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I am so sorry for all that you are going through….Thank you for sharing your story with us all, sometimes we think we are doing the best thing and it really turns out to be the worst thing for us, your honesty and heart are very needed on this site…it is hard to come back and say, I was wrong, but when we do, we begin to experience healing….I know you believe that your cancer is connected to the abortion, you may be right, but do know that God is not out to punish you, Your punishment was paid in full on the cross, His heart breaks for you and He has a deep love and forgiveness extended to all who are brave enough to say, I was wrong and I’m sorry….My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to fight this battle and I hope you will continue to feel forgiveness wash over you as you seek God for healing from this painful regret…Love Meg
Hey there, You know what? I used to say the same things….I could NOT believe how someone could abort their child….THEN I found this site, I read the stories, I fell in love with all of you women, those of you who hurt and grieve in secret….I saw a side that I had not seen before, a side of guilt, secret shame, fear of judgement and a side of being betrayed….My heart changed and it changed because of the brave women like yourself who were willing to open their wounded and broken hearts for those of us who cannot relate….I have a love for post abortive women that is not described with words….I wish I could reach through this screen and hug you and hold you and be a friend to you that would make you feel safe and accepted just as you are, broken and beautiful….Although I have not aborted, I did come close and I have so much baggage from my years of sleeping around and living a wretched life of lies, theft and disgusting choices….I know what it is like to feel deep shame, to have people see one thing when they look at me but to hide what is on the inside….I am here for you and I care deeply for you….Please keep being brave, please find someone that you can share with in person….I had a lady recently say something about her kids school, she was upset that so many low income kids went there etc….After being a single mom to two kids for 4 1/2 years and being on state assistance I took great offense to that and I opened my mouth, I was kind in how I said it, but I shared that MY kids used to be the kids she is so insulted by, it shut her up pretty quick and I bet she will be more careful with her words in the future….maybe some of these friends need to hear the broken heart of a post abortive mommy so they can learn some compassion….You have every right to grieve the loss of your baby, you have every right to share your pain without fear of rejection…truth is, some may do that, but not everyone will….your real friends will hold you and let you cry and be willing to step into your shoes and understand….Please…contact, http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the website and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL post abortive counseling….I actually went through a local course at my PHC, Just so I could know what it was like to share with women in your shoes….There were some wonderful women in my group, they were different women by the time the class was over, it was 8 weeks, meeting once a week….the bond and love in that group was powerful….I would love to see you get plugged into a similar group and find your freedom to speak and share and release this pain….I hope this gives you some hope and please email me when you just need a friend…Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com
Hey Snicoll11, I am so glad to see that you are sharing your painful story in efforts to reach out to others who share your pain….That is a brave and honorable thing to do….I am so sorry that you still deal with feelings of guilt…If you are interested, you can contact http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and find the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL post abortive counseling….You may find that there is a support group of women that you can bond with and you can all help each other on the path of healing….This is also a great place to contact if you or anyone you know becomes pregnant, they are there to help make sure that you do not struggle to raise a baby alone with no money or help….They offer things like diapers, clothing etc as well as connect people with local resources to help with food, housing, utility bills etc….Keep healing, keep sharing and stay strong….Love Meg
Hey there…To answer you, NO you are NOT a bad person for what you did….To sum it up, You were a scared person who did what she thought would help her situation, she did a bad thing, while not knowing the full magnitude of consequences, she did not know of the painful consequences…..Good people do bad things all the time….The thing we do is not what defines who we are…it is what we do AFTER that shows our character….Right now you are looking for help, that IS a good thing, Right now you are admitting that it WAS a bad idea, that IS a good thing, Right now you are open to advice and information….THAT IS WISE….So the character I see in who you are today, is that you are the kind of person who does not want to make the same mistake twice, the kind of person who knows that others can add to her knowledge, the kind of person who is NOT afraid to ask for help….You my dear are a humble young woman, a brave young woman and a wise young woman….I am SO sorry that you had to learn this all the hard way….The good news? There IS help, you are NOT alone….This website is a great first step, there are MANY other girls who share your pain here, I am sure some of them will even comment on this thread….Also, here is another great resource…http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code