moniq

Hi — I’m not sure where to begin except to tell you a bit about who I am.

I’m 39, raising 8 kids and expecting another in January. When I was your age, I’d had five children (lost 2 – miscarriage). We were renting a small 3 bedroom townhouse and my husband worked at home.

Our third child Simon, was born with a rare syndrome which meant he needed constant watching and a lot of time spent helping him to learn very basic things.

My husband and I decided that we would accept our children as they came and would do our best to raise them well. So "many" times I would think — how am I ever going to manage one more? But so often at the end of the nine months I was much better prepared and was able to go on. Nine months is a long time and our circumstances change so quickly.

Three years ago I’d just had my 8th. The kids at home were coming down with chicken pox and I was very tired. We were concerned for Simon because we knew he would have the worst time of it – but we had no idea really. When Simon came down with fever we thought – so it begins. Two days later, when our baby was only 2 weeks old, Simon died. He was eight then. I thought I would die too. I thought there was no way I could handle so much at once.

Giving life to a child is painful, raising them is difficult, losing one is more painful – more difficult. But there is a lot more to people than we think. We can handle a lot more if we just try.

From the way you write it sounds like you know what you want to do but you’re afraid. Fear should never keep us from doing what good we can. You are a strong person. Stronger and smarter than I am. Look at what you’re doing already.

Take courage. Tell your husband what you’re going through. Tell him what you want and why. He deserves the chance to support you. Above everything else you must stand up for what you know in your heart is best for yourself and your family.

Moniq

Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/09/15 18:15