I am pretty sure I am a few weeks into pregnancy. I am nineteen years old. My fiancé is in the United States Marine Corps. We recently solved a lot of problems in our relationship and spent a few weeks together while we were fixing our relationship. During that time, I had unprotected sex. I cannot use birth control because I get blood clots and most other methods are not safe because I have a blood disorder. I am also highly allergic to spermicide and latex and even the non-latex or spermicidal condoms irritate me. I have been suffering from nausea, frequent urination, breast pain, and headaches for about a week. I am really nervous because we are still at a point where we aren’t ready to settle down with a family. His career in the Marines has only just begun and I am not ready to get married. We didn’t want to be like the other military couples and get married and have kids at a young age. This is throwing a major dent in my plan. I don’t want to get an abortion despite the risks of my pregnancy because of my medical condition. I would look into adoption though. I told my mom and my step mom but telling anyone else would be difficult. My fiancé is absolutely a basket case about everything, but he is trying to stay calm and be my anchor on rough seas.
I am taking my test in the morning. I’m so scared.
Any advice? Anything?
Hi everyone. My name is Brittany. I’m 22 with three kids and the fourth on the way. I wanted to share my story with you all. I hope it can help some.
I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 16. Yes, I was scared and had a lot of emotions running through my head. Not only were my own thoughts getting in the way, but that of some of my family and friends. I told my boyfriend at the time and he was scared but excited at the same time. Not long after I found out he left and went to Mexico. My mother and friends were all telling me that he wasn’t going to come back and to abort the baby because it was mixed race and I was too young. After a week of him being gone, I started to believe everyone and was thinking about giving her up for adoption. I’m pro-life so that was my way out. Three weeks had passed and he came back and picked me straight up from my mom’s house. We are now married and have been for 5 years.
The point of me telling you all this is because people will say things and talk, but in the end, it is your choice and not theirs. Stay strong and do what you think is best for you. You are your own person and no one can take your free will away from you. Stay strong and keep your heads up. Things will seem bad at that point, but with every rainfall there will be a rainbow 🙂
I got there and sat in the waiting room with the millions of other girls sitting there alone and by themselves. But I wasn’t alone I had my boyfriend there, and I still felt as alone as ever. I felt like cattle or something. I went into the room by myself and got my ultra sound the lady handed me the picture and I started to cry and cry. I saw that little baby and it didn’t matter if we were ready or not. It’s not that little baby’s fault. I felt like I could not breathe and …
Dear Becky — It was a month after my eighteenth birthday I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend suggested that we go to the abortion clinic. That it was something that we needed to do because we were not ready to have a baby. I agreed and at around 2 months we went.
I got there and sat in the waiting room with the millions of other girls sitting there alone and by themselves. But I wasn’t alone I had my boyfriend there, and I still felt as alone as ever. I felt like cattle or something. I went into the room by myself and got my ultra sound the lady handed me the picture and I started to cry and cry. I saw that little baby and it didn’t matter if we were ready or not. It’s not that little baby’s fault. I felt like I could not breathe and I wanted more then anything to just get out of there. I went out to the waiting room where my boyfriend was waiting and ran to him crying. I showed him the picture and said “look, parents are supposed to protect their babies, not kill them”. He agreed and said that whatever I wanted he would be okay with. We left and went home and showed our parents. They were mad, my mom wanted me to go to college and thought my life would be over. I had her last January- her first birthday and first Christmas is coming soon. She is my little angel and she has brought more Joy to my life then I could ever imagine. I can’t image my life without her and I feel horrible that her life was almost ended and she wouldn’t be here with us. We are a family and I’m going to college. Things work out for the best. It makes me cry to just think about it. I am her mommy and I have protected her from the moment I walked out of that place and will protect her for the rest of her life, exactly what a mommy is supposed to do.
Joy
Dearest Joy — I type this letter to you with tears in my eyes and I am so very touched by your story! Your story so touched my heart and I was overjoyed at the turn of events that took place. The choice for life that you made.
I truly believe that many girls will be able to identify with your story – before they even decide to go to the clinic.
I bet your mom is a proud grandma now. Joy – thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful story with me. It really made my day!
Luv Lisa
Hey Lisa. I am 16 years old and I need some answers. I am thinking more and more every day I am pregnant. Can you help?
Dearest Emily – I would love to help you. Really the only way I can truly help you is to maybe refer you to a center where you can have a free and confidential pregnancy test taken.
Would you like that information?
I will give you a link to a site where you can find one near you. Just to let you know also that I’m not a doctor, so I can’t really give you any medical advice, and truly the only way that you will know for sure if you are or are not pregnant is to get a test taken.
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
Or you can call (800) 395-HELP (4357)
Let me know what you find. OK?
