Ya, I thought having sex with him was worth it.
Like, I thought we felt the same way about each other. But, I guess not. The few seconds of pleasure are not worth the forever pain, depression, feeling of loss, embarrassment, guilt, shame, and regret that it brings. Not to mention the anxiety of “WHAT IF I’M PREGNANT? OR WHAT IF I HAVE A STD?” Well, it’s been a month exactly since that night.
And I am so upset, but I know I’m not pregnant.
Oh my. I’m 7 days delayed.
I was supposed to have my period last Oct. 15, but it didn’t come. Last two weeks. I’ve been really stressed out because of school. But now I’m freaking out because of this delayed menstruation. I don’t want my parents to be hurt. They’re expecting a lot from me. I don’t know what to do. I want to have my menstruation. And there’s a white discharge in my undies. I’m really confused.
I’m still not sure that I’m pregnant. I’m wishing that I’m not. I’m not yet ready with this huge responsibility. I’m just 2nd college student. 🙁
I’m 16 years old and 5 months old with a baby boy pregnant.
I’m all alone and I really need someone to talk to. Is there anyone out there who can relate to me? I’m not with the baby’s father.
I need someone to talk to.
Trust is something people abuse and take for granted every single day.
I, like everyone else, thought that you could trust practically anybody as long as you’ve known them for a while. That’s all it takes, right? Give them a year or two, a few months, a few weeks maybe? It doesn’t really matter cause that’s enough to trust them. You think you’ve known someone for so long only to find out that you were off this whole time. I found out the hard way that you can’t really trust anybody. I trusted someone I knew for ten years. We’ve known each other since we were 4 years old. He was shy, sweet, kind, everything that would describe a nice, trustworthy guy, but I was wrong. I let my guard down because I thought I knew him after all those years in grade school, but I didn’t. I found out his true nature that terrible afternoon when I was 14, an afternoon I would like to erase from my mind forever, an afternoon I am forced to live with for the rest of my life.
Trusting him was the biggest mistake of my life and I am still paying for it today. I tried to forget my past, I tried to bury it in the deepest, darkest part of my mind, but it came back and now it’s plaguing my every footstep. The boy who ruined my life, who made me hate myself, who made me have nightmares for years is now dating one of my closest friends and I have to pretend like everything’s OK, like nothing’s wrong. It’s the punishment I get for trying to run away from my mistakes. If I could go back in time, I would go back and I would tell myself not to trust him, to stay away, but I can’t. I can’t change the past, it’s a part of who I am now. I’m getting better every day, learning to trust people again. There’s even a guy in the picture now. Well, I’m hoping he’s going to be an official part of the picture and I feel great about it. The memories still come back to haunt me when I see or hear something that reminds me of that terrible day, but it’s not as bad as before. I succeeded in confiding to my mother and, later, to one of my best friends. I know that there’s worse out there, but that doesn’t stop the pain. All I can do now is hope and try to look at the rest of my life in a positive way.
Trust is something very important, very delicate, I just hope you don’t take it for granted like I do. Don’t give it to just anyone, give it only to those who really deserve it. I would like to have a chance like you do, but I’m afraid that chance is long gone. So don’t waste it ok? For me?
October 17th 2009 was my baby’s due date. It has been a year and the wounds seem to stay fresh. I think they will never fully heal. If I can do ANYTHING positive from this regretful decision is that my story can help someone else choose the right choice.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was 19. My boyfriend and I had been together only 6 months. When I asked him how to approach our parents about the situation, he told me that we had other options. My heart sank, and I knew that I was not strong enough to go through this alone…So I did the unthinkable. We planned for an abortion.
I don’t need to go into the details of the process itself, other than that it is a scarring and painful memory I will never forget. As soon as I took the first pill, I regretted the decision and tried making myself throw up, but it was too late. After the horrible experience, once it was all over…I felt numb, lost, and alone. I felt the darkness overtake my life and I was left without a reason to live. I wanted to end it all. I dropped out of school, quit my job, and didn’t shower for months. I lost a lot of weight. I didn’t do anything but stay in my boyfriend’s bed all day and night. I was severely depressed and I just didn’t care about anything anymore.
I felt like I didn’t deserve to live. How can I take an innocent life away? My OWN flesh and blood? Why did no one tell me how hard this would be? I kept thinking about my baby’s smile, his/her eyes, kept thinking if it would look more like me or his/her father. I still think about it. Now that I have friends of my own having children, I hold their babies and can’t help but think of my child. God, how I wish I could turn back time and just know how it feels to hold him/her. Tell my baby every day how much I love him/her, how I’ll keep him/her safe for the rest of my life. I never got a chance to, and I only hope that my baby knows that I did love them very much and that if I could give my own life to save theirs, I would in a heartbeat. The inability to fix anything is torturous.
My boyfriend and I broke up last year, a week before our baby’s supposed due date. We have been seeing each other on and off, but I think we both carry that pain within ourselves. I know we love each other deeply, and this can eventually work…But we need to communicate about what happened. It’s like it’s an unspoken subject that neither one of us knows how to bring up. I just want to ask him to hold me and let me cry when all I can think about is our baby. How can I do that without affecting him?
All I know is that I’m going to spend the rest of my life thinking about my baby; how old he/she would have been, and what they would be studying or doing. I’ve finally come to peace within myself, I know God forgives me…The hardest part was forgiving myself, and it’s times like these that I have to start from phase one again.
I lost myself, and who I was the day I decided to have an abortion.
I miss who I used to be, but I grew stronger and overall I’m a better person because of it.
My mission in life is to help any women going through a hard decision. The women who know they are pregnant and feel scared, alone, abandoned, and weak. They are NOT alone. Seek out advice from women who have had abortions and those who decided to keep their babies.
In the long run, keeping the baby may seem like the hardest decision…But no one speaks of the inevitable depression and everyday struggle of having to live with what you did when you have an abortion. There are NO moments of happiness like there would be if you have a baby and see them smile for the first time, or know the feeling of how much love you can have for someone you just held for the first time.
Think it through, and ask God to guide you, and LISTEN to your gut and heart. I chose to ignore ALL the signs, and here I am, regretting it every second.
Be strong, be a role model to others, and be a great mother, cause I know you all have the potential to be.
I love you all, and I pray that no woman ever has to experience what I did, but if you do, or are currently going through it….I pray you learn to forgive yourself and come out stronger. You will all be in my prayers….for life, until the day that I die and am reunited with my little angel.
Happy Birthday My Love,
I Love You More than You Will Ever Know.
I had unprotected sex and it was my first time doing it, but I had just gotten off my period 2 days before it.
I had sex Oct. 8th and my period ended on the 6th. He pulled out early, but an hour and a half later, we did it again, and I’m really scared that I might have gotten pregnant. I know it’s too early to tell now but I really need help and I’m scared. I’m only 16 and I can’t get pregnant. I don’t have anyone close to me that I can tell or talk to it about, I’m freaking out and I just, ah.
It was a bad mistake for me to make.