and it will give you the contact info for the Pregnancy Help Center nearest you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL post abortive counseling….One thing that I find many post abortive women have in common is this….they feel guilty about grieving their child….grief is something instilled in us to help us transition through the loss of someone we loved….when a woman aborts she often, even subconsciously denies herself the right to grieve…after all most of the time it is a choice she made so why does she deserve to grieve the one she chose to lose? I will tell you why you have every right to grieve….Because part of you LOVED this baby, part of you always will and that is ok….You didn’t know what would happen, you didn’t know you would feel this way…its too late now but there IS hope for healing and to grieve is an important part of that healing….I care for you and I hurt for you….I do not look at you as a bad person, simply a person who learned a very hard lesson and one who needs a lot of love and support….You have that here at Standupgirl and you will find that at your local Pregnancy Help Center as well….Much love to you and thank you for being brave enough to share with us! Love Meg
Hey Sweetie! Your parents LOVE you, they may not be 100% proud of this news, BUT….If you remember, they were not thrilled last time either….They are AMAZING grandparents and they could not imagine life any different than it is now….They will adjust in time, just like you will….You are so incredibly smart, you HAVE the drive it takes to accomplish your goals, even with another baby!…As you already know, they do not stay babies for ever…You have some great friends, a loving family and girl, you are motivated…I am glad you came back, its ok to doubt yourself or your situation at times, but its not the doubting that establishes who we are, its the decision…Do I face this full on, head to head, or do I run and give up on everything I have worked so hard for….Not sure if you remember, but I had two kids from two dads by the time I was 21…I made it, not only did I “survive” but I LIVE…I have a great life, so do my kids and I never even went to college like you are….You are HALF WAY DONE…You’ve got this…I know you and I have seen your heart unfold over these years and I don’t believe you could live with yourself if you chose to end your pregnancy…You have too much love for that…You care about life and health and medical ethics…You cannot do something that goes against what you desire to do as a career…to help sustain and better life….Here is a great website, http://www.loveschoice.com/ , It can be a good sounding board for you to see if adoption is a right option for you and this new little baby….Anyways…You know how to get a hold of me and you know that there is a TON of help and support out there…Love you tons, so do your parents….Just don’t judge the situation on their initial reaction…They may flip…just Stand your ground…it will work out…Just like things already have…this is just round two…Its going to be ok…I am here…we all are! <3 Love Meg
Hey there….Congrats on baby #2, I am SO glad that you have come back to share how much Standupgirl has impacted your parenting experience and how much the site has boosted your confidence in knowing that you CAN do this again! I tell you what, I had two kids from two dads by the time I was 21, I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and then I chose abstinence again until my wedding night as I was NOT going to risk pregnancy again until marriage….Anyways all that back ground to tell you that I made it 2 1/2 years until my wedding night and we got pregnant a year into our marriage, I was STILL freaked out…It doesn’t matter whether it is your 1st or 8th baby, whether you are a teen, grown up, single or married, being pregnant and having another little human inside your own body that YOU are responsible for is a very sobering reality check, in all stages and ages in life….Seems like you have a good head on your shoulders, Just know its ok to have that freaked out feeling, we all get it! 🙂 I first discovered this site around the same time as you…I wonder if we ever talked hahaha…Anyways, Glad to have you back and I hope to hear updates about your life and how your pregnancy progresses! Love Meg
It is possible to be pregnant and still have bleeding…I am not a doctor but with the pain you describe I would be sure to be seen as soon as possible…sometimes when a woman gets pregnant the baby will stay in her fallopian tube, this is called ectopic pregnancy…If the baby stays there and continues to grow it will rupture the fallopian tube and cause very dangerous and sometimes fatal injuries to the mom….Please contact, http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test…They can help you through the process of finding out if you are pregnant and if you are, they can point you in the right direction to make sure that all is well with you and baby…Please make sure you get checked out ASAP…then let us know how you are so we don’t worry about you! Love Meg
Hey there, I am not a doctor so I cannot tell you an accurate risk factor…different pills have different effects and each womans cycle varies and can be changed by the slightest hormone change….I personally do NOT trust pills and other contraceptives and they are NOT 100% effective to prevent pregnancy and the hormonal side effects CAN be dangerous to your health, What I suggest is avoiding ALL sexual contact at least until you know for sure if you are pregnant or not, that way if you are not pregnant you will not risk pregnancy while you wait to find out…make sense? Anyways, Do that and then visit http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, including a pregnancy test and an ultrasound if needed….I am here for you for the emotional part…For me, Unplanned pregnancy turned out to NOT be the end of my world, it turned out to be the beginning of a love I never knew existed…She is almost 11 years old now and has changed my life for the better…so no matter what the test says…Don’t freak out…Even difficult things have a way of turning out good! <3 Let me know what you find out! Love Meg
