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Hey girl 🙂 I can only imagine what you’re going through, I also went through a break up this week, it was heart wrenching as well and of course I felt like it was all my fault and blah, blah, blah… but you know what? I found comfort in God, His words say that he has a better plan out there for me, that no matter what happens, I should just look forwards to the new thing he is doing in my life. I’m not going to tell you that this is going to be easy- it’s not, but you’ll come out of it as a stronger woman. I won’t tell you to forget this guy- because right now that’s impossible since you work with him, what I can tell you to do is to focus on the new thing taht God is doing in your life whih is this baby. It doesn’t mean that you’re in denial or avoiding the hurt, it just means that you’re not focusing on the things that hurt and you’re focusing on the things that will help you heal- like your baby… having a baby is a very special time for a woman, regardless of how that child is conceived… take some time off, right now, to just shut everything out- everyone’s expectations of you, all your hurt and stress and just breath!!! I was listening to a Joyce Meyer podcast and the relationship expert on her show was talking about how stress is caused by unmet expectations- our expectations of ourselves, people, life and How when we cast our expectations on a God who is incapable to failing us, the load is lifted off our shoulders. You need to be strong girl, it’s not fair, I know, but you need to be strong… that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to cry, it just mean after you’ve cried, you’re still looking forward to new things. caat all your expectations on Jesus… your financial expectations, your health expectations… his hands are big enough to carry it all for you.
Hey 🙂
I read your post in the forums and I can’t even begin to tell you how sad it made me, and I cannot even begint o imaginethe pain that you’re going through, because of the decision to terminate and because of the lack of support from your boyfriend and now with these rumors unjustly being spread by this guy. the first thing I think you should know is that- there is hope, beyond this, there are so many girls out there who have struggled with the same issue and have overcome the pain of it all. It does get better, look at Becky, she came through it all and you can.
The first step to healing is to know that God can forgive you, that he is longing to forgive you for this, sometimes the things that stops us from forgiving ourselves, is that we are the highest point, hating ourselves is like the highest point of hatred that we can experience, but when we realize that there is someone higher than us, the one who created the child that was lost and that God doesn’t hate us, that he accepts us even though we make wrong decisions can help us move on. because he is the highest point of forgiveness and all you have to do is reach out to hima nd pour out your heart. I know you feel abandoned by everyone, but God hasn’t abandoned you and he never will, no matter what choices you make… what doy ou have to lose by trying him, but asking him to forgive you and knowing that when you have- that he has forgiven and he will help you forgive yourself. He’s the only one to go to when there is no one else around, just speak to him, tell him about your pain- open up to him, you don’t need to say a fancy prayer or anything- just talk to him as you would talk to a close friend… because he cares, he counts your tears, he stores them in a bottle, he knows when you’re hurting… turn to him… he won’t turn you away. Nicki
Hey Girl
I know it hurts right now, that what happened is tearing into you deeply and you don’t know what to do with all the pain, but there’s hope. The really is. I know sometimes it can look like there can’t be hope because your baby is gone and can’t be brought back o you- but there’s hope because one day you can go to that baby and see your baby in heaven. I don’t know if you believe in God, I do and that’s what gives me hope every single day to live, you may think that maybe he’s not for you because of what you did- but he is as much for you as he is for anyone else. you need to turn to him, he’s no going to to turn you away- he doesn’t hate you, he thinks you’re worth it and the truth is you will struggle to forgive yourself unless you can first realize that he has forgiven you, that if you ask him, he’s not going to turn you away, he’s going to give you full and total forgiveness and I don’t know what is, but when God forgives you, it gives you hope to forgive yourself, because people often feel like God is the highest judge and when he has mercy on you- then you will be to start the process of forgiving yourself. You do deserve better and you can turn your life around- but to do that you need someone to help you shoulder the pain and sometimes it seems like no one can do that, that’s why you argue with your boyfriend because you expect the other to help shoulder the pain, but it’s not easy… I think it’s because your pain is often special just for you- sometimes even if you meet someone who’s had the same experience as you have had, you can sometimes still feel like they don’t understand because they can’t see into you. That’s why God’s so different, because unlike everyone else he can see into your heart- only he can see straight into it and only he is big enough to help you carry the pain that you’re shouldering… his love is complete, he’ll understand the things that your boyfriend doesn’t understand, he won’t get frustrated with your pain, he’s so patient and you know it’s even written in the bible that he is close to the broken hearted and that he has recorded your tears- you’re not insignificant to him, you’re not any less special now than you were before… when you hurt, it hurts him too. If you can accept his forgiveness and take the pain to him- just talk to him about it the way you’d talk to friend who’s there, it will take something off your shoulders and he can help you rebuild your life. The bible also says that he LONGS- he is desperate to show compassion to you… he has your baby in his arms and now he’s just waiting for you to join the promise- for you to receive his promise of beauty for ashes. There’s a part in the bible when he says “to those who mourn I will give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of one of despair… I will rebuild the ruins and restore the places long devastated…” it also says “Come let us talk together, though the things you’ve done are as red as scarlet, I shall wash them as white as snow.” God loves you- it may sound clichĂ©, but let me put it this way- You’re God’s weakness, when he hears you cry, it strikes his heart- it hurts him too.
