So he’s currently deployed.
It’s every day or at least every other day we talk to each other for 1 to 2 hours. We’re at the level of best friends and I enjoy it. I’m getting help with all the pain attached to the procedure experience. In March, I enlisted in the army for the fact I’m not eligible for financial aid to go to college, I need insurance and a little discipline wouldn’t hurt. I’ve graduated and this Sunday, I’m attending the actual ceremony to set in stone that I graduated high school. But this whole time since I’ve “graduated” has been nothing but work, therapy, airsofting, and preparing for basic training. I can’t say it will be a cake walk but it will be tough, test my issues, and slowly pull away from playing mother to my little bro. I can’t have kids anymore but it’s becoming less of an issue once the fact was absorbed.
Well, that’s all. I got drill this morning and I gotta wake up to go to Emporia.
PVT
I’m 17 and 3 months pregnant.
We have dated for only about 4 months but we got REALLY serious, REALLY fast.
We had actually talked about what we would do if I were to get pregnant somehow. I’ve always said I would get an abortion. I never had a second thought. I honestly didn’t think I would get pregnant, but I knew I wouldn’t be ready for a baby for a long time. Well, one day at work, I just felt weird and the first thing I thought was “Oh my God, I’m pregnant”. I wasn’t even late for my period yet, but I knew. I bought a test on my break and went to the Food Lion bathroom and to my utter shock, it said pregnant. I really didn’t know what to do. I just went back to work with my eyes wide. I was so out of it, I kept ringing people up wrong and giving the wrong change. My boyfriend was at Busch Gardens that day. I had texted him and told him we needed to talk and he texted “I’m @ busch gardens. I don’t want 2 talk. BYE”. I was already ill that I wasn’t at Busch Gardens because all his friends had taken their girlfriends. I don’t know, it just hurt my feelings. So I texted back “I’m pregnant. BYE”. He was mad that I wasn’t getting an abortion and saying that I was ruining his life.
Every now and then, we would get into big arguments but It always ended up OK. But ever since I told him I was pregnant, everything has changed. He calmed down for a while and supported me and was sweet. Then I decided I DID want to get an abortion. I had so many dreams. I felt like my baby would hold me back. But I kept putting it off and having an excuse not to go to the clinic. Throughout these couple weeks, we had broke up. We hadn’t talked in about 2 weeks when I called him to tell him I was keeping the baby.
What made me decide to keep it was when I watched Juno. That sounds really dumb but just seeing how happy the mom was at the end when Juno gave her a baby made me cry. And he doesn’t get it. I mean, I get sick all the time and nauseous and like that shows me that the baby is THERE. Like it is affecting me. The things it does to me makes it so much more real. I wish he could understand.
Anyways, after I told him that, he turned into like super boyfriend. He was so sweet and nice and wanted to go to the doctor- everything. Slowly though, he got ill again. I couldn’t even count all the times he told me I ruined everything for him. He once said I was a gold digger and got pregnant on purpose. He says the nastiest things to me. All I do is cry. He literally makes me want to kill myself. I am so depressed because of him. Things were going good for about 4 days (a record here lately) then today, he got pissed because I wanted to know what he was doing. We’re not talking now and I am crazy and stupid, according to him anyway.
I just wish he could support me and help me. I wish he got my moods. I wish he didn’t ask me to give him a back massage when MY back is killing me. I really wish though that I didn’t love him so much. I want him so bad I just do everything he says. All we do anymore is have sex and fight. It makes me feel like absolute garbage!
It sounds really stupid but I feel like if I still have sex with him, I will still kind of have him. Like if I don’t have sex with him, I will lose him FOR GOOD. I have such a twisted mind about him. He treats me so badly but I let him. I always said I wouldn’t be that girl but it’s what I’ve become. I’m trying to not talk to him because it’s just a matter of time before he apologizes and wants to have sex. I usually fall for it and then it goes right back to how it was. But I’m going to try not to now.
It sucks a lot though because part of me wants us to be together for my baby. I want him at my appointments and I want to go baby shopping with him. He used to be so different. I wish I could get him back how he was.
I miss him. But the way he treats me stresses me out and I don’t need that right now.
