At the age of 18, a senior in high school and captain of the cheerleading team, I feel like I have pretty much everything I could ask for.
I’ve always been pretty careful about using contraceptives when having sex, but I know that they aren’t 100% effective. About a month ago, I messed around with one of my good friends. It was one of those “in the moment” type things that you never speak of to anyone else. It seemed fine until about 2 weeks ago when I started looking at my calendar to check when I was supposed to have my period. It hasn’t come yet… It has never been this long in between cycles and it starts to worry me. I took a pregnancy test over the weekend and it clearly came out negative, but I know that there are false negatives all the time. I’m more afraid of telling my parents than I am of actually being pregnant, because I’ve grown up in a Christian home where sex before marriage is frowned upon, and having to tell them this would totally devastate them. I know that they would be so disappointed in me. And besides that, the guy who it was with isn’t even my boyfriend, which makes things even worse.
I’m just very lost right now and need some help……
I went to church yesterday and the sermon was all about forgiveness.
I came up after service to get prayed for because the Lord knows I need it. I gave my sin of abortion to Jesus. I prayed for my baby and that I will see her in heaven, and after 9 years… I forgave myself. God forgave me after I begged for it, and I forgave me. This is a new start, a new path, a new beginning.
I can move past it and continue to help people now who face this struggle.
I became pregnant at 20, luckily my family supported me with my decision to keep my baby. The first 3 months were perfect. I had no morning sickness or any symptoms for that matter. As the pregnancy went on, I started to have high blood pressure, diabetes, and A LOT of water retention. I went on like this for 3 months and my symptoms were getting worse.
One day on a routine appointment, my blood pressure was extremely high. They would not allow me to go home. I later found out I had pre-eclampsia. I had spent 3 days in the hospital with every medical equipment you can think of attached to me. On the third day, they had told me they were going to perform an emergency C-section. If they didn’t, my daughter and I would have died within a couple of days.
I gave birth to her at 31 weeks, 4 days. She was 2p 2oz and later dropped to 1p 7oz. She was in the hospital for the first 2 months of her life. Thankfully today, she is 5 months old at 10p , still pretty small but she is very healthy, and I thank God every day that she made it.
I am a 26-year-old single Mother of Twin Boys. 7 years old. I have been in a relationship for 3 years and found myself happy. We have discussed marriage and children and also concerns of “what if we had gotten pregnant prematurely?” We as a couple have had a lot of the same concerns and agreed or so, I thought we agreed on our feelings. We have recently discovered we were pregnant. Unplanned, Unwed, and now confusingly Unhappy.
I know a child is a blessing. I have 2. 2 Miracles, I should say, because I and my twins had gone through quite an ordeal when they were born. But I don’t understand, after having so much discussion, why me and my partner are now so distant from each other. I want to be happy even though this was unplanned, but his reactions to this pregnancy are leaving me unsure about the security of our future. He “says’ he is there for me, but I feel so disconnected from him. He has major concerns as do I. We are not living with one another, and we live about 45 mins. away from each other. He has a 9 year old son. And he is also concerned about his situation with his son and how its going to pan out. But what I keep trying to tell him is that we are a couple, and we can continue to be such, i understand that we are going to have a struggle ahead of us, but I’m willing to work at it together. But he just isn’t connecting with me.
Now as I said, I am a single mother of TWINS. I know what its like to raise children on your own and i am absolutely not up to that challenge again. I don’t want to go through the trauma again, and of course, don’t want to put my child through it again either. So I feel that if we are not connecting, and I am going to to this on my own once again, I feel like abortion might be my option. I am hurt and scared and confused. Hurt because this is becoming an option for me, scared because of the pain I will go through, and the guilt. And confused because I thought we were destined for happiness, and all I see is gray clouds ahead.
I need some advice on how i should handle him and letting him know that I am going through this too, it’s not just him. I need support.
I didn’t have a clue what to write in the blog so I thought I’d share my story. At first, I was embarrassed of how my life has gone but this website has made me feel less alone. And hopefully, some of you may even be able to understand.
I am now 17 but my story started when I was 15. I thought I had met the love of my life at the age of 13. Head over heels in love wasn’t the words. We were together on and off for 3 years and then I fell pregnant at the age of 15. Carrying the secret around from my parents was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And eventually, three months later, I agreed to let my midwife tell them. I got kicked out of my house and got told I was only allowed back if I had an abortion. So I was staying with a friend, still at school taking my exams. I was desperate. Then I got some bad news. My boyfriend had been arrested and was facing 5 years. All I could was carry on and that’s what I did. I wouldn’t let nothing get me down and I was so determined to carry on because I knew the minute I held this baby, it would be all worth it. 2 more hard months passed and it was time for the 5 month scan. My friend’s mum came along for support and then the news was delivered to me, my baby had died and had passed away around two weeks ago. My whole world turned upside down. Was it my fault? How was I going to tell the father? What’s going to happen next?
The next day, 1st August at 8.20pm, I gave birth to a perfect baby boy. My mum let me home but it wasn’t the same. Ever since, me and my mum haven’t been the same. But anyway on with my story, my due date passed, the year anniversary passed and i felt so alone. Nobody remembered that it was exactly a year later my precious baby boy was born.
April, I met somebody, the most amazing boy I’ve ever met. So kind and loving and everything I needed. However, on July 3rd, I found out to my surprise that I’m having his baby. Terrified that the same will happen again though blessed to be carrying another child. My mum kicked me out again and now I’m back home. I know I’m getting judged, 17 and second pregnancy, but my boyfriend has stuck by me and he’s working every hour to get us by and he does the best he can do for me and I can’t ask for no more. I am currently 14 weeks pregnant, excited and happy that I’ve been given a second chance. But I am disappointed I cant fulfil my dreams as soon as I wanted to but I know I’m going to the best mother I can be to this baby and that’s all all of us can do.
See, there’s a long history… I was in high school, living on my own and met this guy who I was crazy about at the time. He eventually dumped me, we moved on… But he recently appeared back in my life. It was a beautiful evening about a month ago, when we spent the entire night sitting by the waterside, talking about the past, the present, the future… I couldn’t believe how different he seemed.
Let’s cut to the chase, since we all know what’s coming next… I went back to his place, we had unprotected sex and Lati-Da! The next morning, he went to work without waking me up… Sweet right? WRONG! I got a little nosy while looking for his address so I could make my grand escape; well there was a letter from his ex… RIGHT on the kitchen table with the bills. Apparently, he had gotten her pregnant and she had an abortion. She had moved out & they broke up. Note: I did notice an extra toothbrush and tampons in the bathroom the next morning… Not what I was expecting!
Now that you’re up to date; here’s what’s going on… I’m so paranoid that it’s driving me nuts and I’m too stubborn to take an actual test to cancel anything out! WIMP, I knoww! But it’s that I’m starting back at college next month; just getting myself on my feet again. I’ve tried those stupid online quiz’s, and most said there could be a possibility of a positive pregnancy. Yikes, my worst nightmare at this point, since that guy that was SOOO different; doesn’t call, barely online… And won’t respond any texts. I was supposed to start my period last week or the week before; it’s always been a bit off… But could I really be 3 & 1/2 weeks pregnant?? Would you even notice something like that? See, I drink fairly often with friends, and I haven’t slowed down since this happened… It’s only now that I’m thinking… “WHAT AM I DOING?!?”
