Me and my friend were just sitting down in my room and the doorbell rung and it was a old friend that I knew and he came in and we just started to talk and he just started kissing me and I was saying in my mind I am a virgin and I want to stay that until I get married and I told him that and he said not today and he just started to take that was not his and I want to tell somebody what he did but I can’t.
So what should I do?
I’m in love. He’s my best friend. He’s my everything.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 months. We are inseparable….haha. He gave me a really pretty ring that he saved his money up for and bout 2 months later….lost it…and I just got another one….the exact same one for our 4-month anniversary… He surprises me all the time…and just when I think I can’t possibly love him anymore…he surprises me again… Did I mention I love him? haha.
Well, ever since we got together….we’ve had baby names picked out… Ya, I know…but that’s the way we are together…Bella Rose or Damien Lee…ha, we never actually thought our day could come so soon…I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant… I can feel it …. We’re always safe…but I know things can happen… I have all the symptoms. I haven’t tested yet. My boyfriend and I are going to do that this weekend…and you know what? This may sound crazy but….we can’t wait until we flip it over and it’s positive… No matter how much my parents are going to yell at me… No matter how much people may look at me differently at school… I don’t care… I love this guy…and I love what we created together…at least what I THINK we created…hah… And if you think about it ….everything’s going to be fine…LOVE conquers all.
p.s. My bf calls the potential “baby”…Microbella….and I like to call it Tinkerbella…hah…cuz we hope it’s a girl…
Thank you for listening and I hope you all can understand… I really love how you’re all here for each other and I’d love to be here for you.
Hey, I am happy to announce that I am 6 1/2 months pregnant currently. I will have a Feb 14 baby
There was nothing left but the blueness of the sky. I walked around cleaning with the vacuum cleaner, ordered around by the people who were now the ones who told me what to do.
My ex-boyfriend had forbidden me to talk to anyone, to show myself to anyone due to my ‘condition’. My parents now forbid me to talk about him, to talk about what happened.
My baby kicked around in my belly, playing, and it seemed like my body was curling itself in around this baby, the only thing that was left and treasured in this empty world.
The sun had gone out, and the world had fallen. There was only a baby in my stomach, and I was going to live. I didn’t need to eat to do that, and I didn’t feel like I was breathing, the air had run out in the atmosphere, and the smell of him on the cover of my bed lingered as I lay there in silence and wanted him to touch me, even if he took what he wanted without asking.
The phone rang, the shrill sounds of the Sony Erickson vibrating on the marble kitchen bench. His number.
I didn’t pick up at first, wanting to, afraid, while my parents watched me with their stern gaze, almost commanding silently what I had to do. I can understand them now; of all the things that they were responsible for, they were the heroic ones in this episode of my life; they had stopped a forced abortion, and they had saved me from a place that was dangerous, seeing as how many enemies I now had. I couldn’t see that; I didn’t care. I just followed commands; the sun had gone out anyway.
“Tell him to choose either you or his mother, and then hang up”, said my mother as the phone rang the second time.
I answered. There was a silence.
“Privet,” he said.
“Either choose me or your mother,” I said, and hung up. I didn’t care, I didn’t know what was going on anymore. I wanted him to help me, to love me, I wanted to stop this pain.
He called a few times after that, but I didn’t pick up.
I could just hear the shrill sounds of the Sony vibrating on the kitchen bench, almost rattling the lacquered floors so hard it vibrated, almost taking my breath away with it.
There was nothing left of that day. There was nothing there.
So I am 27 years old and I feel like I’m 13 or something. I found out I was pregnant on Aug. 27th of this year and I can honestly tell you that I am terrified, angry, somewhat unhappy, nervous, scared, mind boggled.
Why all of these feelings, you ask? Well for starters, I’m not in a relationship of any shape or form with the father. I’ve known him for about a year and he was just someone that I liked to have “fun” with. Now the fun has stopped. He is denying that he is the father, claiming that I must have been having “fun” with some other guy. For starters, I’m not like that. I like to have fun with one person at a time for awhile, not go around having fun with all kinds of people. OK, so besides that, there is also the fact that like I said, I’m 27. BUT I am in debt and currently living in my parent’s basement (which looks like the set for the movie of Arachnophobia, except for my room). I also haven’t told my parents because (this is when I feel 13), I am scared to death of their reaction. I am really pretty sure of everything and anything they might say, which would be along the lines of ‘how in the hell are you gonna raise a baby when you can’t even pay us rent or pay your father his money back?’ Or they might just be sooo pissed that they say nothing and just kick me out. There are things in my community to help out mothers who are struggling financially but I don’t know where to start with all that.
I’m also just scared of telling my parents for the simple fact that they know I’m not in a relationship with anyone and the simple fact that I was stupid about having fun with some guy who is acting like a jerk and that I’m going to have to hear about it (probably the rest of my life). I already know I messed up and I’m trying to deal with it. I’ve had 3 abortions in the past because before, I used to just run from my problems instead of dealing with them (not saying children are problems, but when I was younger, they seemed that way). But this time, I am doing the right thing, and I know it’s not going to be easy, but I wish it would be. I just feel alone, scared, confused. All types of emotions all mixed up going through me right now. I would like to point out that I do get a happy feeling, when I realize that I believe I am developing an attachment/bond with my baby in my belly, but it hasn’t quite overpowered all the bad feelings. It does get better right?
Keep you updated!!
