After months of waiting to find out what was making me so sick, I found out that I had cancer. The seizures, blackouts, memory lapses, and weight loss can finally be explained.
I feel so overwhelmed by everything that’s going to happen and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared because I am. I’ve seen what cancer can do. The cancer made my aunt weaker, but the chemo killed her. I don’t want that to happen to me.
I chose to have to have external radiation therapy instead of chemo, maybe it’ll work. I hope so. I’m tryna stay positive, but it’s so hard. I’ve already told my friend that I don’t want anyone visiting me the 8 weeks I’m gonna be in the hospital. I don’t want them seeing me like that. I don’t care if they call, but I don’t want to see anyone while I’m in treatment. Not even my boyfriend. [Oops. I forgot to mention I have one now. hehe. As far as I can tell, he’s a good guy. I hope he stays that way.] Anyways, my friends wanted to argue with me over whether or not they were gonna come visit me, and in the end, I won.
So wish me luck…and btw, I’m gonna be just fine.
I’m a fighter and this is another battle I’m gonna win.
I’m 14 years old. And me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. He’s my longest relationship and also my first.
I really love him and I know that he loves me too. He’s 17 and even though he’s older, he’s not with me for reasons most people would think that an older guy would be with a younger girl.
Well, we’ve had sex a couple of times and we’ve talked about the possibility of me becoming pregnant. He told me that if I ever were to become pregnant that he would be there for me and the baby, no matter what. And I definitely believe him. But this last time that we had sex, I’m scared that I may be pregnant and I’m not so sure what to do. I’m not scared to tell my boyfriend, but I’m scared to tell my parents. I really want to finish school and go to college. It’s like half of me is scared but the other half is excited.
If there’s anyone who can give me a little bit of advice on what I should do, I would really appreciate it.
So I’ve been with my boyfriend for a lil over 2 years, and lately, I dunno……. I feel like no matter how much I try, he just doesn’t or won’t get me.
We had an abortion 2 years ago and honestly, it’s been downhill since then. He’s tried to make it work but honestly, ever since the abortion, I’ve never felt the same. I asked for a break, but he didn’t want to take a break so we tried to stick it out but… I’ve been forcing my emotions for someone who I can no longer pretend to care for. I mean I love him I truly do but I’m almost 25 and I need someone I can rely on financially, emotionally, mentally, etc. And honestly, he’s none of those. Great guy. He’ll give you the shirt off his back but I don’t know. I need more. I need someone I can rely on…. I dunno if I’m just being cranky, but I just hate feeling like I’m the man in the relationship. I work. I go to school. I must plan our weekends. It’s like I’m the dude.
I dunno. Lemme stop rambling. It’s a New Year, hopefully with new beginnings.
Okay, so here is my story. I’m 26 years old and I have a beautiful daughter. She is 8 years old.
I broke up with her father 2 years old when he went to jail for the 2nd time in her life. In April, I was able to finally stand alone. I got my own apartment and I have been doing Great as far as taking care of her which I have always done and maintaining a stable home, which I just recently done. That’s the good part.
Back in June, I met another guy. Everything seemed so perfect. He was amazing at first. Then in April, we finally broke up. I was upset but I was moving on. I saw him on and off until October. He had met someone new in April and by May, she was pregnant. I was upset but I was still OK. Well up until October, he was trying to convince her to get an abortion. She already had another child which had been taken from her by the child’s father. This girl expressed to me that “I don’t give a f@#k about a baby. I’m all about a check”. I knew then for sure she wanted to have a baby to hurt him. She constantly threatened him that he will never see the baby. She even went so far as to have some guy put a gun to his head and others who threatened to kill him. Well, she had other boyfriends while she was pregnant and when her and the other guys split up, she would always end up in the emergency room, and of course, he had to run to her rescue. I think that might be his baby.
Okay so had been back to together officially in October and I thought I could handle everything. Until November, when the girl goes to the hospital and he had to run again. I was fed up and annoyed. I explained to him that his situation was too much for me. Then in the beginning of December, I find out that I too am pregnant. Then on the 21st, they had their baby. The baby was 2 lbs 10 ozs. This girl never took her meds and was always trying to fight, she even wanted to fight me. Which I never did because I know this guy would have never been able to forgive me if we fought and something happened to the baby. No, the baby just started breathing on her own and the DNA test was yesterday and I don’t know the results yet. But I am terrified.
What am supposed to do? I am going to keep my baby but I know I am going to be all alone. And my daughter’s father and I are really good friends but once he finds out, our friendship will end. I have no one to talk to because anyone I tell will think I’m so stupid for keeping this baby under these conditions. But I can’t help but think that having an abortion because of imperfect conditions is not right for me. I haven’t talked to the guy in a couple of days. I just want to be able to sit down and decide a plan so they we can get through this with the least amount of stress as possible. I’m also hoping and praying this baby isn’t his. Because if it is, then he and I separately or together will have so many problems. Plus when I told him, he said he wanted me to have his baby. I feel so alone and stressed out. I feel selfish because no matter whose baby she is, I am only thinking about me and mine and how I feel, when there is a baby fighting for her life.
I feel like a horrible person.
Well last Wednesday, I finished school, at least high school for now.
I was stoked and got to see a ex the next day at the airport. Needless to say, he’s changed for the best and really making me think. It’s been almost 2 years that we have been best of friends or a couple. I love him with all my heart. He’s deploying soon and I really want to help him while he’s there. I don’t want to rush anything at all. We talked like the best of friends, but the pain that he caused with the abortion is still there. Last night, I was invited to his family Christmas party. His sister had a kid a A MERE WEEK AGO!! I thought I could handle it, knowing I saw her a month before she had him. I really couldn’t.
A lot of people say give him a chance but I paid the ultimate sacrifice to be with him and it hurts twice as much since the anniversary is coming up. I believe he’s really changed. He’s still snippy sometimes but not as bad. When he’s like that, I let him cool down. I’m running when he’s like that, even in the winter with snow and ice.
I never give second chances, but I kinda want a opinion.
Hey! Last night, I dropped the bomb on my boyfriend on how I wanted to get engaged soon. Yea, I know I am 15 but I planned my life out earlier than most people. Like I love him and I know I do…
I am involved in Standupgirl.com. There are people there that understand me… and what I am going through. Like, there’s this girl. She’s 15, has one child, and one on the way. She’s said she don’t regret it but she would do it over if she could but she can’t change it now … She told me if I was ready, I could go for it but I decided to talk it over with my boyfriend and talk about getting engaged and taking the first step together….
Now all I have to do is wait for him to take the next one by himself and ask me to be his fiancé…….