Hey there….I know this is going to sound cliche but its true…YOU NEED TO GET OUT NOW….I know only a small number of couples who once had physical abuse in their relationship, who no longer do…it took years of change and rebuilding of trust and they STILL have consequences to this day…It has taken a great deal of patience, trust, forgiveness and dedication to make it work….The few people I know in this situation are RARE as MOST couples who have physical abuse in their relationships fall into these categories, 1) Nothing changes, she stays until he dies or until he kills her 2) She leaves, only to end up with ANOTHER abuser as she has become the type of woman to attract an abuser 3) She runs, gets help and NEVER goes back and finds great sources of healing to help her become the kind of woman who will NEVER allow it to happen to her again….I think we have all seen those posters in women’s public bathrooms about domestic violence…the strips of paper with the phone number to call for help are always missing….So many women are being abused, they DO want help, just like you are seeking it here, they are afraid just like you are, they feel they have no where to go, no one to turn to…THIS IS A LIE…Here is what I want you to do…Visit http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact information for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you…They have lists of all kinds of local resources available…they should have the contact info for some type of Womens Safety and Resource Center…I know the one in my town actually has apartments, they will give you a grant, give you a FREE place to stay with security guards, help you get set up with food and medical assistance, help you find a job if you don’t have one (many abusers do NOT allow the abused to work, I know mine didn’t let me, its a way to keep control and dependency) Anyways, they CAN and WILL help you….You are much to precious to be treated this way, abusers train us to believe that we are worthless, that they are doing us a favor by staying with us as no one else would ever want us, they train us to believe that no one would hire us, love us, believe us, take care of us, they ingrain in our thoughts that we are pathetic and need them….Does this sound familiar to you? Just the other day a girl on facebook posted a picture of what happened to her neighbor at 4am that day….Her ex had come in the middle of the night and beaten her…Her forehead was split open to the point of exposing her skull, her eye was black and blue and bloodshot, her face was so swollen…Many of her friends were angry and posted that it was wrong to post pics like that…She said that if this girl refused to call the cops and report him that she was going to make it public…They have classes for abused women called INOKA, Its Not O K Anymore….don’t wait till he exposes your skull, don’t wait till he tells you “if I can’t have you, no one can” Don’t wait for him to change…GET OUT NOW and DO NOT GO BACK….Please feel free to message me, meg@standupgirl.com….The majority of my relationship abuse experience was emotional, however my stepdad used to beat me bloody, I used to watch him beat my mom and once I thought he killed her, it was very traumatizing and I ran to get help…My mom told me for years that I had had a bad dream, but she finally admitted to me when I was 18 that he HAD tried to snap her neck that night….I know what you are going through and I know how hard it is to put your foot down and leave all you know to better yourself, while believing that you are ruining your life by doing so, I have had the begging and the broken promises of, “I am so sorry, I will change” RUN…NOW…Please….I am here for you…Please email me and keep me up to date on how you are….DO not tell him you are leaving….Gather your important things, such as important paperwork/documents, anything special or sentimental, maybe one day when you know he will be gone a few hours have a police officer come over while you gather those things and stand guard so you can leave safely with your things….If it takes staying at a womens shelter for a time, its worth your life….it starts with verbal abuse, to wear you down, then it turns to aggression, then shoving, then slapping, then hitting, then punching and before you know it strangling, suffocating, shooting, stabbing etc….the end is death….RUN…Love Meg
Hey there….My best advice for you right now would to be, ONE, Avoid any sexual contact at least until you can determine if you are pregnant or not, that way if you are not, you will not continue to risk pregnancy while you wait to find out…make sense? and TWO, please visit, http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help , including a pregnancy test and an ultrasound if needed….I hope this helps a bit and I hope you will come back and let us know what you find out! Love Meg
PS…You are the FIRST and ONLY person I recall telling this story too (about the guy the night before mothers day)…I suppose I feel a lot better inside…just the first step in cleansing out my old wounds and healing….I would never ask you to do something that I am not willing to do myself <3 Meg