You seem like you’ve tried everything else, what do you have to lose by trying God? I can promise you that you won’t regret it, because not only does he promise to forgive you and forget what you’ve done, he also promises to make a new plan for your life, he says “I know the plans that I have for you, plans to make you prosper and give you a future and a hope.” I know it may look impossible right now- but God can do the impossible. You have nothing to lose- except all the guilt and pain. We’re all here for you, we’ll help you through this.
Love Nicki.
Your story is heartbreaking, as I read your words I could feel your heart breaking. You got to know that you can do this. I can sense that you don’t want to have an abortion- don’t do it, you know you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I know you may feel like everyone is rejecting you right now and that you have no where to turn to, but no matter how alone you feel, you need to remember that there’s a little baby growing in you that needs your protection. No one else is going to look out for it, but you, don’t reject it the way everyone else seems to be rejecting you. Give your baby a chance- fight for it. The father may not be interested- that’s his lose, that doesn’t make you any less valuable, beautiful or intelligent and that doesn’t make your baby’s life any less worth living. I know you may think that you won’t be able to give your baby a happy life- but your child still deserves a life- I’m sure that as sad as anyone’s life can be- at the end of the day we’re all glad that we’re alive and I promise you that your child will always be thankful to be alive. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to figure everything out at once. Take a breather and decide to live the best you can one day at a time. If it means going back to your parent’s house- go there- even if you have to live with a little bit of tension before it all works out. Right now you need some support and family can give it to you- no matter how disappointed they seem to be in you. And as for God, He isn’t rejecting you like everyone else, he isn’t even rejecting you the way you’ve rejected him. There’s a verse in the bible that says “even if my mother and my father reject me, the Lord will take me in” Psalms 27:10 that promise isn’t just for people who are “perfect” and do good all the time- it’s for you as well. Any time you decide to go back to him, he’s waiting for you. He doesn’t hate you, he doesn’t look down on you, he isn’t freaking out on you like your real dad is- he’s just longing to be everything you expect a father to be. He is the ONLY person you can be sure of who will never reject you. I know it may seem like your life is in a rough place right now- but don’t have an abortion- that will turn your life into a whirlwind of pain. Give this child a chance and give yourself a chance to prove to everyone that you can make it- that you’re a strong and brave woman on the inside- having children does that to you- the same way if a lion walked into your son’s room you’d somehow find the strength to attack it with your bare hands; that’s the same strength you have to stir in yourself for this baby. One day at a time… there’s plenty of support here on standupgirl. Don’t be a stranger, stick around- we’ll be your family. Love Nicki.
I think you can do it! i did my A-levels like a year and a half ago and though they aren’t easy. I know that, I know, That I know that you will be able to do this! If you take some time off to make a plan with friends and family then it would be easier, but you can do this! Don’t feel intimidated by the way things look. have the baby! you can make it!
