I thought he loved me!!
I was 14 years when we first started dating. I had just broken up with a recent boyfriend. I had no intention of getting into something deep, and I had no clue it was going to happen. He was my former next-door neighbor, he was a bully towards me. I hated him when I was younger, all the torture had put me through, made me think we’d never be friends ever. (remember never say never). So we started messing around and it was great. He was real nice (I had thought he had changed) We were just fooling around until the next month came and fooling around became like, like became love. .(Oh so I thought)
Six months into the relationship, I’m pregnant (It was planned). I had just turned 15 years old and I was prego. 5 years
later, been 5 year way too long. A lot has happened. My son’s three now. I’m on my own. We had been together on and off for 5 years and he has cheated, beaten, and betrayed me in every way possible. I had just moved into my own
place and I had even given him a chance to be here with us as a family. I had given him a chance, and after a year
being here, he had betrayed me (not surprised). He was with some other girl this whole time, and had gotten her pregnant just recently. It hurts, it really does, but there’s nothing I can do now. All I can do is live one day at a time, with GOD by my side. Love will come one day, and will not hurt. Yeah I wish I had that family with both parents, but I realized everything doesn’t always go your way.
Maddii3
When I was 19, I had just broken up with my partner of 3 years and, trying to find a way to curb the hurt and loneliness, went home with a complete stranger from the local club. What was to be a one-night stand turned out to be so much more. I fell head over heels for this boy and he, the same for me. Things moved fast but everything felt right. I had never felt this strongly about anyone even though we had only been together a couple of months. But only a month after that things were changing, he was becoming distant on occasion and not the guy I knew so well. I was in his bedroom one night whilst he slept. His phone kept ringing and he didn’t wake to answer it, but keeping my nose out of his business, I didn’t answer it. What came next was such a shock. His ex turned up and claimed him and her had never broken up. A million things ran through my head. I left the room and waited outside so they could talk and what seemed like years passed. She finally came out and said he was in the shower. He followed about 10 minutes later and announced they were back together and he was going to town. He left me on his driveway with no transport in the middle of the night, completely distraught.
I found out a week later that I was pregnant with his child. I arranged a time to speak to him about everything. It didn’t go well. He denied it was his and told me he was infertile. I left that day, feeling so alone, I couldn’t tell my mum she wouldn’t understand. My friends were not supportive bar 1. I was so lost, so confused. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that I had a child I could love growing inside me. He contacted me again and accused me of making up that I was pregnant to keep him. He told me I was childish and it wasn’t going to work and for him to believe me, I needed proof. This was easier said than done. I asked my doctor, who just looked at me oddly. I brought him my appt card for an ultrasound scheduled for the next day. And to my shock, he turned up.
Everything changed once he saw the scan. Once he knew I was telling the truth, he held me for so long whilst I cried and cried. I stayed at his house the next few days and ran through our options. he was so supportive he promised to be there for me whatever I decided to do. Finally, things seemed to be getting easier. I decided straight away I couldn’t abort this baby. It meant more to me than anything else in my life at that time. But sadly the reaction he had when I told him wasn’t quite what i had expected. I had never seen him so mad. I yelled back to defend myself but really achieving nothing. It only got worse from there. He threatened to take me to court to prove that I would be an unfit mother. He told me he would make my life hell and that I was making a huge mistake. But once again, he came round and calmed down. I told my mother Christmas day, probably not the best of days I know, and she wanted me to abort as well. It really felt like the whole world was my enemy.
Between mum and him, I was forced into an abortion. I told the councilor the whole story and how it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to let my baby live. She wouldn’t allow the abortion and I was so relieved, but it didn’t take long before I was forced to attend another appt and told I had to lie to get that abortion. I wanted to run away to leave for a different country and never look back but I didn’t have the resources I was stuck in a black hole. I had to go to the 2nd appt and lie to the councilor. Once everything was approved, he promised to stay by my side and be there for me through everything. I didn’t sleep for days prior and was made to stay at his place the night before so he could take me in the morning. I refused to get out of the car and grabbed hold of anything I could like a stubborn child but I was dragged crying into the clinic.
It was cold in there. There was no love in the air. Everyone and everything was silent. There was no turning back and nothing I could do. I told the nurse I didn’t want to go through with it and she said you’re just scared. I was trapped with no way out. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was given a tablet to start the process and that was the end. The pain was indescribable: mentally and physically. It was all over very quickly and my memory is hazy. But he dropped me off home where my mother greeted me with all done!! I was mortified and ran to my room. He promised to come back after work and see how I was but he didn’t turn up. I rang him and he was at a party with his new girlfriend. i should have known he was only promising to be there until he got what he wanted.
I stayed in my room for weeks, literally. I felt so alone. I lost 20 kilos and was skin and bone. I wanted my life to end. I felt I didn’t deserve to live. I had taken the life of my baby. Why should I deserve to be on this earth?
It’s been 2 and a half years now, and I still don’t forgive myself. I still don’t forgive him but more so myself because I’m sure if I was stronger, I could have found support and changed what happened. Having the abortion took such a toll on my life and it still does in so many ways. I don’t talk about my story even my best friends don’t know what happened and I don’t think i will ever tell them. This is the first time I’ve written about it.