Ok, so here’s the deal, in order to even do a paternity test you need HIS dna…in order to know who the father is you WILL have to tell him in order to get his permission to have his dna tested…You need to look at this secret you are keeping as in infection deep in your soul….as long as you keep it in there it will get worse and it will spread…the baby could come out looking just like your partner and you can think that that will erase your unfaithfulness away and that you will now never have to tell him….its just not true, unless you have a dna test you will ALWAYS have a what if in the back of your mind…what if at 3 years old your baby has a rare blood issue and through medical tests you find out your partner is not a donor because he is not his father….looks alone, skin color alone is NOT going to tell you who the father is and until you are honest with him about cheating, it will haunt you and hang over your head….you will be more and more paranoid, what if the ex knows you are pregnant and he thinks the baby looks like him and he starts talking, etc….until you have 100% proof you will always have to look over your shoulder, trying to keep your tracks covered and living like that, and becoming the secretive sneaky person you will need to be to keep this secret, that alone could drive your partner away and cause him to not trust you….so long as you keep this from him, you will NOT have peace in your heart….the sad consequence may be that he leaves you….that is true…I am sorry if I made your situation sound easy, I KNOW it is not and my intent has not been to make it sound like a piece of cake…but this I DO know…THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS SET YOU FREE….until you tell him it will be like a chain tangled around you….you will not be free, it will eat you alive over time, just like an infection….this needs to be opened up like an infected wound, cleaned out, confessed, and then you need to heal…whether the healing included his forgiveness or not….until you take care of the secret, it will plague you….I have had many secrets in my time….there is only one thing that I felt guilty about that I never told my mom before she died….all the terrible things I did behind her back, all the deception and lies I told her, the people I associated with that she had told me not to, etc…the list goes on and on….My mom has been gone for 11 years now and the only thing that still bugs me is that I never confessed that one incident to her….I stayed over at a guys house the night before Mothers day, she HATED him, could NOT stand him…LOATHED HIM….I slept with him just because it was a rebellious thing I could do that she wouldn’t know about….I slept in longer than I should have and stole some red rhododendrons for her on my way home, that way if she was awake I could make it look like I had gotten up early to go get her a mothers day gift….She woke up to me placing them on her deck outside of her sliding glass door….she praised me and was so happy, she felt so special that I would get up early and surprise her like that….It made me feel sick inside that I allowed her to believe it, even until her death….even now that she is gone I am still so disgusted with myself for that, my mom was not an honest person, she was the one who taught me to be so sick and deceptive, but it still felt wrong to pull the wool over her eyes like that….it still does…2 nights before my mom died we had it out really good, I called her out on some lies she told me and she admitted them…she said, What and you are so perfect?….I had the opportunity to admit my ugly secret in that moment and I didn’t…something I regretted from the moment I found her dead body….she had taken her own life….I was 3 months pregnant (not by the one guy though, a different guy she hated)…I had no one either and I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years…I did a good job, learned a lot of hard lessons but I made it and I am here today to tell you that you can too….but you have to give yourself a clean slate at some point, forgive yourself….face consequences….pretty deep and totally different circumstances, but keeping a shameful secret is the same across the board…it will eat you up and rob you of the enjoyment in your relationship with your partner…the very thing you are doing to “protect” your relationship could very well be the thing that DOES destroy it….I care deeply for you, I KNOW this is not easy…but most of the time, the right thing to do is hard…Praying for you…Love Meg
I guess that would be a little more obvious to know who the father is based on ethnicity…So do you know what you will do if you find that your ex is the father? Is your partner planning on being in the room with you when you give birth? Once again, You need to be prepared and consider helping him be prepared…if he is there when the baby comes out and the baby is clearly/visually not his it could make for a dangerous situation if he fills with rage….If he has knowledge that there is a chance then at least he would not be completely taken off guard…know what I mean?…..Anyways…I am praying for you to have peace about the right decision for all of you and I am hoping for the best in this whole situation….In the moment things can be too overwhelming…I look back at many things in my life that “I could not live without”….I have lost so many of them and yet here I am…my life better than it has ever been….may I suggest that if you do not believe that your partner could forgive you or deserve your honesty that he may be someone you could live without if he chooses to walk away? I am not here to tell you what to do, but to simply challenge you to dig deep into your heart to think about this further and consider “taking a risk” for the sake of a clean conscious?….Please know I say this with no judgement or condemnation, Had I ended up pregnant at certain seasons of my life I would have been in your same shoes….I spent many years bouncing around from one guy to the next and also had multiple partners in short time periods….I know what you are going through emotionally….I just feel that slowly preparing him for the chance that the baby is not his will possibly deflect possible rage and or violence that could come about by finding out the moment of birth with no warning….I have seen so many news stories about similar things….just protect yourself, your baby and also the doctors and nurses, you have to think of the whole picture here….Also, protect him from instant let down and pain….slowly but truthfully prepare him…I believe it is the safest and most respectful option in this circumstance….Let your fears fade away…if he walks, he walks….you can’t change that, just like you can’t change what you did….you can learn from it, ask forgiveness and hope!….Much Love to you and know that I am here….Love Meg
