I went and bought a pregnancy test and it came back negative and I was so excited. Then after a few days, I began to get morning sickness and I was like there is no way I can be pregnant but I was. Every kind of air freshener made me sick. I tried to hide the pregnancy from my mom because I knew that she would freak out…

Dear Becky |

I am sixteen years old and I had an abortion. It was one of the worst experiences of my life……Here’s my story.

I was raised in church all my life…..and of course they told us to “wait until marriage before we have sex” and I had always told myself that I would but I didn’t and it was the BIGGEST mistake I had ever made.

I had been “DATING” this boy since December of last year and in February of this year, we decided to have sex and we did…. We didn’t use protection because he said he would pull out before he released his sperm…….but he didn’t….and he said he did and I believed him.

A few days later, I received my menstrual cycle and I was so happy because I did get my period… Little did I know it can up to five days to become pregnant. My body started to change and I sleep more frequent than I usually do…. My appetite began to change, I never did eat a lot, I didn’t eat anything because I could not hold any food down. I went and bought a pregnancy test and it came back negative and I was so excited. Then after a few days, I began to get morning sickness and I was like there is no way I can be pregnant but I was. Every kind of air freshener made me sick. I tried to hide the pregnancy from my mom because I knew that she would freak out and kill me. Everytime I had to throw up, I went in the bathroom and turned the water on. Everyday I went to school, I threw up all day. I just thought maybe if I got an abortion, nobody would have to find out and I would not have to deal with all the pressure from my ”RELIGIOUS” family…. So I turned to my friend’s sister who I thought I could trust. She said she would take me to get the abortion and she would help me pay for it.

I took another pregnancy test and it confirmed my worst nightmare. I was indeed pregnant. Little did I know she betrayed me…. She called my mom and told her. My mom called and ask me if I was pregnant and I said NO and she simply said Don’t lie to me because I will find out tomorrow if you don’t tell me the truth… So I said yes. She then hung up on me. After that, everybody started calling me, questioning me. I wanted to run away so bad I had even thought about killing myself.

About a week later, we went to the abortion clinic and I received counseling but it didn’t help me at all…… They asked are you sure you want to do this…. I said yes because that’s what my mom wanted. Deep down inside, I wanted to say no. (I JUST WASN’T SURE ABOUT WHAT I WANTED)

Then about a week later, we came back and I was nervous. I hated the people who encouraged me to do it. They called my name and my heart dropped because there were so many young women and girls getting abortions and it hurt my heart to see such a thing. (I had always said that abortion was bad and I would never get one because if I was to get pregnant, I would keep my baby but I didn’t…. I killed an innocent child who didn’t even do anything) I went back and removed my clothes and took two pills one to calm my nerves and the other to relax the pain away so i couldn’t feel what they were doing……THATS A HUGE LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt everything that doctor did….. When I heard the vacuum, I knew that it was real and they were killing my child and I could have stopped them but I didn’t. It was very very very painful. When he finished, I looked up and I saw so much blood and tissue and God knows what else…. Oh I didn’t mention that I was 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

Now everybody lives their normal life and I sit back and be depressed and I even cry myself to sleep… Nobody knows my pain and agony that I deal with in a daily basis. So keep ALL of my emotions inside and pretend to be happy when I am around people. I tried to forget about it but let me tell you it WILL NEVER GO AWAY!!!!!!!

Dimples

Dearest “Dimples” – Hi, my name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mails.

When I read your e-mail, my heart just broke for you. You see – I’ve been down the road of abortion too. I know that pain and that heartache. That loss that can’t be filled. I will share a link to my story so you can read it if you want.

I’m sorry about your heartache and your pain. Would you like to share more? I’m just a keystroke away.

But I can share with you where I finally did find healing. I don’t share this with everyone. Just those that feel like you and I do. It’s like a heartache you can’t explain with words. Only someone that has been down that road understands. I understand.

I tried so many ways to get the pain to go away. I tried drugs, alcohol and even relationships! Nothing worked.  You know what truly worked? I found a true and living relationship with Jesus Christ. Not religion – but a relationship. With that relationship came forgiveness and freedom from all of my guilt. Do you know who He is and what He did?

Do you believe that Jesus was born of a virgin and lived his 33 years hear on earth a sinless life? That He died on a cross and rose again on the third day so you and I could have forgiveness and eternal life with Him in heaven?  That He is the invisible God who made Himself visible becoming man?

It’s really simple then. If you believe all of that … then you can just ask Him to come into your heart and He will. The rest is up to Him.

I still remember the prayer that I said. Would you like me to share it with you? You can say it if you want.

Dear Jesus, I thank you for dying on the cross for my sins, and rising again from the dead. Please be my Lord, be my Savior and be my Friend. Please forgive me of all of my sins. I thank you that I am now a child of God and that I am now going to heaven. It is in Jesus’ name I pray this. Amen.

If you were able to say that prayer and mean it … then congratulations. You are now a child of God and you are completely forgiven.

If you weren’t able to say it quite yet – that’s OK. Just maybe save this e-mail so you can read it at a later time if you want.

If you were able to or even if you weren’t able to say that prayer, I’m right here. I’m only a keystroke away.

I have access to another tool of healing for you if you like. It’s a booklet that I used to find healing too. This book is called “Forgiven and Set Free” and it is an amazing tool of healing

Please let me know if I can do anything more for you.  Please e-mail me at any time. I hope to hear from you soon.

Luv Lisa