So…I have this unquenchable desire to be a mother.
Even though I’m still in college, working on a degree for Art Education. I’ve had unprotected sex with my boyfriend a lot, and we’re honestly trying to get pregnant. And now that I think I am, I keep thinking about certain things we’ll have to do. We’ll have to rent an apartment near our school so that he can still attend classes while I would need to get a full-time job and drop out of school for a while. I’ll need to tell my super-conservative Christian parents and beg and plead with them to not get disowned. I’m a Christian, and know that pre-marital sex is wrong, but I listened to my gut instincts and tried for a baby with my boyfriend. Now this possibility is staring me in the face, and I’m scared to death and excited to see the results at the same time.
What should I do? I’m very confused and need help and people to talk to.
So I went from being in a situation with 2 possible dads, now to knowing the real father…
I had an amniocentesis done a while back now, and it was a big relief to finally know who the dad was, and it turned out to be my ex-boyfriend of 3 years. At first, he seemed okay, a bit… It wasn’t like he hated the thought, and then all of a sudden, he turned on me. I remained friends with the other guy and now he’s my go-to guy that I can talk to.
He said even having the scare that he was going to be a father changed his life. He’s been skydiving, taking pilot lessons, and doing all kinds of crazy intense things to get it all out of his system, but at the same time, he’s doing things he loves so that when he does have a baby, he won’t react the same way and abandon whoever it is he’s with… Now my ex-boyfriend of 3 years says ” I don’t care what you do, whatever, I don’t care, f off, f u.” But the minute he found out I was hanging out with the other guy, he just seems to think he can say hurtful things that will bring me down… He doesn’t understand that the other guy was my friend for years. Just the other day, he told me not to speak to him till the baby was born (in February). I also needed some info from him to get unemployment for my parental benefits and he refused to give that to me, also threatened to call the unemployment place where my maternity was already approved and tell them to not give me it, for such and such reasons (such as I’M NOT THE FATHER )…
I can see why he would be a little pissed off at me and all. I can’t get the proof from the dr’s office and he’s not allowed to review the papers cause his name isn’t on them, but why would I lie when it comes to something this major? Specially when the other guy is financially fit and would make a great dad. Just because he’s my ex? All I really wanted to say when he pretty much accused me of doing so was, right… Can you pull your head outta your butt now? The world doesn’t revolve around you… I’m 23 weeks & 5 days as of today and I know I shouldn’t be feeling stressed and upset all the time. I did eliminate him from my life for now, and my dad’s girlfriend gave me some pretty encouraging words and my family has been more supportive now. (for now )… I just wish I knew what was going through his head. He told me a few days prior… “It’s hard to love you, because of the stuff you pulled.” ( Which was nothing at all? ) ” I love you sometimes.”…
But any memories, we had or done all fade away a little at a time when I feel that baby kick… It’s the most amazing feeling in the world and he’s missing it… I just hope he comes to realize he walked away on 2 of the most important people in his life, regardless if he says he hates me, deep down… He’s only saying them as words… Which is why he doesn’t wanna talk to me & be around me, because I’m not the person he makes me out to be to people and he knows it…
I just hope he comes to realize he has to step up and be a man now… and if he doesn’t, he’s gonna be sorry… specially when that baby is old enough to realize…
OK, so here is my story. I am 18 and pregnant with my first. I am 6 weeks and 5 days and will be due on June 21.
But let’s take this way back before me. My mom got pregnant with me at 15 and had me when she was 16. My grandparents said she was on the loose side but I don’t hate her for that. I hate her because I have never met my father. There’s a man running out there who doesn’t even know I am his daughter. It makes me cry all the time. When I was 3, my mom met this man and within a few weeks, she moved us in with him. She says because I asked if he was my daddy so she married him so he would be. My grandmother didn’t like this and got custody of me and my mom and stepfather fought over me in court. I went back and forth before finally being with my mother.
When I was 5, my mom had another little girl, and another one when I was 9, and another one when I was 13. My mother’s husband was abusive. He would hit me so hard I would bleed. My mom often encouraged it and his anger grew when my mom was pregnant with the 2nd girl, he grabbed her by her neck and raised her against the wall. Some nights, I could hear him get mad at my mom for saying no to sex and he would bang her head against the wall. They finally divorced after awhile but then my mom ran wild, drinking and hooking up with guys. I was left to raise my 3 sisters at 13. After a few weeks of the divorce, they came and got my sisters. It broke my heart and I am not used to it yet and its been almost 5 years. Those were my babies. And I have seen them 2 times and one time, my sister told me he hits them. And I don’t want to call the child services because they would get split up or go to a foster home where they would get sexually abused. And I don’t know what to do about any of this.
Well after a month or two or maybe a little more, she met this guy and within that week, we were living in his house. His ex-girlfriend was living there with her new boyfriend and her son and daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and a family friend and everybody was crowded as it was. After about a year living there, we moved out and got our own house. My mom got a job and a car. Everything was going so great I thought but it didn’t last long.
We moved into our new home in Sep and by Feb of that next year, she was pregnant. I was not happy because I remember how she would lock up the middle child, not feed her, and leave her diaper full until I got home from school. Well, she had her in the end of August and my little sis was born premature but survived. And by Feb of that next year, she was pregnant again this time with a boy and had him in Oct. Then I became a house servant to her again. Watching the kids, cooking, cleaning, cutting grass. I even left public school and went into homeschool so I could help more but nothing satisfied her. Then about a month before I turned 18, she got a job because she didn’t have money to go buy video games.