Hey you, You are able to test as early as 2-3 weeks after suspected conception date with a fairly accurate result….The best time to test is first thing in the morning with your first urine of the day…that is when they are most accurate….If you need help obtaining a free test you can contact optionline.org and enter your postal code to locate a Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help! Hope this helps…Love Meg
Hey there….So there is no way to perfectly know your dates unless you tracked them yourself over a long period of time and even then there are so many variables that can affect our cycles and change our expected dates…..using a tool on the internet can come close but not close enough to 100% accurately tell you that you released your egg on the 3rd…Also, Sperm live anywhere from 5-7 days after released into your body, in truth, at the time you conceived it is possible that you had living sperm from both men inside of your body at the same time…Does your partner know that that there is a chance that he will not be the father? If he doesn’t, would he pose a physical risk of harm to you or the baby if you told him? Unless you believe that he would cause physical harm to you or baby, I think you should break the news to him before the baby is born, this way he can be prepared emotionally to find out if the baby is his or not….The truth is, you did cheat, there are many relationships out there where cheating has occurred and yet the partner was able to forgive the other and move on….I am also aware of situations where the partner cheated, was pregnant by the one cheated with and the partner still forgave and helped raise the child….Honestly the odds of not being forgiven are higher, and understandably so…but he DOES deserve to know the truth…However, not at the expense of risking physical harm to you or baby…if you think he will physically harm you then you will need to tell him in a way that protects you, over the phone, with a supportive person by your side, in a public place etc….I feel for you in this tough situation and I am here for you emotionally….I hope all goes well but you will have to wait until the baby is born and do a test to verify who the father is….Best wishes for you and I truly hope that the baby is your partners…even so, I still encourage you to tell the truth, it will set you free and help you to be more accountable to your partner or future partners to be faithful….Much Love…Meg
Hey there….having a 3 day fluctuation in your cycle is not too uncommon…Typically tender breasts is also a pregnancy symptom, not just associated with your period…It could be that your uncomfortable feeling in your tummy could be that you are going to start your period soon, it could also be something else….Anytime you engage in sexual activity you can risk pregnancy and or sexually transmitted diseases….I would suggest taking a pregnancy test, first thing in the morning is when they are most accurate, also you could be seen by a doctor to rule out any possible infections…I hope you figure it all out soon and that you will come back and let us all know that you are ok! Love Meg
Hey there! Here is the deal, You are the one who is pregnant, this is not a decision for your mom to make, and no court would force you to abort because your mom says so….You have options! This is what I would like to see you do! Visit this website, http://optionline.org/ , Enter your postal code into the site and they will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, They can inform you of how to obtain your legal rights, help you find housing if needed, help you get medical insurance, etc….They have a whole list of resources in your area and many times the women who work in the centers, were once in crisis or unplanned pregnancy and they know what you are going through! You have rights and you have options…Please contact them and then let us all know what you find out! Be strong, Moms freak out when their baby girls get pregnant, eventually they fall in love with their grand babies and get over it…it takes time, just Stand Up and Stand Strong and wait out the storm…it will pass….Love Meg
Well the first time I had a female exam I was really nervous and insecure….You will be asked to change into an exam gown and lay down on the exam table, my doctor always has a nurse in the room so there is accountability and if you feel uncomfortable about anything there is a witness, during a female exam they will insert and instrument into your vagina and open it slightly so that they can see what is going on inside, check your cervix and fluid levels etc…Many gynecologists are aware that it is a little uncomfortable for us patients so they are good at explaining what they are doing before they do it and making sure to be very gentle, You will probably have blood taken to check for pregnancy along with a urine test, they may screen you for std’s which is normal practice for anyone engaged with a sexual partner outside of marriage or if they have had more than one partner, or if their partner has had more than one partner….Just be real and honest, tell them you are nervous and that you would like to have things explained before the exam, ask tons of questions etc…just make sure that you inform them of the exact name and dosage of the pills you took and where you got them from….They may do an ultrasound to make sure you are not experiencing an pregnancy outside of your uterus….Just also remember that your gynecologist has heard EVERYTHING….There is nothing you can say that is embarrassing that someone else has not said before, If there was a fly on the wall at some of my appointments the poor thing would laugh itself to death!!