UGH……….

Today, I found out I lost my baby, the saddest day of my life. I really can’t say much right now. I’m 2 in shock.

Just don’t wanna think about it

my story..abuse. please read.

I want to share my story with other women, in hopes of maybe helping someone out there that has or is being abused. or just needs advice on what to do, or make them open their eyes.

I’m 19 years old. I’m five months pregnant with a little girl…
May, I found out that I was pregnant. To be honest, I was not too excited about the thought of being a mommy, and I knew the guy I was with really didn’t love me. He was just looking for a free ride. He talked all the time about “how he had a reason to be a changed man” the baby… Well, we fought all the time. He hit me and abused me and no one in my house knew. He told me not to tell or he would kill me, and that I better not try to leave him.

June 5. I’m haunted by the memories that happened that day. I was four months pregnant then. Me and the dad to my baby were left alone that day. My three sisters and their boyfriends had left to the lake and my mom was at work, so it was just me and him. Well after everyone left, we got into a fight. He was saying all this crazy stuff, and how the baby was not his.. and then he hit me. That was it. I had, had enough. I told him to get his things and leave. He kept telling me no, and that he was going to kill himself. I left the bedroom and told him to get out and I meant it. I went and sat out in the kitchen, at the table. He came out of the bedroom and came right behind me and choked me till I passed out. I could feel him standing over me and abusing me, but my body wouldn’t get up. I couldn’t move or say anything, it was like when you have a dream and your moving around in your sleep. I’m not sure how long it took me to wake up, but when I did, I saw him running out the door. I could not see anything out of my right eye and at the time, I didn’t realize what had just happened. I didn’t even take time to look around. I just ran to the bathroom to see why I couldn’t see…. When I looked in the mirror, I saw blood. I was covered from head to toe with it. The whole right side of my face was beat bad! I couldn’t even move my left wrist, and my stomach was in so much pain!! I was crying and freaking out, and i couldn’t find the phone anywhere. When I found it, I called 911…

To my surprise, they where already on their way. I guess he ran out to the middle of the road and told people that he had been stabbed, and the clothes he was wearing were covered in my blood… I remember being weak and forcing myself to walk to the end of the driveway, and wait for the cops, because I didn’t want them to miss me… By the time the cops got there, he had came back to the house, and was crying to the cops about how he was sorry and didn’t know it was me that he stabbed, that he didn’t mean it. I was air flown back to a hospital that was four hours from where I live. When I got to the hospital, I went straight to surgery. They told my mom that they were not sure I was going to make it. I had lost a lot of blood. I spent over 30 hours total in surgery: my nose and eye socket where broke, I was stabbed four times in the stomach and an inch away from my heart, and my hand, he tried to cut it off. He had cut all the way to my bone! I came out of surgery and was told they cant check on my baby till later and i had to have three blood transfusions. Three days later, they did some test and scanned my baby. To everyone’s surprise, she was moving around just as much as she could. I remember crying as soon as I saw her moving… My baby and i are both soo lucky he missed my heart and her by an inch!!

July- a little over a month later and I’m still dealing with that day. They have since then found other problems with me… I black out a lot, the doctors say its from trauma. My liver has scars and they say its from the stabbing.  I have to go back into surgery. I have dreams every night and that day just replays in my head… He has not yet had a sentence. I don’t know if he’ll be in jail a few years or the rest of his life… Last I heard was that he cut the tattoo out of his arm that had my name on it, and is being watched over because he has tried killing himself. I have no sorrow for him, and hope that he spends the rest of his life behind bars… I’ve learned the hard way. I don’t regret getting pregnant or still having her, I just regret that I let things get that bad.

Ladies, I don’t know you all…or your stories, but if your relationships are abusive, you need to get out… Pregnant or not, no man has any right to ever hit you. That’s not love, and sorry just does not make up for it…

Please don’t put your innocent kids and unborn babies through that.

Can I Do This Alone ?

I think I’m about 5 weeks pregnant. The condom broke about a week after my last period…

I’m supposed to take the test in 2 days with my boyfriend. But now I’m feeling pretty sure that I am pregnant. My breasts have been swollen, I’ve been feeling sickly, and my period is late. My boyfriend and I have talked about what we’re going to do a lot in the past month if I am. I know that he wants me to have an abortion cause he “doesn’t want to see me go through that” and “doesn’t think he could give the baby up for adopting once I’ve had it” but we both know we are too young. I’m newly 16 and he’s about to be 17…

But I want this baby. Even if it means my life is 300 times harder. I would have never wanted to be put in this situation but now that I am… I know that I want to keep it. I’m just scared I’m gonna be on my own if I do keep him or her. I have a semi-hard home life so I don’t think I’ll have support from them, and my boyfriend obviously doesn’t want it. I just don’t know what to do. If I keep the baby, I’m scared I’m gonna loose the love of my life. We still talk about getting married someday and having a family, but he continuously reminds me that he’s not ready for this baby, and doesn’t want me to have this baby.

I really need help. How do I tell him how I feel?

Im suicidal in desperate need of help!

I’m only just turned 18 + I have a borderline personality disorder.

