with a mad face and said is this true and he said yes. The girl cursed him out and left. He Was Mad.
I was on my way to the elevator and he went in it with me. He started arguing with me. I ignored him throughout the whole elevator ride. He told me that he will never talk to me and doesn’t want to see me never in his life again. Once I got to the baby aisle, I started to cry and I told my friend what happened. She calmed me down and took me to every store. I really wanted to forget all about him.
A month later, it was 4 am, and I started getting contractions. I woke my friend up and her mom took me to the hospital. At 7 am, the twin girls were born. I was resting when my ex-boyfriend came in. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at the two girls and he came up to me and gave me a hug. I asked him what is he doing here. He answered and said I wanted to see the girls. This is going to be the first and last time I’ll see them. I asked why, and he said he was going to move to California.
A year later, my daughters were about to turn one. The only people I had were my friend and her mom. We went out to eat for my daughters’ birthday. I received a text message from my ex saying tell the little ones happy birthday. I replied back and said thank you.
16 years passed and I raised my daughters on my own. Had only 2 people that supported me. I don’t have a high school diploma. I work as a host. My ex hasn’t contacted me. I will continue supporting my girls in the good and bad moments. Sometimes believing in a person can end up having bad obstacles in life.
January 15, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) – World-famous Canadian singer Celine Dion is undergoing another chapter in her life as she grieves the death of her beloved husband and former manager Rene Angelil. Dion’s fairytale life and the fame she brought to her native Canada would never have been if a Catholic priest had not convinced her mother not to abort Celine in 1967. And it’s likely that her fierce devotion to her husband and family was learned from her mother who gave her life and the example of loving sacrifice.
Even though he was 26 years older, Celine’s devotion to her husband touched the world as she cancelled a major tour to tend to him in his bout with cancer in 2014.
Dion, the bestselling Canadian recording artist of all time, is the 14th child of Adhémar-Charles and Thérèse Tanguay Dion. The singer revealed in 2001 as she was to give birth to her first child that she herself was almost aborted. When her mother Thérèse was distressed at learning of her pregnancy, she went to a priest. Celine recounts: “He told her that she had no right to go against nature. So I have to admit that in a way, I owe my life to that priest.”
Dion said that she adores her mother, that Thérèse was “the star” of her family. “I’ll never forget that she was the one who went knocking on René Angélil’s door in the first place. I was just a kid. She was the one who wrote my first song. I owe her everything.”
In the January 16, 2001 issue of London celebrity magazine Hello!, with a preview in the January 11 National Post, Dion said: “My mother had already brought up 13 children. For more than 20 years, she’d been locked into a hellish cycle of washing, ironing and housework, 365 days a year. She thought, rightly, that she’d done her duty. The two little ones, twins Paul and Pauline, were about to go to school and at last she’d have some time to herself. At last she’d be able to go out, perhaps go traveling with my father and revisit the area where they were both brought up. Then suddenly she was pregnant again. She was so shattered she went to see the parish priest to see if she could do something about it.”
“Once she got over her disappointment that an abortion was out of the question,” added Dion, “she loved me as passionately as she’d loved the last little ones.”
That love for children and family was passed on to Celine as can be seen in her care and concern for her children. “My success is my family,” she told People magazine in 2012. “My life is to be a mom. It is what I enjoy the most. It is my most amazing reward. I will take a chance with my music. I don’t take risks with my family.”
Posted to my Facebook page on November 21st… November is National Adoption Month and today is National Adoption Day. In 1976, Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis announced an Adoption Week in his state to promote awareness of the need for adoptive families for children in foster care. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan procla…
November is National Adoption Month and today is National Adoption Day.
In 1976, Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis announced an Adoption Week in his state to promote awareness of the need for adoptive families for children in foster care. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week and in 1995, President Bill Clinton expanded Adoption Week to the entire month of November. Thank you, gentlemen. And thank you to childwelfare.com for the information.