….Its ok to have questions, even about how your body and cycle work, You would not believe how many girls have asked me questions about their bodies and what little they knew about how pregnancy happens, why they have a period etc…Its ok! Just be seen to make sure you are ok….After putting all those hormones into your body and your abnormal period you need to be seen! I am so glad that you two are refraining from sex for now, I hope that is a decision that you find yourself holding to until marriage, TRUST ME, its worth it! <3 Love Meg
Hey Mia, I am so glad you came to the site!! Here is the deal, You have taken a prescription medication, if I understand correctly, an emergency contraceptive….No one here on the website is a doctor, nor are any of us able to give medical advise or diagnosis….This is what I recommend for you….First, do not engage in ANY sexual activity until you know for sure if you are pregnant or not, this way, if you are not pregnant, you do not continue to risk pregnancy while you wait to find out, make sense? Second, Please make an appointment with your regular gynecologist and have a well female exam, check for pregnancy with a blood test and explain to the doctor what pills you took and the details of the symptoms as well as the side effects….The doctor will be able to tell you why you are experiencing the things you are…..I have heard many similar things from girls who take ECP’s, you are giving your body a major overdose of hormones and it is bound to throw your cycle off track as well as cause a variety of uncomfortable symptoms….I would like to recommend that you and your boyfriend take things slower…I learned the hard way, I had two kids from two dads by the time I was 21, At that point I made the choice to not have sex again until my wedding night and made it 2 1/2 years to my goal, I met and married my amazing husband and he waited for me till our wedding night! I say plan your wedding before you have sex and place yourself at risk for pregnancy! I now know both ways and I tell you what, the pregnancy I experienced in my marriage (although the worst one physically, many problems) came with the most peace and security…..I hope this is just a “scare” for you and your boyfriend and that you will consider holding off on the physical stuff for a while longer! I hope you come back and let us all know what you find out from your doctor! Love Meg
Hey there….I am so sorry for your loss and regret! I am not sure quite what to say as I don’t know you personally but I DO know that there is a lot of FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help out there for you! I have known many women who have aborted and it is very common to feel depressed and have nightmares….A good resource for some counseling would be to contact Optionline.org, Enter your postal code into their website and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get some post abortive help and counseling….They have many options such as one on one help and also group sessions with other women, that way you will not feel so alone in your struggle for healing….I hope you can get connected with your local center and find some help with your nightmares and depression….A loss is a loss and even though you made the choice to abort, you ARE allowed to grieve the loss of your child…There is healing in that alone and in giving place to that pain….Much love to you and I hope you will come back and let us all know of any progress you make and if you were able to get help from your local center! Meg <3
Hey there, My name is Meg….I suggest contacting optionline.org , Go to their site, Enter your postal code and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test, many of them have ultrasounds available too….I am not a doctor so I can’t really say one way or another what is going on with you…..The only way you will find out for sure what is going on with your body is to take a test and or be seen by a doctor….Optionline.org is a good first place to start….In the meantime, Please avoid all sexual contact so that if you are not pregnant, you do NOT risk pregnancy while you wait to find out…make sense? If you have not talked with your parents yet, then I take it you feel they may not be proud of your decision to engage in sexual activity….It might be a good time to talk with them, break the ice and let them know about the decisions you have made, that way, if you are pregnant, or end up pregnant, they will be a little more prepared to hear news like that as they will know you have placed yourself at risk, same thing with your boyfriend….I would let him know you are worried, if he reacts really bad and you turn out not to be pregnant, you will at least see what he is made of before its too late….Anyways, I am here for you and I hope you will write back and let me know what you find out! Love Meg