Thank you for your e-mail
Luv Lisa
Hey Lisa, I took a test and it was negative but I really was looking forward to having a baby. Do you think I should still consider getting pregnant?
Brittany – Hello. I’m so glad you asked me. You know what I really think is the best idea? Enjoy being 16 and then enjoy being 17 and do the
things that you can do to prepare to be a mommy after becoming a wife.
You know why? Because a baby truly is not only a big responsibility and takes every minute of your time, but a baby is an expensive undertaking.
Let’s do this … Go to the supermarket … or to a Babys ‘R’ Us store and pretend like you are shopping. Grab a large package of diapers because you will be changing a diaper probably about 4 times a day.
So… 4 diapers a day (roughly), 7 days a week. That is 28 diapers.
So, put enough in your basket to last you 2 weeks. Then you need baby formula. That goes really fast. Then bottles, baby clothing (which doesn’t last long because babies grow fast!), bottle nipples, all the items for diaper changing .. powder, baby wipes and so forth.
Really – the reason why I suggest this? It is because we all want a little baby so badly. A baby to love, a baby will be so adorable and I would love to hold my very own baby and care for him/her. Brittany, in due time you will, but you really want to have a husband that supports you. A husband that says when you are so tired one night when the baby is crying “Honey, I’ll get up and feed or change the baby, you sleep.”
Another reason is … if you want to share and show love for a baby, you should have a mommy and a daddy there and ready to love and to care for him/her. You would want to experience pregnancy WITH the man that loves you and is truly excited to have the baby with you.
If you have a baby now, you will have to bypass all the wonderful things of 16, 17 and 18 year old stuff. Prom night, graduation and hangin’ out with your friends, a wedding day as you look forward to starting a family with your husband rather than you have a ready-made family.
Brittany – I would say wait to have a baby. Babies are adorable, but it truly is best when you have a husband standing by your side.
Something I might suggest … get a tiny puppy and begin with caring for a puppy, give the puppy your time and you can pay for all the puppies food and feed it and care for it. That’s still a big responsibility – don’t you think?
Let me know what you think Brittany. Thank you so much for your e-mail.
Luv Lisa
Hey, thank you for helping me. I think I will wait. You are right. I don’t think I’m ready for all the responsibility, but one day, I will be ready so once again thank you so much for your help!!
your friend, Brittany
PS. Write me back some time..:)
Brittany – I am so very proud of you! Maybe choosing purity to marriage might be your next step? That’s what my husband and I did. We loved each other so much too … but we waited until we were married before we had sex. I wasn’t a virgin when I met my husband unfortunately, but I got so tired of dealing with the fears of pregnancy before marriage that I made a vow before God that I would save my body until marriage. I learned, Brittany, that True Love Waits! The man that I married proved to me how much he really loved me and he waited for marriage before we got intimate.
If you’re interested in that too – I’d love to share a really cool site with you. They have this jewelry that says “True Love Waits” and you can wear it … kind of like a confirmation of your vow. Something just kinda different and fun. Maybe your friends will catch on to it too.
I’m proud of you Brittany. Take care of yourself. Let me know if you’re interested in taking that vow and that jewelry!
Luv Lisa
Yes, I would be very interested in taking that vow. That would be awesome..:)
Woo hoo! How cool is that Brittany!
Here’s the link. I love these … let me know if you find something!
http://www.factory79.com/
Luv Lisa
He came to me. The guy who forever changed my life. James! He just happened to be 5 years older. But it didn’t matter, for I was in love. I really fell hard for the guy. For once in my life, I was happy. James was so different. He made me feel loved. Of course, my parents didn’t know about him. They would pretty much kill me if they found out. So every night at midnight, I would sneak out and see him.
Dear Becky — My story is the typical teenage one…Girl falls in love, gets pregnant, guy leaves her. But first, I’m going to start from where it all began.
I’m just a 15-year-old girl, who wanted love. Who wanted to be loved…I was the type who always looked for it. I never could find that “right one”. So I began to just give up on it. They say to not look for love, that it comes to you.
That’s what just happened. He came to me. The guy who forever changed my life. James! He just happened to be 5 years older. But it didn’t matter, for I was in love. I really fell hard for the guy. For once in my life, I was happy. James was so different. He made me feel loved. Of course, my parents didn’t know about him. They would pretty much kill me if they found out. So every night at midnight, I would sneak out and see him. He would always tell me that I was different than the other girls. That he was in love with me. I believed it. Every word he said. I found myself in love with him. It was weird for me because I never let myself go that deep. But I did. Before I even met James, I heard the stories… He’s the type who likes to sleep around. He was what they call a man whore. I didn’t think things would get serious. So I really didn’t care. Then we kept seeing each other. I really didn’t want to get hurt. He told me that he was going to change…He wouldn’t dare to sleep around. I was happy about that. Things were so great. He would call to say good morning….e-mail to just say he was thinking of me. One time, he even stayed up till 6 in the morning watching over me. Because stupid me, had too much to drink…and as I woke up he was all “I was sooo worried about you babe”….that’s when I realized he was different. At that point, we were “seeing each other” for two weeks… This is where it all began… The symptoms!!!! I remember the first time I told him that I might be pregnant… He would want to talk about it. But I was really scared. I would ask him to shut up. But he would remain to talk about it. He said that we had to be prepared in case the test came out positive. James then told me that he was really happy, that he was going to help me. That I had his support. I remember he said that it was a way for us to be together… So I was glad to hear that.