I’m on strong anti-depressants, and see a psychiatrist once a week… My home life is a wreck ( dad’s a violent alcoholic wife-beater) and I have 6 months left of year 12… I have always been the overachiever dux of the school and always receiving awards… I just found out I’m pregnant… I’m about 6-7 weeks, my situation with the baby’s dad is at least complicated… We were together for 3 years, but things have ended between us, and he wants me to abort it because he’s not ready… I’m not so sure… I’m afraid… Could I raise this baby completely on my own???? No help from family or him….. I’m gutted because I want to go to university and make something of myself… but there is this niggling feeling that I should suck it up and be a mum… Any advice is appreciated… I just need something, before I end up knecking myself……

Thanx

Im 18 and scared

I started dating this guy a few months ago. He was so sweet and nice and I thought that everything was going great between him and I.

He’s going into the Marines soon, he leaves September 8th, and so I didn’t really think this relationship was going to last that long, but I was wrong. We fell in love (so I thought) and we started having sex and before we had sex I told him that I have P.C.O.S. (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and I knew plenty of people that could not get pregnant who had it, so I thought that I couldn’t either. So we had unprotected sex, and I thought everything was fine. Well, he finally showed his true colors one day, and I saw how much of an anger problem he had, and sometimes, it really scared me, but I kept my feelings to myself, because I truly thought that he was still a great guy. Ya know everyone has their glitches kinda thing. So I took his anger all the time. He didn’t even have to be mad at me. He would still take his anger out on me even if he was mad at someone else. So he leaves to go visit his family out of state, and I didn’t hear from him for about two weeks, and one day he finally calls me and starts yelling at me, saying that it’s my fault that he hasn’t called me in two weeks, but I didn’t know the number to where he was staying.

Later that night, I started thinking when I was taking a shower about how I haven’t had my period in a while, and I automatically thought OMG I’m pregnant! So the next day, I went to the drug store to get a pregnancy test, and sure enough, I was pregnant. So I went to the doctor and did a urine test and got blood drawn to make sure I was. When the urine test came back positive, I was shocked still. When I got home, I called and told him. He seemed OK with it at first and then he had one of his anger spells. He came home a couple weeks later, and he seemed perfectly normal and fine with everything. Then we started talking about what we were going to do about me being pregnant, and things of that nature. He acted happy about it all. but these past few weeks went down hill.

He came over to my house and stayed for a few days, and got really mean with my little brother, and so my mom got really mad at him, and then my parents told me that he was never allowed back in our house. I told him all this and he got really upset and mad about it, so I thought I should give him some space so I went to a friend’s house to be with her while she had her baby. So he texted me one night and was being all “lovey-dovey” and then he asks me if I would ever leave him, and of course, I said no. Then he calls me and tells me that he cheated on me earlier that day! So he wanted me to come to his house so we could talk about things. Then he tells me that it was all a test to see if I would leave him, and that he didn’t really cheat on me. But I don’t know what to believe anymore.

So he told me when I got to his house that he wanted to take a break, to clear his head and try to fix his anger problem for me and the baby. So we keep talking, but not like we used to, so I start doubting if he really does care about me and love me. And so one night, he got really mad at me and said that all I ever do is try to start fight with him, and he was tired of it. But I was the one who took all of his anger outbursts and said nothing to him, and now that I’m pregnant, my hormones make be really “witchy”. But no, he can’t take anything from me! So he let me go to cool down, and he said he was going to call me back, but he kept on ignoring my calls and texts.

So i fall asleep and at about 3 am, he texts me and says that he’s tired of fighting all the time, and he knows that were having a kid but he found someone else but that he would take care of the baby. I immediately started crying. I couldn’t believe that I’m having a baby with him, and he left me for someone else! I have been crying for past two days about it, and I am soooo scared because I am going to be a single mother, and I didn’t want my baby to grow up without a father like I did. It sucked! I wanted to have a family and stay together, for my baby. and now everything I thought was going to be OK isn’t! It hurts so much, but I’m trying not to cry as bad as I did yesterday because I got so upset that I started throwing up, and that’s not good for the baby when I’m all stressed out. So I have been trying to distract myself from the hurt and pain of it all.

Everyone in my family has been telling me “it’s his loss” or ” look at it this way, at least this happened now then later after you have the baby” but the worst part, I guess, is that there is nothing that i can do about this. But I am definitely not going to take him back, because he is never going to change. He’s just going to keep hurting me and if I keep taking him back after he does things like this, he’ll keep thinking that its OK to treat people like that, and just keep doing it. And I don’t want that around my baby. I don’t want it to think that its OK to be treated like that and then when they get older, and someone treats them like that, they think its OK. Plus his anger is only going to get worse, and I don’t want that around my baby, even though it is his baby also.

If he can’t control his anger now, what’s going to happen when the baby comes and it’s crying all the time, and he doesn’t get sleep, or the baby throws up on him? I’m scared that he’s going to hit the baby, and I don’t even want to take a chance with that. and also he leaves for basic training for the marines on September 8th. He’s not even going to be around to his child grow up.

So I’m 18 and 8 weeks pregnant and I’m going to be a single mom!

please help..ned some advice!

Hi to everyone!

Well, I am just new here… I got some worries these days and I found someone I can’t talk to without hesitation to ask… I am not yet sure if I am pregnant or not but my last period was on June 20’s between 20-23… I had intercourse last July 9 and now I am worrying if I will get pregnant because I felt something different these days… My heartbeat was quite fast and it doesn’t post in the symptoms of pregnancy that I have read even just a days that you will be pregnant that you will like that… I can use a pregnancy test now?? And I am worrying about this thing… I am so afraid these days and also I can’t ask anyone about these things because I am not married yet, I hope you can help me by sharing your thoughts to me…

Thank you so much!