I had my son, he’s four months old now. (: Love him to death<3

And now the aaahhhmazing news. I’m pregnant. AGAIN. At least my period is a week late. IT was NOT planned this time… Here out my story before you judge. I’m getting a home test soon. Tomorrow, I hope, and taking it Thursday morning.

Okay, I wanted the Implanon birth control, right? You can get it at your six-week check-up. My appointments to get it got rescheduled a MINIUM of TEN times. I am not kidding. So, I missed getting my birth control and I had been getting periods… And having sex. So yes, it is my fault for not using protection, but it is equally my doctor’s fault for having my ‘6-week checkup’ be a 12-week check-up & rescheduling me every time. Hey, condoms break & withdrawal fails. Don’t judge me.

I don’t know what I want to do. We aren’t ‘struggling’ with this baby. He’s content, never cries, and sleeps almost all night. Having another baby when my son would be one year old is impossible for me. My boyfriend (& children’s father) works 12 hours days, 12 hours nights, & 40 hours a week (shift work, different days of course.) So I have handled our son by myself with no problems at all, but taking care of a newborn and a one-year-old?! Please kill me.

I never considered abortion with my first. He was planned, but so far the father would ‘kick me in the stomach’. So he doesn’t want it… I honestly don’t think I could go through with adoption at all. It would kill me. Yes, I understand abortion kills a fetus, but I just could not give the child a proper life. Money is tight enough as it is & another baby would just break us.

I just want advice from someone who has had one baby and terminated the next pregnancy or has had two babies with the same due date exactly a year apart.

Maybe we’ll all die in December 2012 and I won’t have to worry about it. Ah.