Its been a full month

It’s been a month and 6 days since I lost my baybee. I felt like killing myself, but I didn’t, cuz everything happens for a reason. Someday, I’ll have a baby, but till then, I’m always going to know that ma baybee will always smile at me from above =)

Love you 4ever baybee *Damien*

Truly yours forever,

Your Mommy

The Love Of My Life Wears Diapers!

I’m new here. Well, I sure didn’t make that too obvious.

I’m 15 and I have a beautiful 8-month-old baby girl. She is the light of my life.  She was born May 3rd. I was 14 when I got pregnant and I thought my life was over. Not once did abortion cross my mind though. I would never punish my child for my actions.  I’m still with her father, a little over 2 years now. He is 19 and when I got pregnant, he got a job for us.

There is a little about me.

blah!

Just a quickie as I’m off to bedi-byes.

I’m 21 years young [22 soon!] and have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter and am also 18 weeks expecting with a son.

I was with their father for 5 years, but recently, he split as he couldn’t handle my hormones, but they were explained after 10 weeks of madness by me finding out I was pregnant, the day I was going to propose to him [day before my 21st birthday] but he couldn’t handle it, and so left us. At the moment after 7 weeks of not talking, we are trying to work things out, so hopefully we will.

I’m trying to better my life and in September, I decided to go back to work and college [not knowing I was preggers] and am doing a 3 year course in childcare and preschool education. Just finished one exam =) But at the min, I’m finding it hard going in and going to work as I’m having terrible morning evening and night sickness lol. And so can’t be bothered with college in the morning as i know I’m gunna spew on the way there!

That’s all about me for now, off to bed!

Period, Birth Control, Pregnant

Could I be pregnant even though I had my period and while on the birth control called the Nuva Ring?

My finace’ have been trying to get pregnant since July. Nothing yet, My period started on November 26 and it didn’t come again until January 2. On January 3, we had sexual intercourse and on Christmas night, I starting using the Nuva Ring on the 5th. We had sex last week and he notice that my breast had a discharge. He asked me was I pregnant and I said not that I know of. I went to the mirror in our bathroom and sure enough, it was coming out of my breast. I had noticed that they were popping out of 36C bras that I wear, but that was one of the side effects of using the Nuva Ring. I just took it out on Friday and my breast continues to hurt and leak. I called my doctor to see what she wants me to do. So I have to take a blood HCG to confirm whether or not I am pregnant before I continue the birth control. I have been very moody, going to the bathroom a lot. Eating foods I don’t normally eat after a certain hour. I crave cheesecake ice and those Sara Lee cheese cake bits.

Let me know what you think, is it possible or just another hopeless thought.

im going crazy!!!

My life has been full of ups and downs, as far back as I could remember.
My parents were never together, all I could think was it was my fault. And then when I was 12, my mom told me they were never even together, “I am a mistake” is all that kept running through my head. So I went on keeping my secret, it tore me up inside but I didn’t want to tell my family cause I didn’t want her to disown him. Then when I was about to be in 5th grade, on the fourth of July, two of my brother’s friends tried to rape me. I was so scared and I felt like it was my fault. I didn’t tell my mom about it…I usually tell her everything but this I can’t say. I’ve been in counseling but it’s such a sensitive subject that I don’t even know how I would go about telling my family. I have a seven-month-old son and when I hold that stuff in. Sometimes, my secret gets to be too much and I think I can’t take the pain anymore.
I have tried to kill myself and sometimes I think about it. My son is the only thing that keeps me going.
What should I do?

random fed upness!

Just a rant really, hmmm I’m so fed up right now. I live with my parents, so does my 18 month old and my partner and I feel so suffocated by it all. 7 people in a small 3 bed house and it’s really draining me now. My parents don’t know or won’t accept the limitations when it comes to my daughter.

The teaching, discipline, and major decisions are mine and no one else’s but i get overridden! I say no sweets and they give them to her. Talia has a paddy and I chose to ignore her and they smother her with attention which makes her worse.

I know that they are trying to help but it’s making me feel less like the parent and not in control. I’m very sensitive and I know that I am but this is most certainly not me being too sensitive.

I can see the future and in it, my child has no respect for me or my authority because someone else is always undermining me. Fair dos’, my mother has raised 3 children and knows her stuff but I also know how to raise my child and am doing a pretty dam good job I think!

My daughter is hardly a walking dictionary and refers to a few things with the same word but when she shouts for mammy or daddy, my parents go running before me and my partner have a chance to move. its like they actually think they are the parents sometimes and to be honest it is slightly freaky.

There are also the subtle hints of us finding our own place (with this credit crunch, its not so easy) but we are trying and they invited us to move in because our house was damp.

I feel a little out of control of my own life and everything at the minute. i just needed to rant a bit randomly. Even if no one reads this, it still has made me feel better as if I have just stood up and screamed lol x