The next day, I planned to take the test. James said to me to not freak out about the results. Wait for him to be there, so he could help me get through. When I finally took the test, It came out negative…what a relief!!! When I told James the news, he said that he was hoping that it came out positive. He was hoping for me to be pregnant!! Another week went by, and I still felt symptoms, so I retook the test…this time. It changed my life forever…. Yes, it turned out I was pregnant. What was I going to do? But then I thought wait, I have James… So I stopped the worry, I called him up and told him the news, he was happy! I really didn’t think I had any worries. Except I still didn’t understand how he could be happy about this.
I told him that he was going to wake up in the morning and realize what I said. Come to find out, that’s exactly what happened…A few days past, no call….a week…two weeks… He became distant! I knew what this meant, that he didn’t want to help out anymore. It crushed me. I thought that maybe he was scared…. so I gave him time….time…time…and more time… I was hoping for him to have a change of heart. For him to want me back. But, it turns out all I did was keep dreaming…Nothing ever did happen. I didn’t understand. How he could do that to me…after saying he would help me. I thought he loved me. Love only lasts so long. He had to leave me in a time like this. I needed to move on. Except that I still loved him. To this day, my heart could take him back. I realized that he wasn’t coming back. It hurt! Never in my life have I ever experienced a pain like that. I began to think…and I needed to be strong. Most guys to this to girls. I still have my moments when I break down, but I try my best to keep my head high. I had to for my baby….Everyday James goes through my mind. I wonder what he’s doing. How he is. I know he’s going on with his life. That’s what I have to do. In the end, it’ll all work out!
I’m 15 and pregnant. I look on the bright side of things. Yeah, maybe James did break my heart, but I have something to live for. I struggle all the time to pick up the phone…Still wanting to hear his voice. Its too hard though. About a week ago, I finally did get a hold of him. He was on his way to a chick’s house. We did manage to talk for 10 minutes though…He said he was sorry that we haven’t talked. I was all James, you’ve got your life…and then he’s all I could have called you!!! I thought maybe he really was sorry. Then he said he would call me back…..I waited!! I waited ALL night. He never called. TYPICAL! I’m now 2 months pregnant…. I still keep picking up the phone….because I know that we have to discuss things. I mean he’s having a child. He cant ignore that. I don’t know if I should call him. I keep waiting for his call. But I know he’ll never call. That’s my story. I fell in love with a guy. When he found out I was pregnant, he never spoke to me again. Even after he said he would help me through this. I think that I learned a lot from this. I hope this inspired some girls. That sometimes you just have to let go. Guys will leave. I mean mine even said he would stay. You may be in love, but being pregnant scares the guys.
Thanks for reading this. Girls, you’ve got to stay strong. There’s always going to be struggles. But stay strong. One day, I may work up the strength to call James. One day… I hope you guys have better luck.
Carol
Dear Carol — WOW! Your story had me reading to the very last sentence! You know what, Carol? You are a true Stand Up Girl! I will tell you though, please be prepared Carol. There WILL come a day when he will try to walk back into your life. He knows there is a baby on the way and he is not taking responsibility for his actions. Please try to remember that.
I think your story will encourage many other young women in their pregnancy as they will see that they are not alone. You know?
Keep standing tall Carol. You have a beautiful little life on the way. Take care of yourself and know that if you want to talk, I’m here for you.
Thank you for your e-mail.
Luv Lisa |
We didn’t plan on having sex until we were married. Well, one night things all changed, and we did end up having sex, the first time, and I got pregnant. What a shock huh? Well, it was for me, being only 16 and still in school, and pregnant.
Dear Becky — I am now a 17-year-old mother of a 4 1/2-month-old son. His name is Jasadrian, and he was 7 lbs 10.1 oz 20 ¼ in.
