My son is a month old tomorrow. My waters broke exactly a month ago today.  I should still be pregnant. My bump should be getting much bigger, and my baby boy should be inside my belly, but he isn’t. Never imagined him actually coming that early. 16 weeks before my due date is a lot. I have never been so scared in my life. Still being my mum’s baby child makes it crazy that I’m worrying about my child.

A lot has changed though:

• For a start, I’ve grown up a lot! More than I thought I would.
• Me and my fiancé are so much more in love. We get on so much. Even though I live with his family, I get on with them more than I thought. He proposed so we are now engaged. I did not at all expect that. We have our occasional arguments but nothing too bad.
• I go to school 1 or 2 days a week now, preparing for my upcoming exams. Trying to make sure I get decent grades…to make everyone proud.
• I met my dad. After 15 years, I met the man who helped make me. It was so weird, crazy scary. I didn’t call him dad, and I won’t call him dad to his face, not yet anyway. But he is my dad and when I describe him to people, I call him my dad. He came up for an hour or so to meet my boy. He was so shocked. Also, my sister from my dad’s side wants to meet me, she is 20 and asked me if she could come to the hospital to meet me and my son. Of course, I said yes. I can’t wait to meet all my new family.
• I’m slowly losing my baby weight, actually miss my bump.

I’m not just a teenager anymore, I’m a mummy. I have responsibilities. I have to go up to the hospital to visit and parent my baby boy. Even if it’s just a few hours or it’s the whole day and night, I am always up there. My life has gone downhill, raising a premature baby. It is incredibly hard although the nurses do most of it.

My boy was born weighing 2 pounds 1/2 an ounce. Quite big for how early he was. he gains weight each day, it’s unbelievable. Now he weighs 2 pounds 7 ounces.  He’s not quite taking well to bottles, so he’s still on a feeding tube. But as soon as that tube goes and he starts bottles, he’ll gain even more weight. He’ll be eating much more. As soon as he comes off oxygen, we should start trying him on breast/bottle.

For my boy to come home, he should weigh a sustainable weight, at least 4 pounds. Be in an open crib rather than an incubator. At least 6-8 wet nappies each day. And passing stools regularly. He should be breathing a lot on his own, but on oxygen is allowed.  We have been estimated another 4-6 weeks in NICU and after that he moves to SCBU for a few weeks. So probably another 6-8 weeks. Seems like such a long time.

I’m so proud of myself, for getting this far in life. I’m a mummy to a beautiful baby boy, my gorgeous fighter. He already looks so much like me and my son, can’t wait till he comes home-just to see how much he’ll weigh. He small. He’ll be in his car seat. He adorable. He’ll be in his little outfits and most of all to watch him grow up at home. I’m amazingly stunned at how well he’s doing.

And well basically, I wouldn’t be this strong if I didn’t have all the support i do have. My boyfriend, my family, my family in law, my friends and all the girls on this site.