And I did become a mom. I was there day and night for them kids, not a thank you at all. A week before I turned 18, my friend was moving out of state and asked me did I want to go. I thought about it a whole lot. And I decided to jump at it because I didn’t know when my mom was going to go crazy, kick me out, and I have nowhere to go with no job, no friends. So I had the chance and I took it! I packed my things and that morning of my birthday, I was gone. I left in the morning because I know she would call the police and that’s what she did but they said they couldn’t do anything because I am 18.
When I left I got a job, a car. I had already finished high school and I had been talking to a great guy for 5 years before I left my mom’s house and when I had a place, he moved in with me. I don’t regret it but then shortly, I found out that I was pregnant and I am 18. I have a car and house. I don’t work because my boyfriend wants me to spend all the time I can resting and doesn’t mind rolling up his sleeves and working for me and his child. I miss my sisters and my brother so much. My mom blocked my number and won’t call me. She has my number. Everybody in my family knows that I am pregnant and they are okay with it. When I left my mom’s house, she called everyone, crying about how she was gonna take care of her babies and called me selfish and some other bad words. She called my cousin and asked if she wanted to babysit and live there for free but wouldn’t have money for nothing she wanted another me. People have said that I am a lot like her and other negative things but I know that’s not the truth, so please don’t comment like that.
I just want some support some friendly words something I miss my family so much and I cant even talk to them thanks for reading.
I’m a 17 year old girl…just about to finish High school. I’ve been with my boy friend for a year and 3 months now…We love each other dearly and do wish to be together for many years to come. In the community where I come from, sex before marriage is a big NO NO!! Girls who do that are labeled and teenage pregnancy is an utter disgrace, especially in the eyes of religious people.
My dream from 7th grade was to study Law and become a successful lawyer, and now that I’m so close to that dream everything seems to be vanishing slowly. A few months ago, my boyfriend and I had intercourse. However, the next day, I took the emergency contraception pill ” morning after” and I didn’t land up pregnant…I don’t know if anyone would understand. But once you have sex, it’s inevitable that it’ll happen again. I could not go on the normal birth control pill, due to my parents. If they knew, I think I’d be dead! So we abstained until last week… We had sex and I think I might have been ovulating at the time so I’m assuming that I could be pregnant…
I was doing research on abortion and I came across this site… And after reading all these amazing stories, I’ve realized how selfish I am to even think of aborting. In order for me to go and study further, I cannot have a baby. My father would never pay for my studies and this is why I thought that I won’t have anything to give my child. How would I survive? And now, its like my mind set changed because deep down, I know that if I do happen to be pregnant, its what God wanted to happen… It may seem all tough and hard now but as time goes by, somewhere down the line, things WILL be okay…
My biggest fear is my boyfriend… He comes from a very respected family and I don’t think ANY one in his family made a girl pregnant before marriage or got pregnant before marriage and I don’t want to make history in his family! I’m having thoughts of maybe ending what I have with him so that he can have a better life and that he can study and become successful. I love him dearly and I don’t know how and what I will do without him, but I won’t be able to survive knowing that its coz of me that his dreams are shattered! We’ve spoken about me being pregnant on several occasions and he wants to be there for me through every step but I know that its gonna be hard for him. Its just a feeling I cannot explain as to why I want to cut him out.
What I did was wrong! I should have waited till the time was right and I just want all the young girls out there to know that you should think twice before making a decision… I don’t think me and my boyfriend were thinking at the time when we first had sex. I now know and believe that there’s a time and place for everything and I feel that I rushed into things too quick…
I have finals coming up…so if I’m pregnant, by the time I give birth, I would already have a high school certificate and can find a small job to support the baby and I… God will never put a situation on your shoulders if he knows you cannot handle it. I now know that if I am pregnant, no matter who tells me what and how many people talk and label me, I WILL FIGHT and I wont give up because I know that things happen for a reason…
Abortion is not the way out and I hope that many readers will realize that…
The mistake was falling pregnant, don’t make another mistake by killing your child! Children are blessings and I think once they’re there, one forgets of all the hardships they had to go through!
i just discovered that I’m pregnant.
I was actually trying but now its happened. I’m quite scared. even though I’m happy.
Is it normal to feel this way in the early stages?
I found out I was pregnant a week ago yesterday. It was a total accident and my boyfriend wasn’t even in the country to tell so I dealt with it all alone until I finally cracked and told him over the phone and he flew back to “be with me”. We talked all night long the night he came back and decided that we weren’t in a situation where we could bring up a baby. The words not now, not like this – that I’ve read so many times – were exactly the ones that we told each other. I question now how on earth I could have been so selfish. Our baby didn’t ask to be conceived – that was our decision accidentally or not. I made the appointment and was seen quickly and the whole thing has passed in a dream.
I went for the medical abortion as I was only 4 weeks from conception. I had the first pill Monday and surprise surprise, my boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. I cried myself to sleep (I say sleep even though I got 3 hours) and woke yesterday feeling totally numb. All of a sudden the realisation of what I would have to do had hit me and I knew that even worse, I was faced with doing it alone. I went back for my second pill yesterday and lost the baby yesterday evening.
My boyfriend has said that he is angry with himself for doing this to me and can’t let me see him cry. I am absolutely devastated and feel like the one person i can share this with has abandoned me. I know he would not have been the father for our baby that I would have needed him to be but I could have been the Mother that I have dreamt of being. Why did I rush to make this decision?? How will I ever forgive myself – how will our baby ever forgive me? I cry at night and in the daytime too. I just think that I’ve made a decision that will haunt me forever and wonder if I have ruined my future all because of a selfish desire to have better and be better than I am and have now.
How could I do this to my own child?
