My Mom is a survivor, or so I’ve heard it said. But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed. I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn’t know I’m with her to help her understand. But like the sands on the beach that never wash away, I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day. She wears a smile for others… a smile of disguise! But through Heaven’s door, I see tears flowing from her eyes. My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive. But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive. As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven’s open door… I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore. I know that doesn’t help her or ease the burden she bears. So if you get a chance, go visit her and show her that you care. For no matter what she says, no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won’t ever heal.
I’m a third-year college student and am supposed to graduate next year… I have had a boyfriend for 5 months now… Last January, I discovered I was pregnant… Now, I am almost 10 weeks pregnant and I still don’t know what to do…
Me and my boyfriend wanted the baby… But everytime I see my mom, it really breaks my heart… She always says that she wanted me to finish my studies and expects me to be the breadwinner of the family, and they do not like my boyfriend.
Now, I am still undecided about whether to continue this little life or not… I don’t how many times I planned to have an abortion… But my conscience can not stand the thought of killing my own child…
I want the baby but I don’t want to disappoint my family… I still do not know what to do…
Can somebody please help me?
Hi, this is my first time being pregnant and this is not how I imagined my first pregnancy being like this. I have had a couple of friends that have been pregnant and had to face the decision of getting an abortion or not but I just never thought it would happen to me. I know this may sound really bad, but I always said that if I got pregnant this young, I would definitely have an abortion because I have always said I wanted children once my career and life were sorted out. But now it’s a reality and I am pregnant. I don’t know if I can do it… I feel so lost right now 🙁
I’m only 18, I’m not actually with the father of my baby and he wants me to have an abortion, I’m not sure if my family will support me, I live at home and I don’t work.
I’m sure the housing situation could be sorted out and I could probably just about cope with money, but even if I had everything, I will still be alone… My heart says to keep my baby… But my head says I’m not ready… Especially if I have to go at it alone.
I really don’t know what to do…
So I’m almost 18 and on the 20th of Feb, I had an abortion. I was 7 weeks and 4 days along.
I wanted to keep my baby, but I had no choice. My boyfriend said there was no other way… My parents didn’t know and they still don’t so I’m pretty much alone in everything. My boyfriend’s worried about sex.. because I told him if by being safe, I end up pregnant again, then we’re keeping it and that I don’t care what he thinks because mentally, I can’t do this again. No girl should have to go through this pain. This had completely changed me as a person. I will never be the same again after this experience. It was life-changing and traumatizing…
I’ll never forget the day I gave my baby wings. I was the first appointment of the day and I got my ultrasound. I wanted to see my baby one last time. She left it on the screen for a minute so I could see it and spend a moment with it one last time. Then it was off to the operating room. I was a nervous wreck. I went and changed into my gown, prayed for a few minutes, held my stomach, and said goodbye to my little baby. It was a quick procedure, less than 8 min, but having to live with this on my shoulders for the rest of my life just isn’t worth a human life. I feel like a horrible person. I feel like I’m a murderer, a murderer of an innocent child, my child… And I’ll never forgive myself…
So anyone considering an abortion, really consider the long-term effects of such a thing, and realize once it’s done, it’s done, and there’s no going back. So if there is any part of you saying keep it, then you should. A part of me was and God, now I wish I would have listened… One day, I’ll have another when the time is right, but never will I ever forget my first child. May my baby forgive me. I love my baby with all my heart and I just hope it knows that.
I will see you again one sweet day, my baby,
Well! After a number of times trying to write extra huge life-story blogs and them not working, I have a lot to say (I think). I need to vent.
Firstly, I went to see my boyfriend the weekend before the one just gone… So pretty much a week ago! I was worried. We had been arguing constantly. But we had a wonderful time, most of the time. I think we had 2 arguments overall, one I can’t remember why, and the other because me and his mum had stayed up until 5 am having a few beverages and having a laugh, and he wanted to sleep. Fair enough, but at least I was having fun, right? We had a great Valentine’s Day – went for a beautiful meal at a Thai restaurant and saw the movie Valentine’s Day. But, and yes, there is always a but when it comes to our relationship, or more our situation. I became a bit… Obsessive, you could say. He has a 9 week old baby sister and I wanted her around ALL the time! Luckily, his mum said that I had a ‘free pass’ to look after her whenever I wanted, which was wonderful. I was left on my own to look after her every now and then, feeding her and we played together. I’d make her smile while I ticked her tummy… It was almost maternal. I loved it. I hated it. Thinking about what could have been – playing with my own little one, seeing him or her smile for the first time. My boyfriend even said how it tore him apart to see me playing with his sister. I WANT that. I’m not writing this to get responses such as “You’re still young, you can have children when you’re older” or anything of that sort – I am not one of those young girls trying to conceive simply because I think a baby is ‘cute’. I think I have more of a reason to feel the way I do. I was manipulated into giving up my child, and now I want what’s known as a ‘replacement baby’. It’s true. I want to be a mum. But that’s because, in a way, I already am a mum. I’ve seen my own child on a screen. I’ve buried my own child. I’ve grieved the loss of my child. I think I have more reason than a lot of people to want a baby, and to long for the feeling of motherhood.
I had my second session with my counselor. He realized that I was not the one who was in charge of my situation, and I believe that. He said we are now going to look at the future and what I can do so that the death of my baby was not in vain. I believe this. This comforted me… For a while. But in the evening I was back to my normal ways, blaming my boyfriend, saying harsh things and practically begging him to start a family. I realize that what I say is wrong, eventually. But at the time, I was blinded by my loss. I have what’s known as Post-Abortion Traumatic Grief. All the symptoms are correct, and the timing. It’s great to know that I am now a label. Almost a mental case… (Sarcasm.) Yet in some ways, it gives me the incentive to move on. I’m just stuck at the moment in the same rut that I can’t get out of. It’s only just been 2 months so no one can expect me to be over it yet.
I started my new job on Saturday evening. It was good, but 15 minutes before the end, I found that my young colleague was pregnant. Cherry on the cake? Absolutely. As soon as I got in the car to go home, I went in tears to my mum. I can’t cope with pregnant women, talking about their scans knowing I would be having mine if it was up to me.
I have turned into a jealous, lonely person.
Last night, I made my boyfriend cry, hysterically. I was so furious with everything, and once again, I was blaming him, yet he took the blame. He said that it’s all his fault, and that made me feel guilty. That wasn’t what I asked for. I don’t understand why he is still with me. I’m heartless these days. He says it’s like I don’t care anymore, and that he knows I don’t feel the same as I used to. Yet he sticks by me…
I am numb. And full of regrets.
Hi. Well, I’m almost 16 and pregnant, but the doctor said I may not be able to carry my kids. Yes, it’s twins and they are precious to me but anyways, this is what I need help with right now…
Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a while. So for Valentine’s Day, he got me a promise ring and I got him one. Well, last night, he fell asleep and I was on his phone, using it, when all of the sudden, I saw these messages to his ex who is in love with him and he was telling her that he loved her and stuff. Well, when I asked him what he was thinking, he said he wasn’t thinking and I said well you must love her more than me and your kids!!!! So I need help. This isn’t the first time since we have been together that he has done this.
SO PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO! I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE AND WANT TO GIVE UP ON HIM…
