DREAM JOB

I always thought my dream job would be to work at a crisis pregnancy center. I now work there as the office manager and counselor.

When the women come in to talk, my heart bleeds for them. I have been through much of what they are going through. It is almost overwhelming, but I just remember God leads every word I say because NOTHING I say alone would ever cut it!

My Story.young and pregnant

Well, I’m 15. 4 months pregnant. The baby’s due June 17.

I’m soo happy. I hope it’s a girl. My dad doesn’t know yet. My family is VERY Christian oriented, so I wonder how that will pass.

I’m friendly and just wanna talk sooo. I’ll keep everyone up-2-date with baby info.

help

Hi. Just two days ago, I found out that I was three months pregnant. I know I was for the simple fact that I had missed my period twice. I just didn’t want to believe I was.
I always wanted to have a baby, even at this young age of 15 but I wanted to have it with the person I loved and I guessed it came true but I didn’t know how to break it down to him. I thought a lot about it, like if I will really be ready to take care this baby with the situations that may come my way and I think I would. My mom didn’t know either but ever since she’s seen the text messages of me and my boyfriend talking about the time we had sex without a condom about three months ago, she’s been telling me not to have a baby if you cant teach the baby or feed the baby, you know the quote but if you of Michael Jacksons songs lol. But I feel that I could take care of my baby and teach my baby right from wrong, but she seems not to think I could.
Before I meet my boyfriend, I used to wild out but I guess he calmed me down a lot. I went to cheating on every relationship I ever had to being so faithful. I went from having sex with so many guys to just being with him.
But not too long ago when I had a hint that I was pregnant, I had to ask my boyfriend if I was to ever get pregnant would he ever change towards me and he told me yes. I had thought for the worst, being that he would hate me but I asked him why and he said because he would love me more, knowing that I’m the mother of his child and I’m the one he wants to have his child. I asked him what would we do if I became pregnant and he first said he would want me to move in with him. So I feel better knowing that he says he’s going to be there for me but that’s not always guaranteed.
My real fear is how I’m going to tell my mom cuz I have the feeling she’s going to be pissed off at me cuz she had her child at 16 too and she didn’t want none of this for us but I refuse to give up my child are have an abortion.
So could someone tell me what should I do? I need help?

Every single day

Every day ever since that horrible day at the clinic, I think about her.

Every day, I beg God to forgive me; every day, I regret the decision I made; every day, when I look at my boyfriend, I hate him more than I did yesterday. Does it ever go away? Does the pain ever stop? Do these horrible memories ever go away? I’ve gone for counselling and still I feel angry and lonely. One day, I’m fine. The next day, I feel so disgusted with myself for making such a selfish decision. I feel like I’m a monster. I have lost myself. I don’t know who I am anymore.

Would this pain I feel every single day ever go away??

I CAN’T FORGIVE HIM

I thought it was over. I thought I had forgiven him for asking me to do such a horrible thing, but I can’t stop thinking about what he asked me to do and every time I think about it, I feel so angry and disgusted by him!!

I hate him for making me pregnant and asking me to abort my baby. I hate him!! I can’t forgive him. The pain is just too much.

I can’t forgive him!

I’m okay

It was January 28. I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was the day that I took my first ever pregnancy test. I was only 17 years old and still in high school. As I waited for the results to show up on the screen, I felt so nervous on what it was going to say. Some people say that some people know when they are pregnant, that they can feel that their bodies are changing. As I looked down onto the bathroom sink, the stick said pregnant (I had one of those digital tests). So many things ran through my mind at the time, but I don’t believe in abortions so I knew what I had to do. Knowing that I had my family and my baby’s daddy made everything okay.

Well around the time I was about 5 months, that’s when things started to go bad. My baby daddy stopped calling and stopped coming by. I went about 2 months without talking to him, I finally found him hanging outside some girl’s house. Nevertheless, things started to get a little better between me and him and then he asked me to marry him. Well on October 13, I went into labor and on October 14 at 4:51 am, my daughter was born. Yeah, her father was there the whole time. I thought that everything was going to be okay. I was so wrong. About 6 months later, I found out that he had been cheating on me since my daughter was 1 month old and after catching him numerous times at her house, I broke it off with him.Being the person that I am (I used to be), I went to her house on one of those days and I got into a fight with her cousin. Then a couple of days later at the courthouse, I hit the girl with my car (she wouldn’t move). After all this they decided to go and have me up for trespassing, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, and communicating threats. Oh if I could turn back the hands of time.

Well to make a long story shorter, my daughter is now 3 years old and is the LOVE of my life. My baby daddy hasn’t even tried to see her ever. He hasn’t ever brought her anything. Wait……. he did give her $20 once (LOL). I feel bad because I do want her to know her father, but I don’t know where he lives, or how to get in touch with him. I’ve given up on that. He also hit me once, thinking I was his girlfriend (that he does hit) but I fixed that quickly. I stabbed him. Now I know this wasn’t a good idea and he could have died but he never tried it again.  A couple of months ago, Social Services finally found him (YEAHHHHH!!!) so I have a court order for child support. He hasn’t paid anything yet, but who cares cuz if he doesn’t pay, he goes straight to jail. I am kind of mad because my daughter hasn’t gotten anything for her birthday or for Christmas from him, but GOD has blessed us and we don’t need him for anything. Sometimes I wish that I would have never met him but then I realize that If I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have my daughter. She made me what I am today and I love her to death. He is so mad at me that he thinks that by cussing me out and not paying his child support is hurting me but he is actually hurting himself. My boyfriend takes care of us both now.

I know remind myself that he is the one missing out because we have a beautiful daughter and he’s missing out on a lot.