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In my view you’re not crazy. I think you are at a crossroads in your life with many options and a LOT of fears. I read that you are saving up money for the baby and that is a good plan. Yet you seem to have many fears about every other aspect of your life. You are worried about how this will change your relationship with your boyriend, you are very worried about how this will affect your mom and you even worry about the relationships with your boyfriend’s parents. Is it really the best time to bring a baby into your life? Would you rather bring a baby into your life when you are secure in all your relationships? You have so many healthy years to bring a baby into your life- do you really want to do it under such stressful circumstances you have today? Remember that babies need security from a WHOLE family, not just from the mommy.
Think about the BEST situation for the baby, not just for you and your boyfriend. A baby does the best with a strong family unit that is secure and healthy.
I urge you to think seriously about other options for your life right now. Try some college and see if you like it! You might be very surprised what God has for you if you try some new things and allow some time to think about this life-long choice. Children are forever.
In my opinion (as a mommy) every baby deserves a mommy and a daddy who love each other and are in a committed marriage. Where the parents are secure emotionally and have the full support of all of their family.
That is worth waiting for! YOU are worth all of that. Don’t be afraid to wait, try some new things in life while you are young and your wisdom (life experience) will bring SO much more to your motherhood. It sure did for mine and I am happy I waitied until I married my husband to have our baby. Every day I am happy I waitied.
I wish you all the very best life has to offer- don’t be afraid to go out and find some of it before motherhood!
Sister- you can’t MAKE yourself happy about a baby…first you need to grieve your losses in life and then after that you will be free to feel happy and excited about the new baby. With a pregnancy (at any age or stage of life) it means a HUGE number of changes for you as a woman. The baby changes what you eat, how you sleep, when you can go out and what you do everyday. It changes how well you feel (like morning sickness and the fatugue with the 1st trimester) and it changes how you look at yourself. In a VERY short time you went from a carefree 17 yr old with an unlimited future, to a MOM (yes, you are already a mom, it’s just that the baby isn’t out yet)! You still have a future full of potential, but it has a specific course since every decision you make will first consider your children. Your life will be about the baby first, then yourself and the baby’s father. It is a BIG change and it is only natural to feel sad, scared, confused, angry and a little depressed about it all. Allow yourself to feel all those things for a while and don’t force yourself to "stuff it down" or ignore those feelings. Get them out by talking about them with mature adults in your life and you will see that in time you will accept the changes this baby brings and you will be excited!
One more thing sister-focus everything on your grades and taking care of your body. Those two things are the most important to both you and the baby’s future. You will have LOTS of time to spend with friends and your boyfriend after you graduate. Your high school diploma is your ticket to college- which is your ticket to giving your baby and yourself a great life. Even if your boyfriend makes good money and is involved with the two of you- you must not ignore your own education and future. Promise yourself you will do your best in school and be a strong, educated and compassionate mother. I know you can do it!