Adoption stories are many and varied, spanning time from the day Moses’ anguished (albeit prophetically wise) mom placed him in a basket among the reeds on the banks of the Nile (in order that she might spare the tiny future leader of Israel from the Egyptian king’s decree of death) to today’s stories of open and international adoptions, foster care adoptions, step-parent and grandparent adoptions, and the adoption of adults.
Common threads are elaborately woven into these stories as innumerable lives are blessed with love and hope and indescribable joy at the arrival of an adopted child. For many, it’s as miraculous as a birth. The gift of life cannot be measured by the means with which it is delivered.
Adoption often comes with the subtle realization that adequately and suitably giving thanks to God and everyone involved in the process is seemingly impossible.
And if the adoption process is initiated by a fragile birth mom courageously making the most wrenching decision of her life, it truly IS impossible to give her thanks enough. Assuredly impossible. We can give these mothers peace in their minds, but I doubt we can ease the pain in their hearts. I believe that takes an act of God.
In gratitude and honor of the birth parents and adoptive families, the care workers, the agencies, the attorneys, the volunteers and the friends of those enriching our world through means of adoption, I share my family’s story in hopes of bringing more love and joy and inspiration and encouragement to their stories as well.
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I dedicate this journey to my precious lamb Karla. My first and only birth child and my only daughter. By the ripe old age of two, she had the forceful resolve of Yoda and in turn gave me the resolve to find the sibling she begged us to provide. Upon arrival of her babies, Karla insisted on collaborative roles in bottle feeding, diaper changing and binky search-n-rescue missions. Her most famous performance lines are: “I do it!! I ho’d it!!”…”Honey take a bottle!”…and my favorite, “Mmm, smell the caffeine, Mommy!” from the coffee aisle at Hughes Market.
Karla now resides in a remote area of scenic Arizona and is occasionally sighted at an airport or on a golf course.
You go, baby girl. Love, Mom
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In the spring of 1977, nearly two years after the miraculous birth of our beautiful daughter Karla (a challenging pregnancy due to my ID diabetes), my husband and I decided to get pregnant again. Oh baby.
I greatly desired for the newbie to be born in May. It is such a glorious month and, being a May baby myself, it’s my favorite. Unfortunately, many months passed with no pregnancy. The wait was painful, both emotionally and physically, and infertility due to endometriosis was the final diagnosis. Fertility pills and earnest prayers for twins became a daily routine for me. I discovered how blessed I had been to get pregnant the first time. It was a miracle.
Failing to fertilize, we turned our focus to adoption. I first contacted overseas agencies but international adoption was beyond our reach. Attempts with American agencies were futile. We enlisted the support of friends who had adopted several children of American Indian descent. But calls to tribal agencies and eventually the Bureau of Indian Affairs repeatedly told me that new laws were passed to prohibit the adoption of American Indian children outside of their tribes without the birth father’s consent in court. I gave up on adoption.
In the depths of despair, I decided to find distraction through buying our family a new house. I found a fixer-upper in probate and dove into the challenging process, leaving behind the newer comforts of a three-year-old four-bedroom home for a three-bedroom older home demanding full-scale renovation.
We were in escrow and a month away from our May move-in date when suddenly my period was late. What incredible timing this is, I thought…we’re moving AND pregnant…am I dreaming?
The wake-up call came quickly. On Good Friday of April 1979. Negative test results. Not pregnant. Again.
Never mind more children. I was done. My devastation was complete. I skipped Easter Sunday services and in my lonely grief I self-destructively feasted on chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs. (The ones in the scary yellow styrofoam egg carton.) Not a great idea for a diabetic, but understandable.
The following Monday around noon the phone rang. It was our pastor. Our church family was very aware of our attempts to grow our family of three; my pastor shared words of comfort to soothe my sorrow.
