My body started to change and i sleep more frequent than I usually do….my appitite began to change, i never did eat alot i didnt eat anything because i could not hold any food down. I went and bought a pregnancy test and it came back negetive and I was so excited. Then after a few days i began to get morning sickness and I was like there is no way i can be pregnant but i was.
Dear Becky,
My name is KaNiesha and I am sixteen years old and I had an abortion. It was one of the worst expeirences of my life……Heres my story.
I was raised in church all my life…..and of course they told us to wait until marriage before we have sex and i had always told myself that I would but i didnt and it was the BIGGEST mistake i had ever made. I had been “DATING” this boy since December 2006 and in February of 2007 we decided to have sex and we did….we didnt use protection because he said he would pull out before he released his sperm…….but he didnt….and he said he did and i believed him.
A few days later i received my menstral cycle and i was so happy because I did get my period…little did i know it can up to five days to become pregnant. My body started to change and i sleep more frequent than I usually do….my appitite began to change, i never did eat alot i didnt eat anything because i could not hold any food down.
I went and bought a pregnancy test and it came back negetive and I was so excited. Then after a few days i began to get morning sickness and I was like there is no way i can be pregnant but i was. Every kind of air freshner made me sick.
I tried to hide the pregnancy from my mom because i knew that she would freak out and kill me. Everytime i had to throw up i went in the bathroom and turned the water on. Everyday i went to school i threw up all day.
I just thought maybe if i got an abortion nobody would have to find out and i would not have to deal with all the pressure from my ”RELIGIOUS” family….so i turned to my friends sister who i thought I could trust. She said she would take me to get the abortion and she would help me pay for it.
I took another pregnancy test and it confirmed my worst nightmare I was indeed pregnant. Little did i know she betrayed me….she called my mom and told her. My mom called and ask me if i was pregnant and i said NO and she simply said KaNiesha dont lie to me because i will find out tomarrow if you dont tell me the truth…so i said yes. She then hung up on me. After that everybody started calling me questioning me. I wanted to run away so bad i had even thought about killing myself.
About a week later we went to the abortion clinic and i recieved counseling but it didnt help me at all……they asked are you sure you want to do this….i said yes because thats what my mom wanted, deep down inside I wanted to say no. (I JUST WASNT SURE ABOUT WHAT I WANTED)
Then about a week later we came back and i was nervous i hated the people who encourged me to do it. They called my name and my heart dropped because there were so many young women and girls getting abortions and it hurt my heart to see such a thing. (I had always said that abortion was bad and i woould never get one because if i was to get pregnant i would keep my baby but i didnt….i killed an innocent child who didnt even do anything) I went back and removed my clothes and took two pills one to calm my nerves and the other to relax the pain away so i couldnt feel what they were doing……THATS A HUGE LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I felt everything that doctor did…..when I heard the vaccum i knew that it was real and they were killing my child and I could have stopped them but i didnt. It was very very very painful, when he finished i looked up and i saw so much blood and tissue and god knows what else….oh i didnt mention that i was 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant Now everybody lives there normal life and i sit back and be depressed and I even cry myself to sleep…nobody knows my pain and agony that I deal with in a daily basis. So keep ALL of my emotions inside and pretend to be happy when i am around people. I tried to forget about it but let me tell you it WILL NEVER GO AWAY!!!!!!!
Dimples
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Dearest “Dimples” – hi, my name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mails.
When I read your e-mail my heart just broke for you. You see – I’ve been down the road of abortion too. I know that pain and that heartache. That loss that can’t be filled. I will share a link to my story so you can read it if you want.
I’m sorry about your heartache and your pain. Would you like to share more? I’m just a keystroke away.
But I can share with you where I finally did find healing. I don’t share this with everyone. Just those that feel like you and I do. It’s like a heartache you can’t explain with words. Only someone that has been down that road understands. I understand.
I tried so many ways to get the pain to go away. I tried drugs, alcohol and even relationships! Nothing worked. You know what truly worked? Write and we’ll discuss it.
Please let me know if I can do anything more for you. Please e-mail me at any time. I hope to hear from you soon.
Luv Lisa | 
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Hey girl..
My heart breaks for you. I have been there. My mom encouraged it, I did it. I was fully asleep when they did it, I can't imagine what you went through, They screwed up and didn't get it all out so I had to go back in the middle of the night, through the back door like some criminal. I know you are going through alot, and like Lisa, I found healing too. There are ways. It takes time and lots of love but its possible. Hold tight to what you were taught growing up, the love of Christ- there is healing. You are loved. If you need to talk I'm here.
Julie
Hey girl…
I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through. It's a really tough thing. I have a friend who has had two abortions. The first time, her dad pressured her into it, the second time was her decision. She knew she was making a mistake, but did it anyway, both times, and truly regrets it to this day. But life goes on, and I'm sure you will one day be blessed with a child of your own who came into being on YOUR terms and no one else's. Just stay strong and know that you've always got people to talk to on this website if you EVER need ANYONE.
OMG i would tell my mom that it was not her decision. i really dont want to judge u but i think that it is ur decision and i think that u should have been able to keep ur baby whether ur mom liked it or not. When i read ur story i was about to cry. Im here if u need anyone to talk to.
Hey Kaniesha, my name is Melissa and I know exactly how you feel. I had the same kind of abortion and it really traumatized me. I can't sleep and I pretend to be happy. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I havn't gotten any counseling and some days are really bad for me. I would've been due this month.
Love Mel
Hey
I went thru the same thing 2days ago. They even injected me for the pain but guess wot? I felt every bit of it. It took 3mins but it felt like 3hours! I could feel them pinching inside my skin and cutting whatever they were cutting. Afterwards I felt as if I was gonna collapse. I'll never get over it but my fiance says he will be with me every step of the way.
That was the worst moment of my entire life! If you need to talk, im here.
xx
my dear my heart breaks for you, i have never experience such a pain and i wouldn't wonder how you feel now, i will never encourage something like this, but only god nows why they did what they did, keep strong even if i know is hard.we love u girl.
i know how you feel. my mom pressured me into getting an abortion as well. that wasn't what I wanted whatsoever. I am still dealing with it too, i was supposed to give birth a few weeks ago and its killing me. i wish i could sit here and tell you it will get better, but i would be lying. it probably eventually gets better, but i haven't felt that yet. Im still dealing with it like it was last week.
Hi Kaniesha,
Ur story made me cry ,however life has to go on. Just try by all means to forget about it ok i know and understand what u are going through but it's already water under the bridge.
awww…sweetie I know exactly what you are coming from.. When the lady asked why i wanted an abortion. i know of all sorts of lies when all along I wanted to be honest and say “my mom wants me to” Abortion is the most hurtful thing. Im against it.. bu ti happend to me an dI hate Everyone for it! i understand your pain, the crying and alll…God bless U