I went and bought a pregnancy test and it came back negative and I was so excited. Then after a few days, I began to get morning sickness and I was like there is no way I can be pregnant but I was. Every kind of air freshener made me sick. I tried to hide the pregnancy from my mom because I knew that she would freak out…
Dear Becky |
I am sixteen years old and I had an abortion. It was one of the worst experiences of my life……Here’s my story.
I was raised in church all my life…..and of course they told us to “wait until marriage before we have sex” and I had always told myself that I would but I didn’t and it was the BIGGEST mistake I had ever made.
I had been “DATING” this boy since December of last year and in February of this year, we decided to have sex and we did…. We didn’t use protection because he said he would pull out before he released his sperm…….but he didn’t….and he said he did and I believed him.
A few days later, I received my menstrual cycle and I was so happy because I did get my period… Little did I know it can up to five days to become pregnant. My body started to change and I sleep more frequent than I usually do…. My appetite began to change, I never did eat a lot, I didn’t eat anything because I could not hold any food down. I went and bought a pregnancy test and it came back negative and I was so excited. Then after a few days, I began to get morning sickness and I was like there is no way I can be pregnant but I was. Every kind of air freshener made me sick. I tried to hide the pregnancy from my mom because I knew that she would freak out and kill me. Everytime I had to throw up, I went in the bathroom and turned the water on. Everyday I went to school, I threw up all day. I just thought maybe if I got an abortion, nobody would have to find out and I would not have to deal with all the pressure from my ”RELIGIOUS” family…. So I turned to my friend’s sister who I thought I could trust. She said she would take me to get the abortion and she would help me pay for it.
I took another pregnancy test and it confirmed my worst nightmare. I was indeed pregnant. Little did I know she betrayed me…. She called my mom and told her. My mom called and ask me if I was pregnant and I said NO and she simply said Don’t lie to me because I will find out tomorrow if you don’t tell me the truth… So I said yes. She then hung up on me. After that, everybody started calling me, questioning me. I wanted to run away so bad I had even thought about killing myself.
About a week later, we went to the abortion clinic and I received counseling but it didn’t help me at all…… They asked are you sure you want to do this…. I said yes because that’s what my mom wanted. Deep down inside, I wanted to say no. (I JUST WASN’T SURE ABOUT WHAT I WANTED)
Then about a week later, we came back and I was nervous. I hated the people who encouraged me to do it. They called my name and my heart dropped because there were so many young women and girls getting abortions and it hurt my heart to see such a thing. (I had always said that abortion was bad and I would never get one because if I was to get pregnant, I would keep my baby but I didn’t…. I killed an innocent child who didn’t even do anything) I went back and removed my clothes and took two pills one to calm my nerves and the other to relax the pain away so i couldn’t feel what they were doing……THATS A HUGE LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt everything that doctor did….. When I heard the vacuum, I knew that it was real and they were killing my child and I could have stopped them but I didn’t. It was very very very painful. When he finished, I looked up and I saw so much blood and tissue and God knows what else…. Oh I didn’t mention that I was 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant.
Now everybody lives their normal life and I sit back and be depressed and I even cry myself to sleep… Nobody knows my pain and agony that I deal with in a daily basis. So keep ALL of my emotions inside and pretend to be happy when I am around people. I tried to forget about it but let me tell you it WILL NEVER GO AWAY!!!!!!!
Dimples
Dearest “Dimples” – Hi, my name is Lisa and I help Becky at the Stand Up Girl website with some of her e-mails.
When I read your e-mail, my heart just broke for you. You see – I’ve been down the road of abortion too. I know that pain and that heartache. That loss that can’t be filled. I will share a link to my story so you can read it if you want.
I’m sorry about your heartache and your pain. Would you like to share more? I’m just a keystroke away.
But I can share with you where I finally did find healing. I don’t share this with everyone. Just those that feel like you and I do. It’s like a heartache you can’t explain with words. Only someone that has been down that road understands. I understand.
I tried so many ways to get the pain to go away. I tried drugs, alcohol and even relationships! Nothing worked. You know what truly worked? I found a true and living relationship with Jesus Christ. Not religion – but a relationship. With that relationship came forgiveness and freedom from all of my guilt. Do you know who He is and what He did?
Do you believe that Jesus was born of a virgin and lived his 33 years hear on earth a sinless life? That He died on a cross and rose again on the third day so you and I could have forgiveness and eternal life with Him in heaven? That He is the invisible God who made Himself visible becoming man?
It’s really simple then. If you believe all of that … then you can just ask Him to come into your heart and He will. The rest is up to Him.
I still remember the prayer that I said. Would you like me to share it with you? You can say it if you want.
Dear Jesus, I thank you for dying on the cross for my sins, and rising again from the dead. Please be my Lord, be my Savior and be my Friend. Please forgive me of all of my sins. I thank you that I am now a child of God and that I am now going to heaven. It is in Jesus’ name I pray this. Amen.
If you were able to say that prayer and mean it … then congratulations. You are now a child of God and you are completely forgiven.
If you weren’t able to say it quite yet – that’s OK. Just maybe save this e-mail so you can read it at a later time if you want.
If you were able to or even if you weren’t able to say that prayer, I’m right here. I’m only a keystroke away.
I have access to another tool of healing for you if you like. It’s a booklet that I used to find healing too. This book is called “Forgiven and Set Free” and it is an amazing tool of healing
Please let me know if I can do anything more for you. Please e-mail me at any time. I hope to hear from you soon.
Luv Lisa