Hey there….I know how frustrating that can be…My oldest daughter said dad first as well…he was around but very abusive to me and neglectful to her….He was barely around and when he was he never carried his responsibility as a dad…it hurt….Then with my son (different father) I figured he would say mom first, I was all he had…NOPE, He said BOOK…wow…stinker! With my youngest daughter (yet one more father, yet the man who married me before I ever went to bed with him <3 ) she said dad first as well....the vast majority of babies say dad first, whether dad is around, whether they have seen him or spent time with him or not....It is a word that is spoken directly or indirectly, overheard when mommy talks to her friends etc....Kids are very smart and really receptive...if you are struggling and having a hard time, just because she is a baby, does not mean she will not pick up on your conversation...if you are talking about him or saying, her dad, to people, she may not understand the details but she will know...I have learned this the hard way many times....Just don't feel bad or awkward, just know it is normal to say dad first, Keep your chin up and keep being the good mommy you are to your sweet little girl....I spent 4 1/2 years as a single mom, obviously a bumpy road at first....I made it, learned SO much, am now stronger than I would have ever imagined, my kids love me and they NEVER quit saying, Mom? mom? MOM?...hahaha... Love to you and enjoy this time with her, it goes fast, this is the most impressionable time in her life...read to her, snuggle her, tell her she is beautiful and special, she will remember the love you pour into her in this time stronger than the words you tell her later <3 Meg
Hey there….To put your mind at ease, I would say its safe to say that you are not pregnant from the sexual encounter back in September, If you have had two negative tests and a period three times and no other sexual encounters since then I would highly doubt you are pregnant….I am not a doctor so that is not a diagnosis by any means….However…If you have had any other sexual encounters, protected or not since then, it would be good for you to refrain from sexual contact and test again if your period is abnormal or late….That way you can for sure rule out pregnancy while not continuing to risk it…make sense? Anyways, as far as being too late for an abortion…Why would you consider having an abortion when your chances of being pregnant are practically non existent? There are women who have undergone surgical abortions when they have not even had confirmed pregnancies, only to find out they were not even pregnant but that the abortion clinic just did it for the money anyways, same with women who have taken pills to cause an abortion to find out that they were never pregnant….Abortion is a very serious decision and I think the best time to make a decision about how you feel about abortion is before you are faced with having it as an option….Here is what you can do, Visit optionline.org , Enter your postal code into the website and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Help Center near you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help, including a pregnancy test and an ultrasound if needed….They can also give you all of the info on abortion from a medical standpoint….What your state laws are, the procedures, the cost etc….Stress can certainly keep you wondering about pregnancy as it can mess up your period, cause delays and create symptoms in your body that mimic pregnancy….Please visit your local Pregnancy Center and they can help you figure out what the best first step to take is….Then please…Come back and let me know what you find out! I hope your mind is a little more at ease knowing how rare it is to have a period three times in three months with negative pregnancy tests and find out you are pregnant…Does not happen often! <3 Love Meg
Yeah, At this point I would agree that you most likely are not pregnant…Having this type of a scare can really make you think though….Have you considered holding off from having a sexual relationship for now? It takes a little getting used to if you have been sexually active for quite some time, but I promise….It is a great choice to make…No more pregnancy scares, no risk for STD’s and it sure does help in relationship problems as when we are sexually involved, we are often more likely to stay in a relationship that is going down hill, and try to salvage it simply because separating from someone you have had sex with hurts more than breaking up with someone you haven’t had sex with…make sense? Anyways….I hope now that you have made it through your scare that you will consider it…I am glad you felt helped by my advice! Love Meg!
Hey lindielyn, My name is Meg….I am so glad you came to the site to look for answers….First of all, I am NOT a doctor so I cannot give you any medically accurate counsel, as well as I have no idea what kind of pill you have repeatedly taken, what it is supposed to do, or why you are supposed to take it so much….I would be sure to contact the doctor that prescribed it to you…If no one has prescribed this pill to you, then PLEASE see a doctor and be sure that it is something safe for you to take in such large dosages…..If you had a negative test on the last day of October, as well as had a period and then once again had a negative test, I would assume that you are not pregnant….Whatever this pill is could be causing the irregular cycle you seem to be experiencing, it is important to be seen by a doctor to answer this type of question…..I guess the best advice I can give you right now besides seeking medical help, face to face with your doctor, would be to refrain from having any sexual contact at least until your body is back to normal and you have a better medical understanding of the pills you have been taking, I assume to prevent pregnancy?…..Anyways, no sex equals NO pregnancy scares….It took me two kids from two dads before I was willing to give abstinence a try….I never had a pregnancy scare in the 2 1/2 years I remained abstinent until my wedding night….Stress is not good for your body either so relieving the stress of pregnancy scares will do wonders for you!! I hope this helps a bit and I hope you will let me know what you find out….Please see your doctor and make sure that what you are taking is safe for your body! Love Meg