I wish for anyone who is in to a similar situation to what i was to follow there hearts and don’t be pressured into something you don’t want to do.
Learn from my mistakes 🙂
I’m just taking one day at a time, hoping this pain will subside soon.
I get up in the morning and I get out of bed and I have a shower and get us ready, make breakfast which I don’t want to eat, and then I head out for the day. I can’t stay inside the house all day long. I can’t believe I’m so shattered. All the other days were looking good, but it’s storming today, and I’ve just shattered again.
I’m not coping very well at all…Just one day at a time.
So I’m 18 years old and I found out I was pregnant in January…
It was a big shock for me because it was totally unplanned… I was 8 hours away from home and scared like crazy… It hadn’t even crossed my mind until I realized I was late… I didn’t think I was pregnant but it wouldn’t leave the back of my mind so one day, I went to Walmart and took a test and sure enough, it was positive. I didn’t believe it at 1st. It took another test and a clinic visit later to finally believe it… I wasn’t sure what I was going to do… I knew exactly who the father was but I also knew what he’d say. You see I’m not with my baby’s daddy, I never officially was. I’ve known him for 4 years and he was my first love and basically first everything… We always had a very complicated relationship and I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I hadn’t even talked to him since I went back home the month before for Christmas… Around the same time, I must have conceived.
A few days after I went to the clinic, I decided it was time to tell my sister. I told her and that’s when it hit me… This was really happening… I really was pregnant… The very next day, my other sister came to pick me up and bring me back home. I didn’t know what else to do so I gave up the life I spent the last 5 months trying to make for myself. I was trying to get my life back on track. I was tired of messing mine up and it seemed like I was doing good. I was studying hard for the pharmacy tech program I was in. I had cooled down on the partying and drinking, and even sex…and even though up until that night I hadn’t had sex in a long time, that’s all it takes… One time… And in one night, I changed my life forever without even knowing it…
After coming home, I was pretty confused. I didn’t really want to talk about it. I wasn’t sure how I really felt but I knew I couldn’t have an abortion, not that I’m against it but it wasn’t the right choice for me. I finally told the baby’s daddy and he took it better then I expected but still wasn’t ready to commit to being a daddy and I wasn’t going to make him. It was his choice, just like it was my choice to keep it. And even though, I was keeping it, I don’t think I was happy about it. At first, I was too scared but somewhere along the line, that all changed. I want this baby now.
It may have been unplanned but it was not a mistake. Everything happens for a reason… Now I’m 14 weeks pregnant and although, at times, I just want to go back, I know I made the right choice. It’s not always easy especially since not everyone is supportive and the baby’s daddy and I kind of had a big falling out and aren’t speaking. I know in the end when I have a beautiful baby to hold and it will all be worth it.
Hi, I am 18 and I am unexpectedly pregnant.
My husband and I got married almost a year ago, and had decided against kids for a while; like a couple years or so. We didn’t decide exactly on a date, but we knew that we had other things that we had wanted to do. I am in school, and I spend most of my time there, and when I am not at school, I am studying, working on homework, looking for a job (I lost mine a few months ago), and with what is left of my time, I spend with my husband or with friends. There are days where I feel like I am stretched pretty thin, and I didn’t know how I was going to handle things.
Well, we went on a vacation for a week, and I had thought that I was sick. We went out to eat, and the smell and taste of things made me nauseous. I wanted these pancakes, and when we went to the restaurant and I had gotten them, I suddenly got really nauseous. I knew that I was sick, I had the flu or something, but I didn’t know that I was pregnant. I was always so tired, and weak. I didn’t connect the dots when I started getting tender breasts. Well when I got back from the vacation, I was wondering why I hadn’t gotten my period, so I went and bought a test. I had thought that it was a false positive all the times I took it until my husband said, you’re pregnant.
After a lot of decision making, we have decided to keep the baby; whether it was in the plan or not.
Just when you think you find someone… It all ends in a shattering display of broken pieces. Ah well, I know it ended and I’m not in that much pain. On the one hand, I have this weird feeling of freedom and like I can move on. He left because it was in his right to leave… He did not take me or my dignity or my ability to love with him….that stayed behind with me — and I’m dealing fine. It just feels a little empty without him — all these weird thoughts come into my head.
It scares me now that maybe I will be a single mother forever and ever and ever. I get scared that I will never have somebody to love me and to help me and to treat me right like a woman will be treated. I get scared that I will never have a family with a lot of children and be the mother of that family and make sure that my house is happy. It just scares me.
But life goes on. As long as I have the ability to love and not be afraid of the future — goodness, I have a beautiful son. I have lovely friends who supported me so much through the darker days when it actually was hard to wake up in the morning, I have God…I have love….I have a future….I have a degree to finish this year. I have a new flat to move in to next year… I have a family to visit in my homeland in a few months…Life goes on.
It will be fine. Life goes on. There’s hope. I just have to stop worrying and let go of this fear. For He is looking after me.
