There was nothing left but the blueness of the sky. I walked around cleaning with the vacuum cleaner, ordered around by the people who were now the ones who told me what to do.
My ex-boyfriend had forbid me to talk to anyone, to show myself to anyone due to my 'condition'. My parents now forbid me to talk about him, to talk about what happened.
My baby kicked around in my belly, playing, and it seemed like my body was curling itself in around this baby, the only thing that was left and treasured in this empty world.
The sun had gone out, and the world had fallen. There was only a baby in my stomach, and I was going to live. I didn't need to eat to do that, and I didn't feel like I was breathing, the air had run out in the atmosphere, and the smell of him on the cover of my bed lingered as I lay there in silence and wanted him to touch me, even if he took what he wanted without asking.
The phone rang, the shrill sounds of the Sony Erickson vibrating on the marble kitchen bench. His number.
I didn't pick up at first, wanting to, afraid, while my parents watched me with their stern gaze, almost commanding silently what I had to do. I can understand them now; of all the things that they were responsible for, they were the heroic ones in this episode of my life; they had stopped a forced abortion, and they had saved me from a place that was dangerous seeing as how many enemies I now had. I couldn't see that; I didn't care. I just followed commands; the sun had gone out anyway.
"Tell him to choose either you or his mother, and then hang up", said my mother as the phone rang the second time.
I answered. There was a silence.
"Privet," he said.
"Either choose me or your mother," I said, and hung up. I didn't care, I didn't know what was going on anymore. I wanted him to help me, to love me, I wanted to stop this pain.
He called a few times after that, but I didn't pick up.
I could just hear the shrill sounds of the Sony vibrating on the kitchen bench, almost rattling the lacquered floors so hard it vibrated, almost taking my breath away with it.
There was nothing left of that day. There was nothing there.