Much to my surprise, he and his wife had been on the way to see their attorney regarding an adoption opportunity (they, too, had been trying unsuccessfully to have another child) but they first stopped by their doctor’s office for a pregnancy test…just in case. Sure enough, they were very pregnant (their 5th time). At that point they realized the Lord had a different plan all along. Babies babies everywhere.
I clearly remember hearing “so, how would you like to adopt a set of twins?” Anything immediately following those words is hard to recall.
After some pretty crazy moments of joy and praise and wonder, my pastor gave me the attorney’s phone number with instructions to call immediately and begin private adoption procedures.
The attorney told me the story of a young girl who could not afford to keep her babies and that the birth father would not marry her if she did, so she wanted them adopted at birth. And there was an issue that could be of legal concern to us, something we would need to pray about.
“The father of the twins is of American Indian descent,” he said. “He is one-half Apache. There are new laws about American Indian adoptions that could at the very least be problematic, if not insurmountable. I don’t know if this might be too challenging for you, but it is definitely something you need to think about.”
There was nothing to think about. I had total peace. I knew God’s guiding hand was upon these children. They were going to be mine.
And when the attorney said, “They are due the first week of May,” I thought, May? Seriously? Another miracle! What an amazing God we have.
In the midst of the ensuing chaos, it occurred to us that our family was growing in size but our living quarters were shrinking. We were gaining two children and losing a bedroom.
Hoping to have a son and knowing the babies would need to share the third bedroom, prayers began for twin boys…the least likely option in a twin birth. Of course. We needed yet another miracle in order for that to happen and I hoped it wasn’t too much to ask.
The first week of May, we came home one evening from a family barbecue to an answering machine message from our frantically happy attorney.
The babies had arrived! Identical twin boys!! Huge and healthy, full term, one minute apart. The answer to five prayers repeated over two years for a May baby, twins, an adoption, an American Indian child, and two boys PLEASE.
The miracle of five prayers and two brothers. Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine all five prayers working together for good in just one miraculous minute on a beautiful spring day in May.
Thanks be to God and to God be the glory for the things He has done…”He maketh the barren woman to keep house and be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” Psalm 113:9
Thank you for reading. Please share if you think this might help someone.
I was 13 years old and in seventh grade when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified and asking myself, “How could this happen?” Certainly, I knew what I was doing, but I never expected to get pregnant – after all, I was still a baby myself.
My son, Naythan, is 4 years old, and in some ways we have grown up together. It’s no secret that being a mother at a young age is hard. I have learned many lessons on life, parenting and self-worth, and I hope that by sharing my experience, another young mom out there will read this and realize that they can get through it too.
Get Your Education
Finding out I was pregnant came at a very difficult time in my life. There was some trouble at home and my sister and I were under the custody of child protective services. Unable to return to my home, I leaned on my son’s father, but by the time I was about five months pregnant, he started hitting me and I had to move into a group home.
These experiences were awful, I felt homesick and scared; but, these experiences are what motivated me to want to finish school. I knew that if I was going to be able to provide a safe home for my child, I would need my education.
Like many of the young moms I know, I was out of school for a long time and I was far behind on my credits. I started coming to school at Ombudsman Charter, and with a lot of hard work, I have been able to get back up-to-speed. At Ombudsman they have a flexible schedule and a shorter school day, which really helps me to balance being a mom and a student. I know that it might seem impossible at times, but getting an education is non-negotiable.
Find the Support You Need
The news that I was pregnant came as a big shock to my family, but they were in for an even bigger surprise when my older sister shared the same news, only days later. My son and my nephew are only 10 days apart, and going through this experience with my sister made things a little bit easier because I knew we would get through it together.
I encourage every mom to find the support they need. Emotional support can come from a lot of different places and there are resources available that can also give you parenting classes, financial support and access to some of the things you are going to need for the baby, like free diapers. It can be hard to ask for help, but realize that it is out there.
