Hey, I am 15 years old. I found out I was pregnant at 14 and I am now 29 weeks and 6 days pregnant… And I am soooo scared.
Idk how to be a mom but I do know I love the little girl that is grownin’ inside of me, more than my own life. I’ve given sooo much up to have her, but it still makes me sad sometimes because I live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone’s business and I get judged everyday. I have cried myself to sleep so many nights, it’s not funny… But I am raising this child by myself and I worry sometimes, will 1 parent be enough? Or will my child need more.?.?. I am very blessed to have the parents I do. My dad is very very strict but he is pro-life as am I… and it took my dad awhile to deal with me being pregnant at such a young age… but he is bein’ very supportive and helpful. My mom is an amazin’ woman. She’s been here for me since the beginning…
I am very lucky to be able to be happy about my pregnancy.. but I am here for anyone that wants too talk =) and I will take any free advice…
December 28th, 2008.
I hope somebody’s reading this. somebody who needs it. somebody who just doesn’t know what to do, or what to think.
Life, is about choices. At 16, I made a very big choice. I chose to keep the most beautiful gift I’d ever been given. She was born in August on a Beautiful day, I still can remember the first time she looked up at me, after 9 months of helping me smile when I was sad. Just by her kicks, my hand to my stomach; She looked at me. I looked at her with the most happy tears I’ve ever cried in my life. That was it, that was a miracle. She was beyond perfect; beautiful dark hair, blue eyes, and 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes. I couldnt believe it, she was here all mine no one else’s, mine. I created such a beautiful person. 9 months, I watched and waited anxiously as she grew into this beautiful person I finally got to hold in my arms. Now at 2, as I sit here writing this, she’s running around, full of life, laughter, the best sound. The best sight I’ve ever seen and heard is her smile, and her voice.
To all of those who supported me, I thank you, and for those who doubted me, I thank you to.
P.S. I’ll Like You Forever, I’ll Love You For Always, Forever and Always My Baby You’ll Be*<3
Haven’t been on here in forever. But I am 35 weeks now, almost time for my baby to be due.
I am very excited.
It’s been just over 2 weeks since the procedure and I’m still so torn.
The man I was with left me the DAY OF! When he convinced me to give it all up. I don’t get the support from him, he has not been talkin to me since before that day! I thought I’d be okay with him by my side afterwards and he’s not and I feel regret because I didn’t make this decision determined by my heart. I was convinced by a selfish boy and it’s so hard to deal with this loss. I feel like I have a broken heart that can not be mended because I gave up on giving a life that I wasn’t ready to give up </3
Idk how to really work this site… I’m new at this… but I really need help. My friends just don’t understand where my head and unstability is at…
So I’m back at square one… Almost two years, after we first decided to start trying for a baby, I’m back to being jobless and without a flat with my fiancé.
We’re back to living at our parents and I feel so frustrated. I didn’t lose my job because of me but because a few thousand mega-rich idiots couldn’t do their job well enough and have caused an economic downturn which has meant that my company hasn’t the funds to keep paying my salary. I just feel like if I had sat on my butt and not had any form of drive to do things off of my own hard work, I would have had more in life than I do now. I feel like I should have had no ambition or sense of direction and had made no decisions with my life at all. It sucks that I have to now go and seek housing aid. I hate that I have to sign on to receive benefits. But this is where life has brought me. And you can say ”well if you had a degree blah blah blah…” Uh no…. My mother’s friend’s older sister is 40 and was so on top of her career and was made redundant too… Now they’re worried for her because her career was her life and now she has no career, she has gone missing with nothing really to live for.
I feel like I shouldn’t even wait anymore for that ‘perfect time’ to try to conceive again. I’m going to start in the new year and not stop, take breaks or anything… It will be my mission. I feel a little unsure though…should I wait? Am I being irrational? If I can’t ever really be sure about money. then why waste my time and eggs waiting for a perfect time?
I just feel like I’m in the land of nowhere right now. And I’m seeing so many of my friends having their babies and it makes my longing so strong.
I can’t even speak to anyone and I feel so alone when it comes to this… Help.
Everyone knew by the end of the week. Our parents knew by the end of the night. A decision was made before the end of the weekend. I thought it was the right one. I had dreams to follow, plans for my future, events to attend. I fought with him on it because my parents convinced me it was the right thing.
He hated it. They knew it. I didn’t even get time to research, not even a little bit. His parents told me to wait, to give it time. They were convinced. Abortion was the way to go.
She said we would go Friday. She woke me up Tuesday, took my phone. He didn’t know. It wasn’t fair.
I couldn’t stand the car ride. I hated her for doing this. You were my baby, not hers. I knew it was the wrong choice, but I couldn’t stop it. I was trapped. She took me in. I filled out the paperwork.
The loneliness, the room, it is all a blur.
The nausea never stopped. It hurt so much, physically, emotionally. I hated the feeling.
He came to see me, cried with me, comforted me. He hated it but he loved me, he loved me.
I sit here now. Tired, filled with sorrow. the pain still fills me now, physically & emotionally.
I now suffer from an iron deficiency, and drawn out irregular menstrual cycles. I am too tired all the time to have any fun with my friends. He has to take care of me now. I have to rest more often, eat more regularly, and take my pills.
Do you see what you did to me now? Do you see how I now have pain everyday? Do you see how your disregard for my feelings hurt? Do you see me?
I am sorry, peanut. Daddy and I loved you from the very beginning. You were a product of pure love. We loved the idea and feeling of you. Daddy and I are sorry.
You will come back to us when God says it is your time. You will always be our little peanut. Mommy promises.
Love you forever, peanut,
Mommy & Daddy