It all started when I started dating my boyfriend. I was barely 15 when I started dating him. He kept bugging me and I finally caved and lost my virginity 2 months into the relationship. A month after that, I got pregnant. I told my mom I was pregnant and she flipped out. She called his parents and we all met at the Urgent Care. They gave me a pee test but it came back negative. I knew I was though. I went to Planned Parenthood a couple weeks later and they confirmed the pregnancy. The whole time, I was trying to figure out what I was going to do. His parents kept telling me if I ever did get pregnant that abortion was the only option and that he was too young to have a baby. When I showed him the test results, that confirmed it. He pressured me into an abortion. I was 5 weeks along. I regret doing that soooooooooo much. I named the baby Bailey Skye.
We didn’t really talk about the abortion after it happened. I noticed after everything, he started getting very mean. He would yell at me and that’s when the abuse started. If I did something wrong, I would get hit. I was too afraid to leave him and he said if I did, he would hurt me so I put up with it. I refused him sex so whenever he wanted to, he pinned me down and raped me. 6 months later, I got pregnant again. I was keeping this baby though. He was furious when I told him. I lost the baby at 11 weeks due to a miscarriage though. I named the baby Jordin Blaire. I miss that baby sooooo much. It really affected me. I let myself go. I didn’t dress up or put make up on. I just gave up.
He continued to rape me whenever he wanted. Then 3 months later. Everything would change. I found out once again I was pregnant. I went and got my ultrasound and found out I was having twins =] I was soooo happy. I had even gotten up enough courage to finally dump him. When I went to his house to tell him and to end it, he was downstairs on the computer. When I got down there, I told him I was pregnant with twins. He yelled and called me a whore and said they weren’t his, even though I haven’t slept with anyone else. I told him it was over and he slapped me across the face. I knew it was going to get rough so I quickly put my jacket on and ran up the stairs to leave. Before I got to the top of the stairs, he grabbed my jacket and pulled me back. I feel down the stairs hard. He grabbed me and pinned me on the floor. He raped me. I felt really nauseous though so I leaned forward and started coughing. I coughed up blood onto his white shirt. He got very angry and started hitting me. I kicked him and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I threw up for like 5 minutes straight. When I went to stand up, I felt a huge gush of blood down my leg. The pain got very bad so i just laid on the floor and screamed and cried. I laid there for like 45 minutes when he finally found something to open the door with. He looked at me on the floor and saw the blood and said, “Good, you lost the little bastards.” I miss my twins soooo much. I tried being strong for them but he overpowered me. I named them Jayden Mitchell and Audrina Rose. They were 9 weeks.
I haven’t talked to him in months. Losing all the babies didn’t effect him one bit but it affects me everyday. I haven’t gotten over any of it yet. It was the worst 18 months ever but I don’t regret my babies one bit, I only wish I had them with me in my arms. I finally told my parents a couple weeks ago about all the pregnancies and how abusive he was.
I’m in therapy now but it’s so hard to see babies and pregnant women. Yesterday was mother’s day and I wasn’t even acknowledged by my family. I feel so alone.
Ok, so here’s the deal…me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex a week ago.
I know it was really stupid because I just had a baby a month ago. And I know you’re most fertile after having a baby. Hence why I’m so freaked out. I mean, it only took me two weeks to get pregnant before, and now all I can think about is how easy it’s going to be this time. I’m so terrified. An even worse thing, is if I have to wait much longer to find out, I’m going to start hoping I am. That scares me even more. I shouldn’t want another baby. I have my hands full with one. He’s only a month old. How could I deal with two babies both under a year old? I just don’t know. I’m so so so scared. Me and my boyfriend can deal with it, but it will be so hard. See, when I was in 8th grade (I’m in 11th now), I just knew that I was going to end up pregnant before I graduated high school. Wouldn’t you know it, three years later, positive pregnancy test. And after my son was born, all I could think of was “I’m going to be going through this again sometime in the next two years.” My instincts were right before, now I’m scared they might be again.
Everyone I’ve talked to said the possibilities of me being pregnant again are pretty big and I have a feeling, if it’s not this scare, it’s the next. Someone, please please please help settle my fears. I’m so scared.
I am 13 and in 2007, I was raped. I was REALLY late for my period. I was 3 MONTHS late!! So me and my mum went in for a pregnancy test and of course…I was pregnant!!! My mum automatically got me an appointment for an abortion.
I still regret it to this day. For the first 6 months after that, I cut myself. I realize that now because I was put in a foster home and a crisis unit for a couple months.
If anyone needs to talk about deciding to get an abortion or not, I’m here.
Sorry I haven’t been on for so long but I’ve been really buzzy.
Well, this is an update… I am now 20 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I find out the sex of the baby this Thursday, May 15th.
I can’t wait I’ll let everyone know when I find out. :O)
