What Am I Supposed To Do?

by | 2007 | Real Stories

Okay so here is my story.  I'm 26 years old and I have a beautiful daughter, she is 8 years old.  I broke up with her father 2 years old when he went to jail for 2nd time in her life.  In April of '07 I was able to finally stand alone.  I gt my […]

Okay so here is my story.  I'm 26 years old and I have a beautiful daughter, she is 8 years old.  I broke up with her father 2 years old when he went to jail for 2nd time in her life.  In April of '07 I was able to finally stand alone.  I gt my own apartment and I have been doing Great as far as taking care of her which I have always done and maintaining a stable home which I just recently done.  That's the good part.  Back in JUne of '06 I met another guy.  Everything seemed so perfect.  He was amazing at first.  Then in April of '07 we finally broke up.  I was upset but I was moving on.  I saw him on and off until October '07.  He had met someone new in April and by May she was pregnant.  I was upset but I was still ok.  Well up until October he was trying to convince her to get an abortion.  She already had another child which had been taken from her by the child's father.  This girl expressed to me that "I don't give a f@#k about a baby I'm all about a check".  I knew then for sure she wanted to have a baby to hurt hom.  She constantly threathened him that he will never see the baby.  She even went so far as to have some guy put a gun to his head and others who threathened to kill him.  Well she had other boyfriends while she was pregnant and when her and the other guys split up she would always end up in kthe emergency room, and of course he had to run to her rescue.  I might that might be his baby.  Okay so had been back to together offically in October and I thought I could handle everything.  Until Novemeber when the girl goes to the hospital and he had to run again.  I was fed up and annoyed.  I explained to him that his situtation was too much for me.  Then in the beginning of December I find out that I too am pregnant.  Then on the 21st they had there baby.  The baby was 2lbs 10ozs.  This girl never took her meds and was always trying to fight, she even wanted to fight me.  Which I never did because I know this guy would have never been able to forgive me if we fought and something happened to the baby.  No the baby just started breathing on her own and the DNA test was yesterday and I don't know the results yet.  But I am terrified.  What am  supposed to do.  I am going to keep my baby but I know I am going to be all alone.  And my daughter's father and I are really good friends but once he finds out our friendship will end.  I have no one to talk to because anyone I tell will think I'm so stupid for keeping this baby under these conditions.  But I can't help but think that having an abortion because of imperfect conditions is not right for me.  I haven't talked to the guy in a couple of days.  I just want to be able to sit down and decide a plan so they we can get through this with the least amount of stress as possible.  I'm also hoping and praying this baby isn't his.  Because if it is then he and I seperately or together will have so many problems.  Plus when I told him he said he wanted me to have his baby.  I feel so alone and stressed out.  I feel selfish because no matter whose baby she is I am only thinking about me and mine and how I feel, when there is a baby fighting for her life.  I feel like a horrible person.

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