Oh baby baby

My head is a whirl wind of thoughts, and has been since I last had my period on 28th oct! Trying to conceive a baby is not so straight forward as I would have wished for. I have done 2 preg tests both negative, but can’t believe either!!! 

I WANT TO BE PREGNANT……………………

Now either my bodies playing tricks on me and I going mad by having phantom preg………….sore boob’s feeling sick, no period and generally just feeling different!!!

Or I am preg & test just hasn’t registered it!!!

I’m 42 so age goes against me, but I am very fit (as in active)…..running!!

I have a 2 year old whom I still breast feeding, my periods came back in july………so they still could be settling down(I don’t want to believe that)!!

I wish I could switch my head off for a while, I keep going to the toilet checking to see if period has started……….. I find myself giving my boobs a quick poke to see if there still tender(which they are)……….

I love being a mum………& my desire for another baby is so intense……… I feel very guilty for wanting another child when  I have been blessed 3! My son is 20, then my daughter 17 and then there’s my toddler who’s 2 🙂 

 

 

 

 

My light <3

A lot has changed in the past year.

We are engaged to be married on the 18th of February. Harry is 2 years old and getting more beautiful everyday, and then Gemma is 5 months old and an amazing baby despite her early start in life.

I haven’t been on for a while. When Gemma was born, I was suffering from Post Natal Depression and I really thought I hated her. By the time she was 2 months old, we’d started to bond and then now, I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without her. My fiancé works away probably 3 days a week so it’s hard because I’m like a single mom a lot of the time and I worry about him.

Addiction and unplanned pregnancy.

So ladies,

I have a severe drug addiction problem as does my bf. I couldn’t go 9 months w/o drugs – no way. I am pro-life though. This sucks. Thinking about this makes me want to do drugs gosh help me!

Fallen Angel

A fallen angel… Such beauty broken. 

She lived with grace, whose heart was stolen. 

When time ran out, a choice was made. 

For forbidden love’s thrill, her wings she’d trade. 

A thousand tears fell from her eyes, when love betrayed her with no goodbyes. 

And regret, that realized all was done, begged for the wings that now were gone. 

Forever chained, by choice, to ground; her covered face and head hung down. 

Dirt and thorns had stained and torn the pure white gown with pride she’d worn.

Now, with only regret and sorrow, gazes she upon tomorrow. 

And a cry is heard, a distant sound from up above the lonely ground. 

She felt His tears fall on her skin, as ugly reality finally set in. 

She, now fallen, never again to fly;

Of her own free will, had turned from heaven and said goodbye.

Possibly pregnant with baby #3 at 20 years old…

I am 20 and I am the mother of two sons, 3 and almost 2.

I recently started feeling off. I am always tired, I cry constantly, I can’t stop stuffing food in my mouth, my boobs hurt, and my period is MIA. I am facing my third unplanned pregnancy.

I am going to find out for sure tomorrow, but I’m scared. I’m scared to know for sure either way… If I am, that is 9 months of worrying about how my family of 4 is going to handle being a family of 5. Worrying how my boyfriend will feel. Worrying how our families will feel.

If I am not. I am facing disappointment after feeling all these “pregnancy symptoms” and getting all worried for nothing… It always hurts.

(This is my 3rd scare since I had my second. My last one, I am sure, was a miscarriage, but I’ll never know.)

Pregnant at 15

Hi, I’m pregnant.

I am 15 years old and am under a lot of pressure to abort. I flat-out refuse to murder my innocent child, but others do not see it that way. I have lost too many friends and do not wish to cause any more trouble, but that will spell abortion. Abortion is wrong in every way, shape, and form and I despise it. Why can’t my friends, teachers, and relatives see it that way? The only light in this is my boyfriend. He is supporting me financially and has recently been kicked out and completely cut off by his parents, who he just learned today are not his actual parents. He is living with me because my dad is compassionate enough to take him in. Anyways, how do I get others off of my back? I’ve made my decision, but they won’t take no for an answer.

How do I get others to see it the way I see it? And if not, to at least come to terms with my decision?