As you probably gathered from my other (slightly poetic and aloof) blog entry: my cousin aborted the baby. She has said (or so I heard) that it was her decision so what can I say really? I tried. At least it’s not for the sake of some loser idiot boy (at least I hope), but I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed in her. Not that she needs to know that but still…what’s done is done and cannot be reversed. The baby is gone and her problems are ‘solved’. Bah.
On to my life… Me and my fiancé have decided that it’s better for my mental health that we take a break from all the hoping, wishing, praying, and begging for a baby. We still really want to have a baby, but we both realized that it was making me miserable and everything was getting really stressed. It’s funny because the day I decided to mentally and emotionally step back from the intensity of it all, I realised how much my future husband wants this. It’s not that I’ve changed my mind at all. It’s just that with all that’s gone on over the past few months, our life and relationship has been really stressful and draining. We haven’t just had fun and enjoyed each other for so long and I want that back PROPERLY…to just be US without the stress and strain. I love him so much. I can’t wait to have our baby and we haven’t returned to using contraceptives but have really and consciously said to ourselves and each other that God will decide, what will be will be and when it happens we will deal with it then. Plus my body is only just beginning to come back to normality after being on the Pill (well apparently it takes about 5-8 months) so in actual fact, that may not be the case quite yet and that is something I have to accept and allow nature to work on.
But we aren’t going to get stressed about getting pregnant now (Now! NOW!!) but instead take time to love, cherish, enjoy and appreciate each other and get our life straight. God will bless us soon but it’s up to him to decided HOW SOON…
And I say to all the girls out there who are down, depressed, feeling defeated and inadequate or sad because they haven’t conceived yet…Don’t let it take over your life… Love your boyfriend/fiancé/husband right, enjoy him, and don’t miss out on him because you’ve spent so much time aching for a baby that it’s the only thing you think about (believe me, I can relate!) because you have been blessed with someone that loves you and you can never get the time you chose to be sad about not being pregnant instead of just loving your man back…
Good luck, love, and best wishes to everyone (I’m not leaving Stand-up Girl-just wanted to end my blog with luv for everyone!)
Ch3y xXx
PS. I’m here if anyone wants to talk or needs advice or whatever! 🙂
If you look at it in terms of living through it, in terms of living through it on the edge and under pressure, 9 months is a very long time… Just when I thought one of my nearest and dearest had made the conscious decision to be a fantastic Stand-up girl and be the angel of choice of life for the tiny person growing inside of her, she falls, and puts an end to the madness that could well maybe have turned her life into something so beautiful.
I am sad to say that she chose to abort her baby…not as sad as I was before and not as sad as I thought I would be, but sad all the same. It really angers me to think that so many girls have been given the blessing that many crave for only to just throw it away due to perceived bad timing. It’s like spitting in the face of GOD…
They cry and wail, complain ‘why me’ and say ‘but I’m not ready’ or ‘my life will be ruined’ when it is only through their own irresponsibility that brought them thus far. It is of the highest mordacity to then turn around and sacrifice the life of the child God has blessed you with for sake of convenience or ideals. How can you see how much your baby has grown, its little fingers and toes, how your life may be , how your baby may look like , hear it’s heart beat and still say yes to ending it’s life before it has even tasted air? I must ask whether the tiny pounding your mother once heard when she saw you for the first time on that black and white screen has grown to stop and become absent… Did you feel your heartbeat when they tore your baby from inside you?… No?
It is true absence of heart and courage…And I say no more…
I have a little girl who is 2 years old named Jaymie Lee. I became pregnant at the young age of 15 and let me tell you, things did not go to smoothly for the 9 months of pregnancy. When I found out, my mom found this website for me. I wrote an email to Becky and she replied immediately with advice and an understanding of what I was going through. I treasure that email in my heart to this day.
So my family accepted my child, and after I got their acceptance, I began accepting it myself. Little did I know that for 9 months, I would be on the most painful ride of my life. My baby’s dad was a meth addict. He never did drugs before I got pregnant but he needed an escape from me and he found it in meth. I was so naive at the time… I stayed with him. And dealt with the yelling and crying and hitting and the police and the crazy family he was raised in. Finally, after my daughter was born, I came to my senses. The mother instinct, at age 16, kicked in harder than ever. I left him. I went back to school and made new friends and had my daughter in the school daycare. Everything turned out to be awesome. I had a few bumps in the road. My family life wasn’t too great, I had a serious boyfriend for 9 months who left me, and I made friends but they always seemed to slip away. I got fed up and left the drama of high school and got a job.
After working for 6 months, I decided I did not wanna be working a dead-end job my hole life. I met GREAT people, learned from SOO MANY mistakes, so many stupid guys, and dealt with the most ridiculous issues. I went back to school this year and I am now graduating in June. I met the most amazing man I could ever dream of. We moved into a house together with my daughter and he is now her daddy.
Sometimes you have to fight through the pain and walk the long hard road to get to where you want to be in life. I’m not all the way there yet, but I have faith, hope and compassion: the 3 main components in life. Always stay strong.
Lately, I have been worried but pretty much excited that I might be pregnant.
I know how hard it will be and I am not expecting this to be easy either. I’ve talked about it with my boyfriend and he told his father that I might be pregnant. His father demanded to speak to me and so he was telling me how he was ready to support me, my boyfriend, and the baby.
But the problem is that I feel that he is scared up to a certain point and that he feels obligated to do this. I would want him to talk to me about it but he keeps on telling me how he is unsure of what he feels. He tells me that if I want it then he wants it too but I want to know how HE personally feels about it.
What should I do?
Not looking to bore you but to encourage you in your walks, decisions, and thoughts.
I recently found out that my barely 16-year-old daughter is pregnant. She is 29 weeks along, due on Feb. 25th… I won’t lie. I couldn’t say much when she told me 4 weeks ago, but nevertheless, I share with an open heart that I am so THANKFUL that she came forth. We will be delivering a baby boy!!! Never did I think God would have taken me so literally at my word when at 16, I had an abortion ’cause the “boy really loved me and I had to choose between the baby and him”.
I was a runaway at the time and chose him, but I know I have received forgiveness from myself and from God. When I turned 25, I met a young teen who was pregnant and her parents kicked her out. We took her in for a time, she was able to move in with her grandmother. I remember telling God I wanted nothing more than to help young pregnant teens not have to go through my experience and provide a safe haven and environment where they could rest and be loved. Now I face that here within the walls of my family… My daughter is expecting. I Celebrate more than focusing on the error, she has chosen Life…
Yes, it will be a challenge I know, but nothing ever happens without a reason and purpose… I am also very thankful for this site. I hope that many will find support and love through this site…. You are Precious and Special.
At my 30-week scan, the doctor noticed my placenta was disintegrating before its supposed to. Not much to be worried about, but enough to have him induce me in 6 weeks.
Monday morning, I woke up with strong contractions, 10 minutes apart. I was rushed to the doctor’s office by my mom. The doctor told me to go to the hospital. By the time I was admitted into a room and set up to be monitored, I was 3 minutes apart and 1 cm dilated. They gave me a hydrating drip, the contractions stopped completely, and I was only a fingertip dilated. So was fortunate enough to be sent home, and not have to be there till the delivery.
I’m nervous and exited =]
Yay 6 more weeks until Baby Madison will be born
