i want

I may be young and only in middle school, but I’m ready to have a baby. And I do know how hard it is, but I know I’m ready. But who I’m with has said he doesn’t want kids, but after he met me he wants one. I’m 13 and he’s 15, he’s 2 years older than me, but we love one another and we are ready for this life and we are ready to bring a little miracle into this world.

CONFESSION TIME (: #1

I must confess, I am BEYOND impatient, that it’s freaking crazy and I rush everything, and I hate waiting. Truthfully, it is the worst feeling in the world.  I’m 18 and pregnant, the worst combo. PREGNANT+IMPATIENT=CRAZY MOM!

IDK but I’m literally a freaking lunatic, being pregnant has made me into a whole new person, and I just, idk, wanna attack everything and everyone to move faster. It’s so embarrassing, but what I adore is that my baby’s father puts up with every second of it. IDK why, but the kid loves me <3

So, anyone know how to fix this? Because I think it’s only gonna get worse 🙁

First doctor check up tomorrow!!

So the first time I went to the doctor’s, it was just a regular thing. They also did all my blood work there as well.

Then a couple of days later, I went to a nurse (I liked her better x3). And she did the same thing my doctor did, but she was very more thorough with everything (:
My first actual check-up is tomorrow. My mom called them today from work not too long ago, and they wanted me in asap so they got me in for 9:30 am. Just because I am so far along without any checkups and such. I am kind of scared and nervous because I hear a lot of things about this doctor :/ But this is the doctor who my mom had for me and my little brother, I think. He will also be delivering my little one as well.

I hope tomorrow goes alright :/ Unfortunately, my boyfriend can’t make it due to work. But he can thankfully make it to the first ultrasound (:  And then I’ll hopefully be able to work around his schedule for further appointments. My baby is moving around a lot inside ^_^ And my boyfriend felt it and he had the biggest smile ear to ear (: It made me feel so good. Usually, when he tries to feel the baby, it just won’t move for him… So this is the first time he’s actually felt it good. (:

Well, I am just hoping for the best for tomorrow. I am hoping this doctor is going to be decent to me because I already am not comfortable around any doctors… Just because of my family doctor :/. Anyway, my mom says this doctor is very blunt… So we’ll see what he has to say to me -.- .. I will update you guys tomorrow when I can on how my checkup goes with the baby and me.

Thanks for all the support! <3

13 weeks and still negative?

My First blog 🙂

I used the pregnancy calculator on this site and it said I should be 13 weeks now, and I’ve had every symptom that I’ve seen anywhere on the internet, even started to gain a little belly (I’ve gained 4kgs too which is what the internet expects at 13 weeks too).

But with all that I can’t seem to get a positive pregnancy test…

I mean, I’m only 17 and haven’t been with my boyfriend for long so it wouldn’t be a bad thing if I wasn’t, but I’m pretty sure that I am.

According to Google (which of course never lies), there are tonnes of people who don’t produce enough hGC to show up on a test and I don’t know if I fit into that category or if I’m just a whiny little girl that’s getting fat.

I don’t know. I’m going to the doctor’s on Monday to see what’s up.

(I secretly hope I am.)

Woohoo!

Today is my 27-week mark (:

I am so excited. I have been looking at names, but there are soo many and it’s just so stressful! Lol. My mom got me this book of baby names with 20,001 in it 0.o… So, I am just going through and circling the names I like, then I am going to get my boyfriend to circle the ones he likes, and put stars by ones that I have already circled that he likes as well. I want something very unique that no one/not a lot of people have, something new, but something not crazy 0.o Something cute and enjoyable (: Lol.

I am not that big for about 27 weeks, but I know there are still like 3 more months (November 19th). So I am hoping I don’t get too much bigger or I am going to be worried about how badly this is going to hurt lol. I am really hoping to be able to have this baby naturally, just for the least pain and less healing time. But, my mom did need to get a c-section because her bones wouldn’t move to allow the baby to allow me and my brother to come through, so she needed a cesarian for both of us. I am really excited for the ultrasound on the 31st, I can’t wait to find out what it is! Hear the heartbeat and get to see it for the first time. Wow, everything is still just so overwhelming and probably always will be.

I do have a plan and I am hoping to stick to it. (yn) We’ll see how it goes! (:

hei there

I haven’t been on here much lately, I feel like I’m neglecting you girls. Why? Because I know when I first joined with my story and with talking to people, I helped a lot of girls to calm down and see that whatever the situation was, it was not as hopeless and dark as it may seem either. If they just found out they were pregnant, they either decided to keep it, they just went through an abortion, or didn’t end up choosing because they lost their child. It’s funny, so many different situations. I am still young (well at least I think I am) yet I can relate to all of them.

I got my life somehow back on track with my last miscarriage. and I also decided ( with my doctors) that it looked like that adoption would be my only way. Or surrogacy, but that isn’t allowed where I live.

I’m doing my MBA, working, and thinking about going somewhere far, like to Kenya or Zimbabwe, and help the people there, for a month, 6 months, or maybe a year. I still haven’t made up my mind about it, but I will let you know how things will work out.

As for the guys I’ve been with, the father of the child I aborted broke down a few months ago. Everything that seemed so right to him about the abortion at that time, didn’t feel like that anymore, and we talked and cried and released balloons. I think that chapter of my life is really closed/ended now.

The father of my girls…Well, we tried to work things out, but it just didn’t go well. Not well, it didn’t go at all. And you know what I matured enough to see I do not need someone who would tell me how I feel about anything or do something that way, or would be all pissy at me just because he is in a bad mood. We are parents, we both love our girls, and we will be seeing each other on angelversarys, but that’s it. I will always love him. He is the father. Half of his heart, just like the half of mine is gone, somewhere up there in heaven, and I think this will be the thing that will always connect us.

As for my relationship status, I am single, and I am enjoying it 🙂

OK, that got pretty long, but like I said, I felt bad for not being here for so long.