I had my head on straight, had plans for the future, and college all worked out for me. Then I fell in love, and things all changed. My ex-boyfriend/father of our son is now not in my or our son’s life. Here is the story…
We didn’t plan on having sex until we were married. Well, one night things all changed, and we did end up having sex, the first time, and I got pregnant. What a shock huh? Well, it was for me, being only 16 and still in school, and pregnant. The time me and my boyfriend did have sex, like two weeks after that, we were both laying in my bed, just laying in each other’s arms, then I turned to him, and told him I had to tell him something, I turned away from him and I just started crying and he’s like “I know what it is”, and I couldn’t tell him still. I was such a mess. He asked me if I knew for sure and I said NO. A few days after that, and I got an EPT test. I didn’t tell my boyfriend because I wasn’t ready to take it yet, I already knew.
I did end up taking it. Me and my boyfriend were sleeping, and it was somewhere between 2-3 in the morning. I went to the bathroom and took it. It was the longest time ever it seemed like waiting for the results. After I had seen it, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I just kept looking at the little stick in my hand that had two pink lines. Finally, the shock wore off enough for me to move and go back to my room. I woke Alex up, and told him, ” Alex, I just took the test”. And he’s like what did it say, I was like go see for yourself, and he’s said, no tell me…I was like, ” I AM.” He’s like “Okay, things are going to be fine ” he went back to sleep, and I just laid there, and like this isn’t, and can’t be happening!!! The next morning, he woke up and went to the bathroom, and when he did I heard him pick up the test. I had left it out for him to see for himself. When he came out, I asked him if he had seen two pink lines too, and he said yes. He just came and held me and told me everything was going to be okay (at that time I was 16, he was 21). He told me he would always be there for me and his baby, and he made me feel like things were going to be okay! He told me that he was going to Florida for a few weeks, and I said that it was okay! But for him to come back. He told me he would. Well, the night before he left, I told him that I didn’t want him to go, and we got in a big fight. He told me that he was. He left my house and went and stayed at a friend’s.
Well, the next day (Father’s Day), I had to watch my cousin while my aunt and uncle went out. I called him over and over, then he finally talked to me. I told him happy Father’s Day, and he’s like what does that mean, I should go tell my dad happy Fathers Day. I said NO IT’S FOR YOUR KID! We didn’t talk for long because we ended up fighting again (and our first fight ever) then I asked him if he was going to see me before he left, and tell me goodbye, and he said “Maybe!”
Well, he never came and I never got to say goodbye to him. I didn’t have a # or a address of where he was going, so I couldn’t contact him, I had to wait for him to do that. He called me like 2 months or so after he had left. I just cried the whole time, and kept telling him I loved him. He told me he wanted to be there for the baby, and I kept telling him to come home. Finally the time came when he was about to be due, Alex showed up in November.
Well I was suppose to go for a ultrasound the 16th of December. On our way, A drunk driver hit our car. It killed Alex instantly. I was rushed to the hospital. They had to take my son, or I would of lost him too! So that was the saddest and the happiest day of my life. I lost my boyfriend, and gave birth to our son! Everyday I miss him, and keep thinking of him! It has been hard on me, because I am still in HS. Only 3 more weeks left and then I will graduate. I was kicked out of my house when my mom found out I was pregnant, (everyone wanted me to get an abortion). I thought about it for 1/2 a second, and knew that I could never do that and live with myself. And then Alex left me. So I had to get a job to support myself, and still go to school.
Well now, I am a full time mommy, student, and am working. Things are good now, because I have a perfect gift from God, my baby boy that looks just like his daddy! Each and everyday, I am thankful that I have him. He has made me a stronger woman, and made me respect that everyday we live, we should be thankful for. I want you and everyone to know, that I LOVE MY SON, and he is the world to me.
To you girls out there that think abortion is right. It’s not. Once that baby has a heart beat, you do not have the right to take it away EVER! YOU GIVE LIFE, AND GOD TAKES IT AWAY! Not you! But just to kill that living baby is not right, you would regret it, I’m sure, but it might be hard for you to accept and handle it. Trust me, I did it all on my own, (and still am) but I am thankful that God gave me my son. I’m sure if you think about it, you would rather give a life to a child, then to take it away! So if you are considering an abortion, please think about that poor innocent baby that is inside you, who didn’t do A THING! you brought him/her in this world, he/she didn’t ask to be. It was your decision!
Thanks for your time,
Ashley
Dearest Ashley — My name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mail.
Wow! When I read your story, I felt like I was there watching the whole thing happen and my heart so broke for you. I am so sorry you have been through all you have been through, but you have a beautiful baby boy to remember and carry on his fathers memory.
Ashley – you truly are a Stand Up Girl.
I should tell you too, that a baby’s heartbeat can begin within the first week! Did you know that? So … upon conception your baby was alive and a human being, even though he had no form, he was alive. Isn’t that amazing?
Ashley – I am very glad that you have your precious baby boy and I am so proud of you … being a Stand Up Girl. Keep it up my friend.
Luv Lisa