Understand that Change is Inevitable
Your social life is going to change, and when you have a child at a young age you have to think about being there for them. If you try to live your life the way you did before you had the baby, you are losing precious time with them. Going out once in a while is ok, but being there for your child is far more important. It is possible that the relationship you had with your child’s father might change too, and if they are not a part of your child’s life, you are going to have to play both roles. I have seen some friends who have taken a lot of time away from their children to try to find them a new father. Someday the right man might come into your life as a father figure for your child, but right now, your child needs you.
Stay Positive
Always believe that you can make it, even when the odds seem stacked against you. It is going to be hard and there are going to be times where you feel stressed out and overwhelmed – know that it will get easier. With all that I have been through, I have found that keeping a positive attitude has been the most helpful thing that I could do in difficult situations. Find positive ways to distract yourself from your worries and also make sure that you are taking care of your body by eating healthy foods, getting the sleep you need and staying active while you are pregnant.
Growing up I saw abuse, and it took me a while to realize that I did not deserve that and that nobody deserves that. This realization made me take a closer look at myself and appreciate who I am and what I have accomplished. I know that I want more in life and I believe that I will achieve it. I have 10 credits left to finish high school and after that I want to go to college. I want my children to understand that education is important, and I will show them by my example. It is going to be hard, but I am worth it.
Kimberly is an 18 year old high school senior at Ombudsman Arizona Charter Metro
Actress Kristin Chenoweth, known for her roles on stage and screen, is speaking out in honor of National Adoption Day. Chenoweth, who was adopted as a newborn, says that while she is not overly curious about her birth parents, she is grateful to her birth mother for giving her a chance at life and grateful to her adoptive parents, who told her very early on, “We chose you.”
People.com shares the text of Chenoweth’s writings in honor of the day: “I’ve always known that I was adopted. It was never a secret or held from me. I knew that my birth mother loved me so much that she wanted to give me a better life. And my parents, Jerry and Junie Chenoweth, were looking to adopt a baby and found me – literally less than one week after I was born.
Growing up, my parents explained my adoption by telling me, “We chose you.” It was a wonderful way to put it to an adopted child. And I think it’s true. An adoption is a full-circle blessing.”
Chenoweth explains how she views the birth mother’s choice to place her child for adoption as a “sacrifice,” a “blessing,” and a “gift”: “First of all, it’s a blessing (and a huge sacrifice) for a birth parent to make the decision to give his/her baby a better life. Sometimes people can’t take care of that baby just yet. (And their circumstances might change in 15 years.) But what a gift they are giving to both that child and the family who wants to adopt.”
Chenoweth says,” Adopted children should never feel that they were abandoned, but chosen, even stating, “we were given a chance”: And then, lastly as an adopted child I encourage other adoptees to remember what blessed lives we have. We weren’t abandoned; we were chosen. We were given a chance. I’m not saying it’s not hard or that it’s easy for people to understand. But it really isn’t for the world to understand; it’s for the people who are involved.
Regarding her birth mother, whom she has not met, Chenoweth says: If anything, I would thank my birth mother for loving me enough to make such a huge sacrifice. It’s a great gift for me to be able to say: “I know that I came from love, and I know that I have love.”
Chenoweth, who does not have any children of her own, stated that if she were to have children, she would likely adopt.
Other celebrities have spoken positively about adoption. Among them:
Hugh Jackman (an adoptive father) –
“From the moment we started the adoption process, all the anxiety went away. I don’t think of them [son Oscar, 11, and daughter Ava, 6] as adopted – they’re our children. Deb and I are believers in … I suppose you could call it destiny. We feel things happened the way they are meant to. Obviously, biologically wasn’t the way we were meant to have children. Now, as we go through life together, sure there are challenges, but everyone’s in the right place with the right people. It sounds airy-fairy, but it’s something we feel very deeply.”
Sandra Bullock (an adoptive mother) –
“The first time I met Louis, it was like the whole outside world got quiet. It was like he had always been a part of our lives.”
The late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple (an adoptee) –
“I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was okay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was 23 and went through a lot to have me.”
